Surprising Tip For Getting Kids to Obey

AI can be truly amusing at times. I requested a stock photo recently and typed in “paper turkey”. What I expected to get was this

Instead, what it generated was this

While technically correct, a crumpled paper flag of the country Turkey wasn’t even close to what I wanted or had imagined!

Your children are not mind readers. Nor do they necessarily have the life experience to know what it means to “clean your room”. They may also have very different definitions for the words you use (Not too many years ago, the word “bad” actually meant “good”!). Sometimes their supposed disobedience is actually a breakdown in communication.

The next time you ask your children to do a task, try these tips.

  1. Carefully and fully explain what you want them to do. For example, instead of “clean your room”, try “I need you to pick up your toys, put your dirty clothes in the hamper and make your bed.”
  2. Make sure they know how to do the things you want them to do. My father went to military school, so when we made our beds, the sheets were expected to have “military corners”. That is a skill that must be taught and practiced before a child can do it well independently. Teach your children how you want a particular task done and then help them practice until you are confident they can do it to your satisfaction independently.
  3. Explain terms they may define differently well. For example, “wash your hands, means soap them up really well and scrub every inch of all of your fingers back and front and then rinse all of the soap off”.
  4. Give deadlines. Often the breakdown comes because the parent wants something done immediately and the child thinks he or she has all day to do it. Giving a specific deadline (for little children, you can use timers or things like meals as markers) can help tasks be completed on your desired timeline.

Eliminating communication mistakes can also help you know when your child is truly rebelling against your commands. Otherwise you may be correcting and giving consequences to a child who really was trying to obey you.

Published by

Thereasa Winnett

Thereasa Winnett is the founder of Teach One Reach One and blogger at Parenting Like Hannah. She holds a BA in education from the College of William and Mary. She has served in all areas of ministry to children and teens for more than thirty years and regularly leads workshops for ministries and churches. She has conducted numerous workshops, including sessions at Points of Light’s National Conference on Volunteering and Service, the National Urban Ministry Conference, Pepperdine Bible Lectures, and Lipscomb’s Summer Celebration. Thereasa lives in Atlanta, GA with her husband Greg, where she enjoys reading, knitting, traveling and cooking.

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