Not many parenting experts pass my litmus test for a true parenting expert. I frequently watch the morning shows and read women’s magazines to see what secular parenting experts are telling people to do. Often, the secular advice is the same advice a Christian parenting expert would give. Other times, I find myself rolling my eyes at their “expert” advice. (Don’t get me wrong. Not all Christian parenting experts are wise either!)
So what parenting topic helps me separate valuable resources for you from not so valuable? It’s how they suggest you should handle things when your kids start fighting with their friends or each other. If an “expert” counsels you to “let them work it out for themselves”, I know he/she hasn’t done his/her homework in parenting.
Why? Because that is absolutely some of the worst parenting advice you will ever hear. Think about it. Your beautiful, wonderful, normally perfect four year old son and six year old daughter are having a major disagreement. Left to their own devices, they will indeed “work it out”. Unfortunately, their ideas for resolving conflict often involve hitting, pinching, screaming, name calling and other not so wonderful tactics.
This is why we have so many issues in our society with conflicts rising to the level of violence, road rage, verbal melt downs, screaming, cursing and more. No one ever taught any of us how to resolve conflict in godly ways. They let us “figure it out for ourselves” as little kids and we still act like those little kids when there is any kind of conflict.
So what do you need to do the next time your kids start fighting?
Continue reading Teaching Kids How to Resolve Conflict in Godly Ways
I blame Norman Rockwell. Or maybe the Saturday Evening Post. Somehow they took a holiday that was created to be about families thanking God for His blessings and created a competitive holiday. Don’t believe me? Take a look at your local magazine rack. Thanksgiving issues are all about having the best turkey or sides ever. The photos are absolutely stunning, but I’m pretty sure I’ve never had a turkey come out of the oven even closely resembling those.
If you were told the only food you could eat for the next week is your least favorite food, what expression would be on your face? You almost don’t need to think through the process of how to show the disgust you are feeling. After years of practice, it comes naturally when faced with an unpleasant situation.
When our daughter was younger, we played lots of board games. Over the years, the games changed as we moved from CandyLand (one of the happiest days of my life!) to Monopoly to the challenging family and friend games my husband now invents. I also began to realize these days and nights of game playing helped us teach and reinforce many lessons on godly behavior.
Want to help your child have a better dating life? Want to stack the deck so your kids are more likely to want to date godly young men and women? Want to make sure your kids know when the person they are dating is going to make a great Christian spouse? There are no guarantees, but there is one fun thing you and your spouse can do to give your kids a great start on dating, love and marriage.