When Your Child Has Doubts About God

Were you ever convinced you were adopted and no one had told you? I know a lot of people do at some point in their childhood. Maybe they saw a movie, read a book or heard a news story about a hidden adoption. Most likely the child either looks or thinks differently from the rest of the family. The fact that she looks or acts differently from the other people in her family makes her doubt her genetic connection to them.

When a child doubts her genetic connection to her family, it is usually a temporary phase of childhood. It doesn't mean she loves her family any less or that she wants to leave. She is merely questioning her place in the family. Usually some photographs, a few family stories and sometimes a birth certificate will convince the child she really is genetically connected to the rest of the family.

Sometimes our child's doubts may be about God. They may have questions about things they don't understand. Perhaps something they have seen or read has conflicted with what they have been taught from God's Word.  A teacher or friend may have mocked them for believing in God. Since there are no photos of God, what do we do to help our child through their doubts?

Doubts can be scary. We become terrified that if the doubts aren't responded to well, the doubter will never believe. It is even scarier when we know that someone's salvation is at stake. So we ignore them, push them aside or make light of them. We hope that by doing those things, the doubts themselves will disappear, leaving a strong believer in their place.

Unfortunately, doubts will eventually be answered by someone. Either the doubt will fade by these answers and faith will increase or the doubt grows into disbelief. If spiritual doubts are not answered by Christians, the world is very willing to encourage the doubts and grow them into disbelief. But how do we get past our fears and help our child's doubts and questions turn into a growing faith in the Lord?

The most important thing you can do in your house is to create an atmosphere where everyone feels free to ask any questions they have about the Lord. This is easier if the Lord is already a topic of constant conversation in your house.

If you discuss the sermon every Sunday (notice I said discuss, not criticize!), it would be natural for your child to insert a question about something she didn't understand. If everyone shares what they are learning in Bible classes and studies and in their Bible reading, there will be a lot of opportunities to express questions and have them answered.

I was reading a book the other day about why young people leave the Lord. One of the reasons was unanswered doubts. When the author delved a little further, he realized that many of them had also been unexpressed doubts. You can't help someone through a doubt you don't know exists. Create an atmosphere that is non-threatening for your child to share anything with you. You will be surprised how much they will share when they know someone is really listening.

When your child has questions or expresses a doubt, don't panic. In a strange sort of way, it is actually encouraging. It is part of the process of making your parents' faith your own personal faith. If he is so uninterested that he has no questions, the apathy he is showing is actually more of a concern than a child expressing doubts.

Once a doubt has been expressed or a question asked, determine whether it is merely a question or a doubt beginning to surface. Stories abound about parents misunderstanding children who have questions about where babies "come from". The parent assumes "the worst" when often it was just a curiosity about the hospital in which they were born.

Spiritual questions can be the same. What may sound like a doubt may actually just be a question of a curious child. On the other hand, what seems like an innocent question could be the cover for some serious doubts. Ask your child some follow up questions. What do you mean? What came up to make you ask that? Does that answer your question? Asked in a non-threatening manner, questions can give you more information about where your child is in her thinking.

It is important that you know your stuff. This means you need to study your Bible regularly on your own. With so very many false teachers in the world today, it is essential that we read and understand the Bible for ourselves. It is fine to refer to other books and people, but do they line up with what you personally read in scripture? Is the argument a logical fallacy from someone who is taking a verse out of context? Or is someone actually quoting Ben Franklin as God (it has happened!)? If you have studied your Bible, often you can answer the questions your child may have without outside assistance.

What is your child's personality? Is your child more emotional or mental in his reasoning? If you present books and facts to a child who operates from an emotional point of view, they will not do any good. If your child is more analytical in her thought process, presenting emotional arguments for the existence of God will have little impact.

If your child is analytical, there are lots of resources available to you. Lee Strobel writes some great books (A Case for Christ and others) on several reading levels from child to adult. His books use a lot of outside evidences to confirm the Bible as the true word of God. The Creation Museum in KY has lots of resources on their website to help children who have been influenced by science to doubt God. Your preacher can suggest other resources that may answer your child's particular question.

A more emotional child will be more interested in seeing God in nature. The scriptures tell us that nature is an evidence of God. In our generation, evolutionists have tried to take that away from God. Even they are now beginning to have to admit though that macro evolution has too many holes in it scientifically.  It is hard to deny God's existence as you view the amazing sea life at the Atlanta Aquarium, see the multi colored birds in nature or walk through the Grand Canyon. Something inside of you seems to want to praise God in the presence of such beauty.

