There is a certain arrogance that seems to come with being young. In the 1960’s, the popular catch phrase was, “Don’t trust anyone over 30.”, but I believe they were just saying out loud what young people have thought for thousands of years. In fact, the book of Proverbs is at its core an attempt to encourage young people to listen to the wisdom of their elders and God. Unfortunately, that arrogance of youth often causes them unnecessary pain as they refuse to learn from the mistakes of those that have gone before.
Many would argue that the arrogance of youth is now on metaphorical steroids. Social media allows equally naive, arrogant people to encourage each other’s ideas – whether or not they are based on wisdom or truth. Popularity is equated with validity/truth/wisdom. Sadly, many will live a life filled with negative consequences because of their lack of humility.
It doesn’t have to be that way for your children. You can help them avoid the temptation of arrogance by actively teaching and encouraging humility. It’s not an easy task in our self focused world, but it can be done. Here are some of our tips for raising humble children.
- Surround your kids with scripture. They should hear verses like “Pride comes before a fall.” (Proverbs 16:18) over and over again. Place those verses around your house where your family will see them daily. Etch those scriptures deeply on the hearts of your children. Have family devotionals about Proverbs and Bible stories that involve pride and its consequences. Encourage your children to read Proverbs regularly in their independent Bible reading. Help them memorize and review key verses.
- Point out the problems arrogance causes. Be careful how you have these conversations – you don’t want to appear as if you are gloating or prideful yourself. It is important, however, to see that many times negative consequences can be avoided by humbly listening to and heeding wisdom. Arrogance can seem appealing when it looks like a “fun” athlete or well dressed celebrity. Make sure your kids also know the downside of pride.
- Help your kids develop godly self esteem – neither too high nor too low. A few decades ago, people became concerned about children with low self esteem. To compensate, they begin focusing only on a young person’s positive traits and ignoring the negative. What resulted were children with self esteem that was too high – which came with its own set of negative consequences – like arrogance and meanness. It’s fine to point out the strengths you see in your children, as youth can be a time of self doubt. Don’t be afraid to encourage them to admit and work on their weaknesses – especially in regards to character and sin. The key is balance.
- Regularly serve others and share your faith. As you do, focus on helping your family serve not from pride, but as truly humble servants. Be willing to do those dirty, thankless jobs. Do things in secret. Focus on mirroring the attitudes of Jesus as he helped others during his life on Earth.
- Point out the benefits of wisdom and set a good example. What often resonates with young people is that there are obvious benefits now for obeying God when it comes to heeding wisdom. It’s an immature motivation, but you have to meet your kids where they are and help them grow beyond that point. They will also watch you carefully. Does someone give you wise advice and you ignore it? Do you mock the attempts of older people to give you advice? Do you show disdain for anyone older than you (for example – out of touch, old fashioned, legalistic, etc.)?
Your children will benefit from being humble. Others will benefit if your children are humble as well – your family, the Church and the world. It’s worth taking the time and effort to raise humble children.