Surprising Questions to Indicate the Health of Your Family

As part of the studies I am undertaking for my Masters in Social Work, we are learning a lot about family counseling. Our readings often contain questions they suggest we ask families to get a better indication of the health of the families with whom we are working. There are not right or wrong answers per se, but the answers can point to strengths or weaknesses in a family’s functioning.

These questions are taken from a variety of sources, but would be interesting to discuss as a family.

  1. Do you eat individually or as a family?
  2. What do you usually talk about when eating?
  3. Who does most of the talking?
  4. What adjective would you use to describe your family meals?
  5. If you could change your family in one way, what would it be?
  6. What is happening when you have the most conflict? What is happening when you have the least conflict? (Context – everyone is tired, Grandma is here, etc.)
  7. How well do you know your neighbors?
  8. Are outsiders giving to your family financial, spiritual or emotional support? Do you give back to your community/church/neighborhood?
  9. What are the strengths of your family?
  10. What would Jesus say to your family if he had dinner with you?
  11. How easy is it to tell each other hard, scary or emotional things?
  12. What roles do family members play within the family?
  13. Who is in your family’s support network?
  14. What does your family believe about God, Jesus, the Bible, Christianity, the Church, God’s commands?
  15. Have each person tell a family story that they believe best illustrates your family dynamic.
  16. How does our family solve problems?
  17. What types of non-verbal communication does each family member use to let your know he or she is getting upset or angry?
  18. Is your family more controlled or spontaneous?
  19. How does your family handle conflict?
  20. How does your family motivate its members to learn, grow or improve?

Did family members feel safe in answering the questions truthfully? Did different members of your family have different answers to the same question? Were they wildly different? How do you feel about the answers given to each question? What strengths do they reveal that you can build upon? What weaknesses do they reveal that need to be corrected or improved?

Healthy families take work. Everyone thinks their family is “normal”, but even if that is true, it doesn’t mean your family doesn’t have room to grow and improve. Pull out these questions periodically for quick checks or find new ones to dig even deeper. Having a healthy family will make it easier for your kids to obey God and eventually create their own Christian families.

Published by

Thereasa Winnett

Thereasa Winnett is the founder of Teach One Reach One and blogger at Parenting Like Hannah. She holds a BA in education from the College of William and Mary. She has served in all areas of ministry to children and teens for more than thirty years and regularly leads workshops for ministries and churches. She has conducted numerous workshops, including sessions at Points of Light’s National Conference on Volunteering and Service, the National Urban Ministry Conference, Pepperdine Bible Lectures, and Lipscomb’s Summer Celebration. Thereasa lives in Atlanta, GA with her husband Greg, where she enjoys reading, knitting, traveling and cooking.

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