All children, but especially the more emotionally based ones, will benefit from hearing how you have seen God working in your life, the lives of others and especially the life of your child. At a young age, God's hand is sometimes more difficult to see as you do not have the benefit of looking back over a long period of time. You can help your child learn that God is active in his life and how God is working in that life.

Follow up a few weeks or months later on their potential doubts. "Did you think any more about what we talked about regarding such and such?" "I was thinking about our talk the other day on such and such and it reminded me about another evidence." Make sure your discussion also answered any other questions it may have generated. Don't just assume because your child doesn't ask the question again, that it isn't still bothering her.

Cover your child's spiritual walk in prayer. Pray that she follows the path God has laid for her. Pray that he finds a strong Christian spouse that will help him get closer to God. Pray that God will help walk her through her doubts and help her emerge a stronger Christian.

Ultimately faith, is just that, faith. There are no pictures of God and he won't pick up the telephone and call us. At some point we had to make the same choice our children will have to make. Is God real and do I have the faith to follow Him and obey His Words? Questioning may temporarily delay that decision, but if questioning becomes a way of life, then you have answered the question by your denial of letting go and having the faith in God He asks of us.

Trying to parent your child and dedicate her to the Lord can be scary. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Ask a strong Christian to be a mentor to your child. Make sure your child has opportunities to be influenced for the Lord by attending worship services and Bible classes. Seek out parents whose adult children are faithful Christians and ask them to mentor you as a parent. Remember, God has given Christians the Holy Spirit to help guide them. He knew we would need help in our Christian walk. Especially as parents. Hang in there and I pray the Lord will help you turn your child's doubts into belief.

Gifts From My Granny

My grandmother died yesterday. She would have been 91 years old in March. As I thought about our years together, I thought of all of the very many gifts she gave me. Not material gifts, for she and my grandpa never had very much money. The gifts she gave me were the very best kind. They are gifts I use regularly and treasure in my heart.

Granny gave me the gift of being raised in a family that loved the Lord. God bless the person who invited her into church one Sunday morning as she stopped to rest with her baby stroller in front of that building. Those people studied the Bible with her and she soon became a Christian. The church family that invited her in would become my church family once the baby in that stroller grew up, married and had me.

Granny didn't stop there though. She gave me the gift of knowing the joy of sharing the Lord with others. She shared the Gospel with the rest of my family. Before long my great-great-grandmother, my grandfather, two great aunts and uncles and even my mom and dad became Christians as a direct or indirect result of her influence. I really have no idea how many people over the years became Christians because of my granny's influence. It really doesn't matter though. I know until the very end of her life sharing the Gospel with others was important to her.

Granny gave me a love of the Bible. My earliest memories of my grandparents are waking up and stumbling into the kitchen to see them reading their Bibles. I can't think of a time in my grandparent's house when a Bible wasn't sitting out on the table. I guess you know it was usually open!

Granny taught me the power of prayer. Even those who didn't really believe in or worship God would ask her to pray for them. They knew in their hearts that God would listen to this sweet lady who loved Him so much. I think in every conversation I ever had with her, she told me she was praying for me. I have to say that is one of the best gifts ever - to know you are covered in prayer.

Granny gave me the gift of tenacity. For a mild mannered, sweet, Christian lady, she could be stubborn! What I loved though, was that the thing she was the most stubborn about was the hope that her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren would love the Lord and obey Him. If she felt one of us was wondering away from the Lord, you were going to hear it and hear it. I am not sure if her heart's desire was more that she got to go to heaven and be in the presence of God or if it was that we would all be there with her!

My granny also gave me the gift of cooking with love. My cousins who lived near Granny were all about her chocolate chip cookies. My family lived several hours away so we loved the sticky buns she  gave us for breakfast. Somehow she always managed to have plenty to send home with us too.

As I learned to cook, I realized it wasn't her recipe that mattered. It was just an average recipe. It was the love she put into them. I loved helping her make buns and chatting to her about my life. Once I had my own daughter, I watched as she would hop up to the counter and continue the tradition of helping Granny make sticky buns for the next morning.

Granny didn't just cook for her family though. She cooked for anyone who needed a meal of love. It might be a new neighbor, the preacher or someone who was ill or sad. She knew it wasn't really the food that helped, but the knowledge that someone loved them enough to cook for them. Our house currently looks like a bakery exploded in it as I bake for various people I want to show I care about them. Granny gave me the gift of knowing how to help people with a simple cookie or bread recipe.

