Unfortunately, I think we are beginning to raise a lot of Eddie Haskell’s. I love to meet a child who has been taught good manners by his or her parents. Let’s face it, even marginal manners in a child (or an adult, but I digress!) are becoming more rare in our age of flash point anger, entitlement and a lack of personal responsibility. I applaud any parent who has taken the time and effort to insist that their children say “please” or hold open doors for other people.
My husband and daughter will confirm for you that I am far from an expert on handling conflict. My training as a teacher, though, has taught me some better ways of handling disagreements. While it definitely won’t resolve all of the conflict issues in your home, it may eventually make them more pleasant to deal with when they do happen. (These are listed in no particular order.)
Mrs. S didn’t stop with academics. Her students were the best behaved and neatest students in the school. She demanded they wipe their feet before entering her room. She constantly washed their hands with Purell and expected them to behave. In fact, she had a reputation for being one of the strictest teachers in the school.
Yet the children absolutely adored her! They would do anything for Mrs S and had. Years after they left her classroom, many of them still kept in touch with her, even when she retired. After watching her in action for a year, I think she taught me a lot as a parent about how to get only the best from a child.
I think one of the hardest parts of parenting is knowing when to be an advocate for your child and when to step back. Everyone secretly fears become a “pageant” or “backstage” Mom. We have had some experiences recently that helped me realize at least one time where I think you need to jump in and intervene.