Encouraging parents in their efforts to raise their children to be enthusiastic servants of the Lord.
I am a card carrying conflict avoider. Don’t get me wrong – I can stand up for myself with the best of them. Conflict just exhausts me though and I try to avoid it until I just can’t stand it any more.
If you find yourself in constant conflict with one of your children, it can wear you out. You may even find yourself almost avoiding that child or having any sort of meaningful conversations just to avoid the inevitable disagreements.
Continue reading Are You in Constant Conflict With Your Child?
One of the things I love about the ministry of Jesus is that he saw past the actions of people and understood what was in their hearts. Their actions might have been sinful, but if they had a tender heart towards God, He forgave them. If their actions appeared godly, but their hearts were full of ugliness, Jesus would rebuke them.
We will never totally know the hearts of anyone other than our own. In Fighting for Your Child’s Heart, I gave you several ways to attempt to assess the heart of your child. Whether or not you feel you know your child’s heart, there are specific characteristics you want to do everything possible to firmly plant in the heart of your child. I am sure if you asked twenty Christians, you would get twenty slightly different lists, but here are the ones we worked very hard to grow in the heart of our daughter:
Much has been written and discussed about when to intervene on behalf of your children and how much a parent should be involved. The truth is, every situation is a little different and it is difficult to make blanket statements about those sorts of things. There is one time though, every parent should intervene quickly and that is in the battle for your child’s heart.
As parents, we often become so focused on our child’s behavior we don’t even really consider how their hearts are developing. We just assume if they are obedient, they have obedient and humble hearts. We just know if they say “Yes, Sir” their hearts are respectful and considerate. Yet, as I have worked with hundreds of children and teens over the years, I have seen many obedient, polite children who had some of the most disrespectful, prideful hearts I have ever seen.
This is not your normal discipline post. If you are struggling with discipline, you can check past entries under discipline for lots of ideas and tips. This post is about giving your children some of the “why’s” of God’s commands and principles. Sometimes God tells us to do things we may never really understand until we are in Heaven. Often though, God’s rules are not to keep us from “having fun” but to help us avoid all sorts of negative consequences.
Don’t get me wrong. No child wants to hear a constant litany of all of the bad things that can happen if they make a bad choice. Often in our efforts to be the “awesome” parent though, we forget to help our kids understand why God is so incredibly smart about the best ways for us to live our lives.
How many people were on the Ark? What was the name of the Apostle who denied Jesus? Who was in jail with Silas? Often the questions we ask kids and teens about the Bible have them recall facts. If we are trying to dig a little deeper, the questions often result in getting the opinion of the person answering the question. Both of those types of questions can be useful in a Bible classroom or around your house. They can confirm what knowledge has been retained or what a child’s opinion may be on a variety of subjects.
There are other types of questions I want to encourage you to start asking children and teens as you talk about the Bible and its principles. These questions will encourage them to think a little deeper. What you want to do is to try to get them to begin seeing connections between Bible stories, godly principles and real life actions. Hopefully these questions will encourage them to think a little more carefully before making decisions.