Granny gave me the gift of serving others with a happy heart. One of my favorite conversations with my granny happened probably a year ago. After asking me about the church work my family was doing, she shared something. She had just been to the nursing home to visit the "old people". Now mind you, granny was about 89 years old at the time. I would love to know how old those old people really were! All my granny saw though was that those people needed to be served and she went with a light heart to do just that.

Granny knew that sometimes the best gift you can give other people is the gift of letting them serve you. She new that new Christians needed to practice serving on people who would encourage and love on them for their service. In the current climate of selfishness and rudeness, Granny knew that not everyone knows how to be gracious. She would let others serve her and then shower as much love and gratefulness on them as she could.

Granny knew the value of rest. Now I have to admit, she took a lot of teasing from the family about her naps. I realized she started taking naps at least in her 30's! She was always after us to rest too, which never ceased to amuse us. I realize now though that she knew we were all very driven, hard workers. We have all worked ourselves to the point of exhaustion more than once. Granny understood the concept of Sabbath and why Jesus often went off to pray. To serve, sometimes you just need to refill your own tank. Granny wanted to give us the gift of rest so we could continue to teach and serve others.

My daughter has somehow inherited one of my very favorite characteristics of my granny. Granny was the original nothing sad, nothing bad lady. She always, always saw the silver lining. More importantly, she always saw the good or the potential for good in others. When one of us would be furious at someone, she would remind us that often the person was mean because they were hurt themselves in the past. Someone's behavior might hurt or puzzle her, but she would never lose faith that they would change. She never doubted that their hearts were good somewhere down deep.

Granny gave me my love of mission work. From my earliest memories, Granny would tell us about the adventures of the missionary Juan Monroy. Her hope was to someday get to visit him on the mission field. I was so excited years later when he came to visit the congregation I was attending in NYC. I couldn't wait to be the one who told her of his latest adventures!

Granny loved to hear our stories as we ventured into mission work, first in the inner cities of the US where I lived and then in Mexico as we worked with a children's home. She never got to go overseas, but in the last years of her life she was able to go visit a children's home in SC. She was so excited to get to go to a mission field and deliver some help. We decided as a family that there would be nothing that would thrill Granny more than instead of people sending flowers to her funeral they would help that children's home.

The best thing about the gifts my granny gave me is that I can share them with others and still have them for myself. My hope is that one day she and I can sit in Heaven and talk with all of those we shared my granny's gifts with. I know she would enjoy that!

Advice From a Christian Great-Grandmother

Every congregation should have a "Miss" Bettye. If they gave out awards for uber-grandma's, she would win. Miss Bettye loves the Lord and she will praise Him no matter the circumstances. In fact, she has been fighting cancer for several years now and I have never heard her do anything but praise the Lord.

Miss Bettye also loves everyone unconditionally. You may disappoint her, but you always see forgiveness in her eyes. You also know that she truly believes you can change for the better no matter what you have done.

The other day I had the chance to have a chat with her. We had just finished watching ten of her eleven great-grandchildren in our church's children's program. (Her eleventh was watching in the audience.) I know a number of people who have raised all of their children to be faithful Christians. Miss Bettye is one of the few people I have met who has all faithful children and grandchildren and is seeing her great-grandchildren raised in the same church.

I had to know what her secret was. "Keep the lines of communication open," she said.  As we talked further, I realized that sentence meant a lot. There were actually several tips she had for me in that one statement.

Miss Bettye believes in really talking and listening to your children.  Too many parents are afraid to discuss the tough subjects with their children. Whether it is from fear, dread or procrastination, many parents never really tell their children how they feel about important subjects. Sometimes the parent may tell a child something is wrong, but never really explain why they believe what they do. Study after study shows that children really do look to their parents for guidance. Unfortunately, many of them are not receiving the parental help they so badly want and need.

Sharing your beliefs is the most important when it comes to matters that can effect your child's salvation. As our children get older we hopefully leave matters like career choice, decorating their abodes and diet tastes to our now adult children. We should, however, always express any salvation concerns we have. Not in a judgmental, nagging way, but with concern and love.

Your child's relationships can have life changing implications. Are you talking with your child about how to choose good friends and dating relationships? Are you talking and listening to their friends and dates? Have you thought about your ability to influence the friends and dates of your child for the Lord? Miss Bettye has. She had even helped convert at least one.

