Nothing makes a parent crumble faster than the first time a child says “I hate you!”. Normally, those soul crushing words are first yelled when a perfectly lovely child doesn’t get her way. Even the toughest parent wants to cry and give whatever is necessary to turn your child back into the loving toddler who would tackle you with hugs and kisses.
If your child is young, there is actually a lot of good news. What you are dealing with is not so much a child who actually hates you, but rather a child who is too young to have enough of a vocabulary to quickly and easily communicate to you how very frustrated and angry she is at the moment. Very young children may express their frustration by pitching a tantrum.
I haven’t done the official scientific research, but I am pretty sure some people are just born with a knack for entertaining. Others can entertain and be highly creative at the same time. For most though, entertaining and throwing parties can be very stressful. Involving children adds to the stress, because now you also feel the need to entertain as well as provide food, decor and a location. Many women give up and hope they can afford party places when the need arrises.
Some of the most special childhood memories are attached to the celebrations had with family and friends. Kids can often tell you very specific details about parties and dinners long after you have forgotten. There is a part in all of us that cherishes celebrating the blessings in life. How many of those memories are your children missing, because you aren’t sure what to do?
People scanning the internet for advice supposedly want things broken down very simply. Unfortunately, Christian parenting requires a lot of purposeful, intentional, proactive, godly work. It is not easy. There is not a pill you can give your kids or one quick thing you can do in two minutes a day that will help you raise children who become adults after God’s own heart.
The good news is that there are three basic areas where you need to focus your attention each day. If you can work on each of this areas with each of your children on most days, you will greatly improve your chances of raising a child who becomes a faithful, active, productive Christian.
Everywhere you turn, parents are being criticized for hovering over their children. If you believe the media hype, every mother in America is sitting two feet away from her child at all times, ready to make everything perfect. A trip to a local playground or middle school, however, will reveal the reality of modern parenting.
Here is the ugly truth. Many parents are absolutely content to focus on their personal happiness and allowing their children to basically raise themselves.
I have watched countless parents fly through the mall with tiny two and three year olds running as hard as they can (ten feet behind the parent), while the parent is absolutely oblivious to the fact their child could have been lost in the crowd or grabbed by a stranger. I have seen parents give their children whatever they want in an effort to keep them quiet.
I recently saw a commercial for the saddest toy I think I have ever seen. Not because it is cheaply made like some toys. Not because it comes with 5 million twist ties like the Polly Pockets dolls my daughter loved when she was younger. It is sad because the selling point of the toy is that it gives your child as many hugs as he or she wants!
I don’t think this toy was created with the orphan or abused child in mind. It is clearly being marketed to middle and upper middle class children (the price alone would keep it out of the hands of less fortunate children). What I would be afraid to ask is what exactly the creators were thinking when they came up with the idea.
What I fear, is what I see repeated day after day by parents all around me. Parents are ignoring their children in favor of work, hobbies or just busyness. Our children are starving for our focused love and affection. Forget the eight or more meaningful, loving touches every child needs each day to be healthy. Many children are lucky if they get one rushed hug or quick kiss all day.