Button Pushing Parenting

Button Pushing Parenting - Parenting Like HannahEver known someone who insisted on doing the very thing that irritates you the most? Maybe he called you by a nickname you hated or she always teased you about the way you pronounced a certain word. You may love the person, but whenever you were around them you kept waiting for them to push your buttons in some way to get a reaction from you. Even now, thinking about it makes you cringe just a little.

Unfortunately, a lot of parents become experts at pushing their child’s buttons. I’m not talking about verbal abuse (which goes way beyond button pushing), but rather doing something on purpose, even though you know it will irritate your child. I know most of you immediately thought about the ever popular singing and dancing ban placed on all parents. If it were up to most children, parents would be banned from all singing and dancing after giving birth. Sometimes though, a mom has just got to sing, and that’s okay.

What I want parents to reconsider is the button pushing that isn’t necessary for your child or you. For example, bringing up topics in front of your child’s friends which he would prefer to discuss privately. Or loudly reminding him to wear his gloves in front of his football teammates. Or revealing information to your child’s friends she would rather they didn’t know. Or pointing out to every friend and relative he’s started shaving or she’s gotten her first period.

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Helping Kids Find Answers to Their Questions About God

Helping Kids Find Answers to Their Questions About God _ Parenting Like HannahKids ask the best questions. Because so many things are new to them, they often develop an interesting perspective on what will later become common knowledge. Unfortunately, many schools are designed in ways that discourage questioning and a love of learning. Children who just a few years ago were full of wonder and questions lose the light in their eyes and begin to lose interest in learning new things as well.

Life though, can present unusual opportunities and challenges which should cause our children to question. When faced with a choice, especially a potentially life-changing one, we should want our children to ask a lot of questions. Hopefully, many of these questions will revolve around what God would want them to do in the situation.

Many parents join the movement to stop children from asking questions- especially about God and the Bible. They want their children to develop love for God and a desire to worship and serve Him. What these parents don’t feel prepared for is the ability to answer the sometimes extremely tough questions our children can have. What if I don’t know the answer? Worse yet, what happens if I tell them something wrong? Will they think I am stupid because I don’t know something? Will I “mess up” their faith in some way?

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Beautiful Resource for Teaching Kids Empathy (and Missions)

Beautiful Resource for Teaching Kids About Empathy (and Missions)One of the cornerstones of Christian education should be the teaching of empathy – especially in relation to serving others and sharing our faith. Instead our attempts, if any, seem to be closer to teaching pity. Empathy involves the ability to really and truly understand as much s possible what life is like for another person. Many times empathy is difficult. How can our children care about what happens in a country they may never visit?

I am always looking for new resources to help children develop empathy. Recently, I was given an opportunity to review a book entitled, In Her Kitchen: Stories and Recipes from Grandmas Around the World by Gabriele Calimberti. This book is a dream come true! It is rare to find a somewhat affordable coffee table book which is also useful. The author has not only managed to capture beautiful photographs, but also introduces us to grandmothers all over the world and their signature recipes.

Each section features a photo of of a grandmother in her kitchen with the ingredients laid out beautifully. The accompanying photo is of the finished dish. Turn the page and you are treated to a short summary of the grandmother’s life and circumstances. The fourth page in each section has a recipe you can try in your own kitchen.

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Principles to Teach Kids When Things Get “Ugly”

Principles to Teach Kids When Things Get Ugly - Parenting Like HannahIn “Letting Kids See the Ugly Side of Church“, I encouraged you to allow your older children and teens to witness ugliness when it happens in church. Whether it is a person who behaves in an overtly sinful way, a minister who trades the pulpit for his sins or a congregation involved in turmoil, ugliness in Christianity can upset even the strongest Christian. On the other hand, you can use what is happening to teach your children some crucial spiritual lessons.

The lessons which apply to the ugliness your child is seeing at church will vary somewhat depending upon what is happening. As you reflect with your children about the things they have seen and heard, it is important to let them share their thoughts and feelings with you first. Listen carefully to what they say. Encourage them to share how that makes them feel and what questions they have. Don’t panic at what they share. Knowing their doubts and concerns makes them easier to address. Just because your child doesn’t say his doubts and fears, doesn’t mean they aren’t there. It just means you will be less likely to address them.

So what basic principles should you share with a child who has seen Christians behave in ungodly ways? There are probably many, but here are some of my favorites:

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Letting Kids See the Ugly Side of Christianity

Letting Kids See the Ugly Side of Christianity - Parenting Like Hannah
Sometimes adults could use a timeout, too!

Once when I was little, I complained about a disagreement my parents were having. My parents looked at me and said, “Take notes. You will fight with your spouse one day and you need to know your marriage will survive it.”  It’s funny how we as parents want to protect our children from any ugliness in their lives. I have known parents who absolutely refuse to ever let their children hear them arguing. It may be fine in childhood, but then you have raised a child who thinks spouses should never fight. After all, his didn’t!

It may sound far fetched, but I have encountered many adults who thought an argument meant they had a bad marriage because their parents had “never fought”.  Unfortunately, we are even more likely as parents to hide the ugly side of Christianity from our children. We then raise children who question the concept of church and even God when they encounter their first ugliness in a Christian or a congregation.

Parents fight. If they don’t, there are other serious problems involved. Two people cannot live together for that many years and never disagree about anything or want to get their own way. Churches too are filled with people. Yes, they are Christians trying to follow God’s Word (granted perhaps some more than others!), but they are still sinful people in need of a Savior. Baptism doesn’t suddenly make you perfect. It makes you forgiven and saved.

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