Miss Bettye encourages her family to talk to her about anything. The best way to help your child get through the tough times is to really listen to her. What is the real root of her problem? All of us want someone who really hears us and offers unconditional love. It doesn't mean we have to approve of their choices, just that at the core of the issue, we love them no matter what. If they know we come from that place, they may just hear and heed our advice a little bit more.

Go grab your child and go out for ice cream and a talk. You might just be surprised to find out what you learn and how much you can influence your child to follow the Lord.

The Heart of A Parent

I really want to have a long talk with Mary and Joseph. I have to think God chose the best possible earthly parents to raise His son. Not perfect, because only Jesus was, but probably better than most. I think I may be right, as at least some of their sons (Joseph was their birth father and the adoptive father of Jesus) were leaders in the early church. (The book of James is thought to have been written by their son James.)

Unfortunately, my conversation probably won't happen very soon (and if it does, I won't be writing about it!). My clues to the parenting advice Mary and Joseph might give have to be gleaned from what the scriptures tell us about their actions. I went back and re-read everything I could find that mentioned either one of them. They really do have quite a few lessons to teach us about godly parenting.

Mary trusted in the Lord and His will for her and her unborn child from the very beginning. Immediately upon learning she would have a child, Mary responded, "I am the Lord's servant...May it be to me as you have said." She was willing to serve the Lord and raise her unborn child dedicated to the Lord. She had no idea all that was in her future raising this child, but her trust was in the Lord from the very beginning.

Have you thought about the plans the Lord has for your child? Are you committed to dedicating him to the Lord and helping him find God's path for him? Do you view all of your decisions regarding your child through the lens Mary used? She knew God had a plan for her and her child and she was willing to follow that path in faith and trust. Do you trust God to show you the path for you and your child? Have you talked with God in frequent prayer asking Him what His plans for your child are? I am sure Mary did that more than just this once.

Mary realized her child was a precious gift. I know he was the son of God, but I imagine she felt this way about all of her children. Mary praised God soon after she was told she was going to have a child. She realized that giving birth to a child was a special blessing from God. He was entrusting her to raise this new person to be obedient to Him. She expressed her gratitude immediately for His blessing.

In a world saturated with negative news, I think we are starting to forget to be grateful for the many blessings we do have. Remembering your initial excitement when you found out you were pregnant might just help you through those tough parenting days. Children truly are a blessing and being grateful for them not only helps us parent better but sets a great example for our children. Include prayers of thanksgiving in your family prayers. Thank God for your blessings before you start asking Him for things.

Joseph was an involved and thoughtful father from the very beginning. Joseph never seems to get as much attention as Mary, but in my book, he was one great Dad (and husband!). He was in a situation that was probably mortifying in his society. I am sure the gossips' tongues were wagging like crazy. He was man enough to not only ignore the gossips, but to follow God's plan for his family. He even must have had to put his family business on hold while he took his family to Egypt for safety. Mary and Jesus were important to him and he did whatever it took to keep them safe.

Are you willing to stand up to "parental peer pressure" and do what is best spiritually for your family? Can you miss activities and bravely tell others the reason is because worshipping God is your number one priority? Do you make teaching your child about God your most important family goal? Are you willing to sacrifice promotions at work to give your family the time and attention they need to be spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically healthy and safe?

Mary and Joseph made God a priority for their family. Not only were they following what must have seemed like a very crazy path that God was laying for them, they kept following God's "normal" rules. They made sure that Jesus was circumcised and then presented at the Temple for purification according to the Laws of Moses. Since they took Jesus to the Temple for the Feast, it seems they were following the laws regarding going to Jerusalem to celebrate certain Feasts. They also made sure Jesus had training in the scriptures, as the Bible lets us know that Jesus was capable of holding His own in conversations with religious leaders. The Bible also says Jesus grew"in favor with God and man", implying He was experiencing spiritual as well as physical growth.

Are you a "Sunday morning Christian" or is being a Christian just who you are all of the time? Are you a person of integrity in God's eyes or do you tell "little white lies" or "fudge things" a little from time to time? Do you consider God's laws negotiable or do try to incorporate them into your life and the lives of your children? Do you study the Bible with your child and teach her God's principles throughout the day as you are going through your activities?

Training your child "in the way He should go" is a 24 hour a day, seven days a week job. The world (Satan) is doing everything it can to undermine any Godly training your child receives. Are you trying hard enough to give your child a rock solid spiritual foundation or are you depending on others to do that for you? I have always said that if I have to answer to God for the spiritual training I gave my child, I want to have done everything humanly possible to make sure she had a good strong foundation before I launched her.

