Are You in Constant Conflict With Your Child?

Are You in Constant Conflict With Your Child- Parenting Like Hannah

 

I am a card carrying conflict avoider. Don’t get me wrong – I can stand up for myself with the best of them. Conflict just exhausts me though and I try to avoid it until I just can’t stand it any more.

If you find yourself in constant conflict with one of your children, it can wear you out. You may even find yourself almost avoiding that child or having any sort of meaningful conversations just to avoid the inevitable disagreements.

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When Your Kids Make Mistakes

When Kids Make Mistakes - Parenting Like Hannah

Perhaps the hardest thing to accept as a parent is that you will never be the perfect parent and your kids won’t be perfect either. And that’s okay. Sometimes the mistakes we or our children make are just that – silly little mistakes that turn into family stories and legends. At other times, the mistakes actually involve sin and hearts and lives can be broken.

Kathi Lipp was a mom who had children who made some choices that would make any Christian mother cringe. At first she was embarrassed, but quickly realized she was not the only mother who had done the best she could do to dedicate her children to God only to have them make choices that pulled them away from God. She ultimately decided to write the book I Need Some Help Here!: Hope for When Your Kids Don’t Go according to Plan to help other mothers.

The biggest gift Lipp’s book gives moms is the reassurance that they are not alone. Many times it feels safer to present our “perfect” families to our church “family”. Unfortunately, it ends up isolating us from the people who can give us the most support when our children are struggling. I hope Lipp’s book encourages moms to open up to other Christian moms when their kids are making bad choices. The prayers and support from our Christian brothers and sisters can often help.

Within her efforts to encourage, Lipp breaks her advice up into nine areas where our children can struggle. Some involve when our child decides to walk away from God, but a lot of her advice is about children who are just struggling. She covers everything from being different to being ill to being overwhelmed.

Within each chapter, Lipp shares the story of one or more mothers and children who have struggled with the particular issue. The stories she shares are respectful, yet detailed enough to be helpful. She then gives four or five practical things a mother can do when she finds her child (and herself) in the particular situation. Some of her suggestions are what you would expect -prayer, scripture, getting outside help. She also gives reminders of godly principles and a practical tip or two. Lipp is also a strong believer in sharing what “not to do” as much as what “to do” in a given situation.

While I agree that no matter how well we parent, bad things happen and our children can and will still make bad choices. I do differ from her in that I strongly believe there are proactive things you can do to lessen the chances your child will make certain poor choices or end up in certain situations. Her book is more from the “horse is out of the barn” so forgive yourself and do what you can to improve the situation line of thinking. Because of that, I think it is helpful for parents whose children are already in bad situations, but will not help you parent your child away from anything proactively.

If your child is struggling with sin or just from living in a fallen world, I think you will find comfort in this book. You may even discover a few practical suggestions to help you on your journey. Ultimately though, this book can only be the first step in helping you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and find the help you need from God and other Christians.

If your children aren’t struggling at the moment, I think the most important lesson from this book is that many parents are hurting badly. Keep your eyes and ears open for them. Reach out to them and offer them a sympathetic ear. Pray with them. Share this book or its ideas. Mainly, reflect God’s love to them, because ultimately that’s what we all need the most.

 

This book was provided to me for free in exchange for my honest review.

Creating a Bible Corner for Your Family

Creating a Bible Corner for Your Family- Parenting Like Hannah

My ladies small group Bible study saw an idea in one of the books we studied years ago. (I apologize to the author, but we can’t remember where we saw it!) The author suggested creating a special Bible study area in your home (for adults). I think she called it something catchy, but it works no matter what it is called.

This summer, we encouraged the children in my Sunday school class to make a Bible corner in their own houses. We studied the story of Creation and how God resting on the seventh day led to the Sabbath. While Christians worship on the first day of the week, we discussed how it is great for us to copy a few of the habits of the original Sabbath celebration.

You see, Sabbath was a time for people to take some real rest – not veg in front of a television or run around a baseball field. They sat or took short walks and read God’s words. They talked about God’s commands and plans with each other. They prayed to God. They quietly reflected on what God’s Words meant for their lives.

We encouraged the students to take a little time each day for a bit of “Sabbath” rest. Go to the Bible corner in their house and read the Bible, talk about it with their family, pray and even have a little snack while they do it. So what does a Bible corner look like?

In most homes, there is usually a room that is seldom used. It may be a living room or a guest bedroom. Find a comfy chair or a corner of sofa. You may want to add a puffy pillow or a throw if it is cold outside. Have an open Bible that stays right there all of the time. If your children are younger, consider placing a children’s Bible like the NIrV there also. Older children and teens might want a prayer journal and pen or a Bible journal in the corner.

We had our kids design a special snack plate to add a little pizzazz to the corner. We took ceramic plates from the dollar store and had the kids use acrylic paints and paint pens to create a design that reminded them of God, creation and the idea of Sabbath. We placed part of Psalm 119:103 at the top of the plate to remind them God’s words should be as exciting and “sweet” to them as honey would be. Here are a few of their creations in process…

Creating a Bible Corner for Your Family- Parenting Like Hannah DSCN2194_2 DSCN2185_2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Be aware your child’s plate will not be dishwasher safe. I tested some of the methods you see online and they probably only work with more expensive materials. I suggest placing another plate on top of this one for actual snacks. If you must wash it, I would be very gentle.

So grab your kids, a couple of Bibles and some other fun things and create a Bible corner in your house. If nothing else, every time you walk by it, you and your family should be reminded of where your focus should be. Who knows, you might improve everyone’s Bible reading habits, too!

Raising Missionaries – Tips From the Field

Raising Missionaries - Tips From the Field - Parenting Like Hannah

Evidently a lot of Christian parents want to raise their children to be missionaries. Every time I post something about missions or missionaries, my post views go through the roof. I am so excited that so many of you are not only dedicating your children to God, but encouraging them to go wherever the Lord leads them to share their faith and serve others.

Because I know the interest level is so high, every time I get the chance to talk with a missionary (or email one!), I interview them on what qualities, skills and attitudes have helped them the most in the field. A while ago, I asked a guy I grew up with who is now a missionary in Kenya what he thought. I loved his list, because although some of it may be intuitive, I think they may be things we take for granted and forget to actively teach our children.

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Tending Your Child’s Heart

Tending Your Child's Heart - Parenting Like Hannah

One of the things I love about the ministry of Jesus is that he saw past the actions of people and understood what was in their hearts. Their actions might have been sinful, but if they had a tender heart towards God, He forgave them. If their actions appeared godly, but their hearts were full of ugliness, Jesus would rebuke them.

We will never totally know the hearts of anyone other than our own. In Fighting for Your Child’s Heart, I gave you several ways to attempt to assess the heart of your child. Whether or not you feel you know your child’s heart, there are specific characteristics you want to do everything possible to firmly plant in the heart of your child. I am sure if you asked twenty Christians, you would get twenty slightly different lists, but here are the ones we worked very hard to grow in the heart of our daughter:

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