For the last several weeks, we have been looking at various spiritual disciplines and how you can adapt them and teach them to your children. Our working theory is that if children develop these habits while young, they will be more likely to participate in them as adults. Spiritual disciplines are not mentioned by that specific name in scripture, but most of the individual ones are discussed. They have been used by Christians for centuries to help them keep their focus on God and become who He wants them to be.
This week’s spiritual discipline is different from the rest, because in theory it doesn’t apply to young children. Confession of sins is, or at least should be, a daily practice for Christians. But the scripture teaches that children are not born sinners and don’t actually sin until they understand what that means at the age of accountability. So why have your kids practice confession?
The truth is that even though small children are too young to understand the full concept of sin and their need for repentance, they can still disobey you and God. They just don’t have the spiritual maturity yet to understand completely what that means. They do, however, need to not only learn obedience, but also what they should do when they disobey you or God.
Ultimately, confession is taking personal responsibility for our actions. It is admitting we did something wrong. It is wanting to be honest more than we want to avoid possible correction and consequences. It’s about telling the truth when it is hard to do so. Confession should lead to repentance and atonement – taking steps so it is hopefully less likely the sin will be repeated (literally turning from the sin) and trying to make right whatever was damaged because of the sin (like Zacchaeus).
You can help your children practice confession even before they totally understand what that means and how important it is when they become Christians. Start by expecting your kids to tell you the total truth one hundred percent of the time and making the correction swift and consequences firm for lying. Lying is the opposite of confession in many ways which may be one of the reasons God hates it so much. Make it clear that consequences for lying about a rebellious choice will be much worse than if the truth had been told and then be consistent about doing what you say. Make it clear there is a zero tolerance policy for lies in your home. (Of course that means you and your spouse will have to be honest, too.).
As they get older, point out in Bible stories what happened when people tried to lie to God. Have them memorize applicable verses. Have conversations about the importance of taking responsibility for our choices. Talk about how “sorry” isn’t enough, but it’s about our hearts actually feeling sorry for not only what we did, but for being rebellious. Discuss repentance and atonement in ways they can understand and encourage them to practice both when they are rebellious.
Confession, repentance and atonement are abstract concepts most children won’t fully understand until they reach the age of accountably in early adolescence (for most). Helping them practice the actual tasks in the process when they are young, however, will make it easier for them to do the practices once they become Christians and understand the fullness of the concepts.