Christian parenting is never easy, but some children are born with personality traits that just make it a bit easier for them to obey God. How much of the original trait is nature versus nurture will probably be debated for many more years to come, but you have to parent the child you have in front of you. So a child (often the oldest) who is more compliant and willing to obey rules, for example, is going to find it much easier to obey God’s commands than a child who is born with a rebellious streak.
Mind you anyone, with any personality traits, can become a strong Christian. Look at Peter and Paul. Both would probably have been considered to have difficult personalities at times, yet they are two of the most well known and perhaps productive Apostles. If your children have traits that may make it difficult for him or her to live a Christian life, with lots of teaching, coaching, correction and redirecting, they can not only overcome the tendency making it difficult for them, but also turn it into a strength.
Don’t believe me? Have you ever seen a stubborn child? You know the one who just won’t budge about anything, but digs his or her heals in even harder? With a lot of work from engaged Christian parents, that stubbornness can become perseverance – a critical Christian character trait!
So what are some of the personality traits you may have to help one or more of your kids to overcome in order for it to be easier for them to obey God? Here’s a partial list to get you started.
- Risk takers. These kids live for risky endeavors. They’re the ones that often believe they will never experience negative consequences for their risky behaviors. If God says getting drunk is a sin and you give them fifty practical reasons why it isn’t good for them, but someone dares them to get drunk, well…… If you work with this child long enough though, that risk taking can be challenged into a willingness and desire to go into the tougher mission fields or ministry areas often neglected by Christians who prefer a little more safety and security.
- Pleasure seeking. This one can be tricky to spot because who doesn’t like a great meal or a manicure or a new outfit. The problem is when the pleasure seeking becomes a top priority and the attitudes become more like selfishness and entitlement. The flip side of this one is tough, but perhaps that seeking of pleasure can be turned into a passion for helping Christians live out Philippians 4:8.
- Materialistic. These kids are all about money and stuff. Flipped and it can become a passion for generosity – earning money to help other people get the stuff they need but don’t have access to.
- Impatient/Angry. These have all sorts of negative consequences. The antidote is forgiveness, but it can take a lot of work as a parent to teach angry children to forgive. Flipping it is threading a very fine needle because people often take this out of biblical context, but working to right injustices is a way to channel passion into something other than impatience and anger.
- Poor impulse control. This one is so important that even secular experts encourage parents to spend a lot of time working with their children on impulse control. The flip side? These kids are quick, they just need to learn how to make godly choices quickly before saying or doing anything…that’s the control part. If they can master that, they can become those Christians that quickly jump in during a crisis and start making things better for those involved.
- Talkative. The Bible tells us a lot of sins come out of our mouths. This is one of those issues that can have a huge positive impact when flipped. These kids are potential teachers, ministers and other people who speak publicly about God. They are not as afraid to share their faith because they are also often extroverts. They may also write great Christian books because they often learn how to speak and write well.
- People pleasing/popularity seeking. Some kids have a strong need to be popular, to have tons of “friends” or to make others happy even if what the others want isn’t godly or wise. This has some roots in self esteem, but can also be flipped so the child has a wonderful servant heart and wants to share the Gospel message with others because it is in their best interest.
- Critical. Nobody may like a critical person, but moderated with a loving godly heart and these are the people that notice issues before they cause too many problems. They can notice the leak before it ruins the proverbial building. They just need to learn how to phrase their critiques so they will be heard and heeded as useful.
If you see some characteristics of your children on this list, don’t panic. They can become like Peter and Paul, but you and they and any other Christians you can enlist may have to put in the time and effort to turn those traits that can pull them away from God into ones that help the Kingdom.