Mary tried to get her children involved in helping other people solve their problems. At the wedding in Cana, it is somewhat unclear why Mary knew Jesus could turn the water to wine. She did somehow know he could "save" the wedding and the host's embarrassment by creating more wine. She pushed Jesus into performing what is His first known public miracle. I think it is interesting Jesus said it wasn't His time yet, but then launched His ministry at her urging by turning the water into wine.

I don't think Mary was the first "Tiger Mom". I think she was aware God had a plan for Jesus and that He had been gifted by God to help others through miracles. She wasn't living her life through Him or trying to get Him to do things He hated and was not prepared to do. She was merely encouraging Him to step out and begin the life God had in mind for Him.

Have you let your child experiment in different areas and find the gifts God has given her? Do you encourage rather than push when he is nervous about continuing on the path God has for him? Sometimes if you take a step back, it is amazing how much your child will soar. At times though, he will still need your encouragement that you do still see God working in his life. He may need you at times to help him find God's path for him in his own life.

Just remember, it is your child's path, not yours. That path may look very different from what you had hoped or imagined. With prayer and God's guidance though, it will be the very special path God has laid for your child. I get excited just thinking about the blessings and work God has in store for our daughter in the future. I can't decide what those are though. God is much wiser and will make a better path for her than I ever could.

Even when she wasn't exactly sure what was happening and what was the best thing to do, Mary was supporting her child with all of her strength. I can't even begin to imagine what must have been going through Mary's mind at the Crucifixion. I do know that her love for her son was not going to keep her away. She was not hiding in the shadows either, but close enough for Jesus to tell her from the cross that he wanted the Apostle John to take care of her. Scholars aren't in agreement if Mary, the mother of James who went to the tomb was Mary, the mother of Jesus (now known by possibly her now oldest living son). I tend to think it was her. She seems to be the type of mother who was going to make sure Jesus was well cared for even in death.

It seems natural for a mother to be there for her child.  When times are really tough though, let's be honest. There is a little piece in everyone that may just want to run away and not be responsible for anyone. There are times when parenting is down right scary. The good parent is always there though, praying. A parent will be there even if there is nothing else that can be done.

Mary kept her faith in God no matter the craziness around her. I cannot imagine how exhausted and confused Mary must have been after the crucifixion, resurrection and ascension of Jesus. Yet she is mentioned by name as one of the people who were praying to God and waiting for whatever was going to happen at Pentecost. Her faith in God and obedience to Him seemed a constant in her life. I am sure she had a lot of questions for God over the years, but she still took them to God in prayer.

Are you covering your child and your family with prayer? Do you wait for God to show you the next step or do you just do what you want to do? Is God the basic foundation of everything you do? Are you actively training your child to do the same?

I have to admit, my favorite parenting advice from Mary and Joseph is the phrase "she treasured these things in her heart". It always makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I think Mary's eyes lit up when her children walked in the room. I think she gave them her full attention when they had something to tell her that was vitally important to them. (Even when she might have thought it was silly or childish.) I think she thought of her children as a blessing and not a burden that was keeping her from living her fulfilled life.

I believe she was a mother who truly loved her children and made raising and training them a major priority in her life.  She seemed to find the joy in being a parent and treasured all of the wonderful memories she had with her children. She never lost sight of the fact that Jesus was God's son. Yet, I imagine she had the same free choice given to her as every other parent on earth. She chose though to dedicate herself and her child to the Lord. If we can start there, I think we will be well on our way to being the godly parents God wants our children to have.

Shopping With Jesus

I will never shop at Walmart on Black Friday again. I know. You are never supposed to say never. I really mean it though. I. Will. Never. Ever. Shop. At Walmart. On Black Friday. Again!! Now I wasn't at the one with the pepper spray or arrests, but it was still a very, very unpleasant experience. I lost count of how many times I was rear ended with another cart and nearly decapitated by flying, leopard print, memory foam bath mats (evidently the hot item this Christmas). And those were the high points of the trip.

I was so pleasant and patient though. Quite proud of myself actually. My pleasantness continued through my hour long wait in cold temperatures for my midnight Target trip and then again a few hours later at several other retail outlets. And then it happened. The guy at the frozen yogurt place was giving me grief about honoring my coupon. Something about him not having my telephone number. I snapped. All my pent up frustration was ready! While I didn't curse or throw things, my voice did raise a few decibels as I made it clear they would honor their coupon. Not my best moment. Maybe you can identify??

