Growing up, we lived 30-45 minutes from the church we attended. For most of my years in school, I didn’t attend school with anyone from my church. Yet some of my best friends were those who attended church with me. Oh, I had plenty of friends at school. I was popular enough to be elected officers in clubs, for my class senior year and for the school in student government. But I would go out of my way on weekends to spend time with my friends from church.
Why was this fellowship with my Christian friends so important to me as a teenager? Because they understood me on a deep spiritual level. We had similar values and made similar choices. We dealt with similar issues at school because of our moral choices. We shared beliefs in the most important thing in the world – God and everything connected to Him.
Fast forward to today and a lot of children and teens being raised in a Christian home spend their time with their secular friends. Or their parents choose a church not based on solid biblical theology, but on merely on where their children’s best friends attend. Neither option is helping your kids find the type of friends who will encourage them to obey God and challenge them to grow to their full God given potential.
Not only that, but COVID evidently taught many families that church attendance was optional. That virtual church provided all of the benefits of in person church without the hassles. Only it doesn’t. At in person services, your children will meet all sorts of people that make following God their top priority. They will learn from some, be mentored by some and be challenged by some. They will be loved and supported in many ways – but especially spiritually- by many. Those relationships that are so vital are impossible to make virtually.
What if you are attending a church in person that is biblically strong, but your kids are having trouble making friends? First, teach them that the kids at church are family, not just friends. Just like they have to spend time and be kind with cousins they may not particularly care for, they need to love, respect and be kind to other kids their age at church. They also need to learn that often secular friendships are based on really shallow things. People with spiritual friendships may not have a lot in common, but they have each other’s backs – no matter what. Those friends are so hard to find, but your church has plenty of them if your kids will give them a chance.
Finally, help your kids build relationships that encourage fellowship by being hospitable. It doesn’t have to be fancy or involve food any fancier than a popsicle. Have over kids their age from church. Have over other families. Do things with older people. Go to the park as a small group. Provide your kids with lots of opportunities to fellowship and for the vast majority, those relationships will gradually build.
I live hundreds of miles from the kids I grew up with in church. My parents moved away when I was in my twenties. But the other month we traveled to where one of my best church friends now lives with her own family. We got together for lunch and it was like no time had passed at all. Deep down we still had those same priorities in common and we knew that no matter what, we would always be there for each other. Give your kids that same gift.