Some days I almost forget we are now helping care for my husband’s two elderly parents. We are living our more accustomed life of raising and caring for our daughter, my husband’s job, volunteer commitments and regular chores. And then the phone rings.
Suddenly in the middle of the night, we will have Hospice on one line telling us one thing and the facility on the line telling us something entirely different. Both lines are demanding a decision which we feel totally unprepared to make. Or we are running back and forth all over town because one in-law is in the hospital, the other in their apartment and our daughter has to be somewhere. (And we are the blessed ones because my in-laws can afford to be in a place that gives us both the autonomy and the extra help we all need.)
Meanwhile, our daughter needs our love, attention and help with her life. My husband’s company expects him to carry his weight. And we all know that laundry, dishes, meals and yards don’t take care of themselves. There are some days where all you can do is pray and cry.
If your daughter is over 5’7″, has long legs and is thin, someone has probably suggested she consider modeling. To young girls, modeling appears to be a dream job. Who wouldn’t want to travel to glamorous places, wear beautiful clothes and make tons of money?
In Kylie Bisutti‘s book, I’m No Angel, she does a fantastic job of describing the life of a model from a Christian perspective. As Bisutti shares her story, the reader follows her through her early aspirations, her conversion to Christianity and her life as a model. Throughout the book, Bisutti slowly reveals the experiences and thought process which made her decide to walk away from her dream job in order to honor God.
When your first child is about two or three years old, it seems like most of your day is spent in correction. In our house, it was the “terrible three’s”. I remember calling my dad during a particularly “no” filled day and asking if I would still have to punish her this often when she was older. He promised me if I were diligent at three, then the rest of her childhood would seem easy in comparison. He was right. After those crazy few months, our daughter has been delightful and punishments have had to be given only rarely.
At some point after the year fondly known as “establishing who the parents are”, we tend to go into more of a maintenance, correction mode. Most parenting books will tell you this is a result of establishing firm but loving boundaries when your children are young (for the most part!). Because rebellion becomes less common in our homes, we sometimes forget to train our children how to avoid sin and deal with ongoing temptations.
One of my favorite musicals is My Fair Lady. I particularly love the character Henry Higgins. Here was an extremely well-educated, wealthy man who didn’t have a clue about women. He looked upon Eliza with derision for the better part of the movie, only to realize he couldn’t live without her.The truth is, we women don’t understand men much better than they understand us. Oh, like Professor Higgins, we think we do. Yet, if our husbands were painfully honest, we would realize we don’t understand them as much as we believe. Those misunderstandings can lead to spats, fights and even divorce if we aren’t careful.
I was curious when offered a chance to review For Women Only (revised and updated version) by Shaunti Feldhahn. Upon first glance, my inner Henry Higgins surfaced. What woman didn’t know about the eight subjects she was covering in her book? As I continued to read though, I realized most women don’t understand as much as we think we do about how the male mind works.
Growing up, I had a younger brother and lots of guy neighbors and friends. I wasn’t exactly a tomboy, but I could kick a football barefooted and knew enough about sports to impress my buddies. I was very comfortable hanging out with guys and imagined if I ever had a son, raising him would be somewhat intuitive.
Having a daughter has kept me immersed in the world of tea parties, dress buying and girl things for the last sixteen years. I have hesitated to comment much on raising boys in case things have changed since my childhood. Until recently, my search for solid books on raising boys has not been very successful.