I worked in retail quite a bit in my early twenties. You can understand the occasional customer meltdown. Certain situations just seem to bring out the worst in anyone, especially when the store is giving less than stellar customer service. What is sad are the people who are consistently rude, thoughtless and dismissive. What is even sadder is that most servers and retail people will tell you the worst offenders are Christians on Sunday mornings after church!

If some of our main purposes as Christians are to glorify God and point others towards Him (especially our children), shouldn't we be more like Jesus when we shop and eat out? Maybe it is just the lack of what we used to call "home training" that causes people to be so thoughtless in public. Of course that doesn't explain the bad reputation of Sunday morning Christians among retail workers. Maybe their expectations of us are just a little higher. Or maybe we are just tired of "being good" all morning and take it out on the people who are trying to serve us.

Whatever the reasons, the result is non-Christians (and our children) are seeing a poor reflection of Jesus in our behavior. As a former retail worker and an ex-New Yorker with lots of restaurant server friends, here are some things you might not have thought of when dealing with service people. If you and your family practice some of these with the next person who serves you, you may be surprised to find yourself telling them about God and inviting them to church. At the very least, they may have a more positive impression of Christians and as a result, God.

1. Look them in the eye and recognize them as real people. Be honest. How many times have you needed your server or been asked at check out who helped you and you have absolutely no clue what the person looks like? Servers and check out people are often treated as robots or some other non-human. Make a point to notice the color of her eyes and whether he looks happy or tired. It is an old trick that trains you to not just look, but see.

2. Carry on a brief pleasant conversation as if she were an old friend you just ran into at the mall. Exchange pleasantries. Make a joke. If you can tell he is having a rough day, try to empathize. If you frequent the same places, you will begin establishing a relationship with some people. Relationships are the best foundation for sharing Jesus' love with them.

3. Don't let your children tear the place up. In the retail store I managed, I can't tell you how many parents let their children come in my store and destroy all of the displays. What was worse is that they didn't correct the child or help the child clean up the mess. I guess they thought it was an expensive playground. If you let your children tear up your house too, then it really is time for you to start training them to be good stewards. This means they are careful with everything they touch. It also means that if they make a mess, they clean it up.

4. If something goes wrong, make sure you are angry at the right person. If the kitchen is slow, it is not your server's fault. If an item is out of stock, it is not the cashier's fault. Your anger may be "righteous", but address the issue with the manager. Don't take it out on the person who has no control over the situation. They are probably as frustrated as you are.

5.  If you are getting poor customer service or are ignored or treated rudely, it is perfectly fine to expect the issue to be addressed. Try to approach the manager as someone trying to help improve her business, not as someone who wants all of the free stuff they can get. Managers are usually responsive if they feel you are being reasonable and trying to make things better for everyone. If asked, make sure your demands are in line with the "crime". If the manager is also rude, feel free to contact his boss.

6. Tip generously! Most servers are paid way below minimum wage and live mainly off of their tips. On a $50 check, that extra 2% only costs you $1 (and an extra 10% only costs you $5). That $1 may mean the difference in not only how you are perceived, but whether or not your server can pay one of her bills this month. If it helps, try and remember your early working days and how just a few extra dollars made a huge difference. Teach your children how to figure out tips and let them practice.

7. Use your manners. All requests should be preceded by "please" and followed by "thank you". Teach your children to treat everyone with respect and good manners. Store clerks are notorious for treating children poorly under the assumption they have no money to spend. Teach your child how to politely, but firmly ask for and receive respect from the people they encounter. Using good manners, is an excellent way for a child to get more respect and attention from adults.

8. Be patient. Count to 40 or 100 or 1000 before losing your cool. Remember, you are probably the 20th or 50th person that salesperson has served today. Many of those customers were rude, dismissive and just plain mean. Even the most patient person would start to feel beaten up after a bad day. It doesn't excuse their rude behavior to you, but it may help you feel a little empathy for them before you start to deal with the situation.

9. If someone gives you particularly good service, make a huge deal about it. Ask to speak to his manager and tell her what an excellent employee she has in him. Write her district manager a complementary letter about her. It takes a few extra minutes on your part, but it can be a wonderful gift to the employee who helped you. Make as big of a positive fuss as you would a negative one had the employee given you poor service.

None of us is perfect and retail and restaurant life can bring out the worst in anyone. Especially when you are starving! Maybe if we imagine Jesus shopping or dining with us, we will remember what our goals are - to glorify God and take as many people with us to heaven as possible. Especially our children. What better witness than to treat the people you encounter the way Jesus would treat them. You may just end up sitting next to your cashier in church next Sunday!