If you are like many families, you rarely see your children during the school year. It’s not just school itself, but all of the activities in which your children participate. There are classes, practices, rehearsals, games and performances. Most young people have to squeeze in homework and sleep in the very few hours that remain in their days.
The truth is that many children and teens have far busier schedules than many adults. Perhaps you think they enjoy being in scheduled activities, and they probably do to some extent. They may enjoy the things they are doing and spending time with friends. Or perhaps they enjoy the social clout that comes from participating in certain groups. There is no question that there are some good things that can be gotten from organized activities. The question is, are there better things that could come from having more unscheduled time in their days and weeks?
I am old enough now to have watched several generations of children grow up. Some things change, while others stay the same. Even within a time period, different families have different priorities. I’ve seen what parents have done and the resulting faith of their children as adults. Certain parenting choices make a huge difference. One of the key things O have learned is that most children and teens need more unstructured time in their days, with parents nearby or engaged with them. Why? Here are five key benefits I think young people will receive from having this extra free and device free time.
- They have more time for rest, which often results in better attitudes and behavior. Encourage them to go to bed early or lie on their bed or a comfortable sofa in the afternoon with no electronics. They can read, sketch or write…. or just sit and think. With low lights and a quiet house, those who are tired will quickly fall asleep and get the extra rest they need. If your kids aren’t getting enough sleep, they will struggle with their health and their mental health. Give them some extra time for sleep in their day. It may just make life more pleasant for all of you.
- They have more time to actually think through or process everything they are learning about God and the world around them. Good lessons are designed to make kids think. If they don’t have the time to complete a thought, the potential the lesson had to change their hearts and minds is short circuited or lost. Giving them free time with no devices encourages thinking.
- They have time to be creative, explore potential gifts and develop ones they have already discovered. They’ll also have time to find ways to serve God with their gifts. Okay, this one does seem to encourage activities. Instead of all of their time being spent in classes perfecting gifts though, have lots of things around your house that encourage creativity. Give your kids space to start something creative and leave it out to work on for a time. Give them free time and encourage them to use it to explore and try new things using the things you have in your home. If they get a great idea, encourage them to try it out and see if it works. Schools can kill creativity, but your kids will need it to live a successful Christian life. Give them the time and space to grow the creativity their school days have lessened.
- They will have time to build their faith. Help them create a cozy space for Bible study and prayer. Encourage them to experiment with Bible journaling or scripture art. Give them the time and space to serve God by helping others independently. If their activities have made them miss worship services and Bible classes then they are missing key faith builders. Plus you are teaching them God is only another activity for when there is nothing else better to do. Make time for God to be the top priority in their lives.
- They will have time to be loved, supported and coached by you. I know. You are showing your love and support by paying for those activities and attending their events. Not to mention the hours spent shuttling them from activity to activity. All of that is fine, but it does not take the place of spending large amounts of quality time being nurtured by you. Resilience is based in large part on having a strong relationship with loving, nurturing parents. Truly resilient children have spent a lot of one on one time with parents talking about anything and everything, having fun doing something together (interacting as you work together on something or sharing an experience), or working together around your home. The difference may seem subtle, but it’s actually significant.
Sit down with your kids and look at their schedules. What can you cut back or remove entirely? The pressure from the world around you to over schedule your kids is real and overwhelming at times. The argument that it will make things better for your children can be persuasive. As a Christian parent, this is one of those times you will need to be countercultural to do what is actually best for your kids. Give them the free (and device free) time to grow to be who God wants them to be.