Some of you are shocked to learn talkative kids exist. You may have a houseful of children who grunt more than they talk and think saying,”Nope” is exhausting. If you are raising a talkative child though, you may have days when you wish he were just a tad less vocal.
It’s probably no surprise to you (and certainly isn’t to my family) that I am a talkative person myself. I never meet a stranger, and can usually coax conversation out of even the most reluctant teen. It’s probably why I studied education in college and love to teach!
While your talker may wear you out at times, you need to understand this is a child who is displaying her gift from God. A talker can become an amazing Bible class teacher. She can get total strangers talking about their faith without breaking a sweat. He can preach a sermon without major nerves. Talking is a gift from God, He gave your talkative child to serve Him.
Unfortunately, talking, when undeveloped and unfocused, can drive people away from God instead of to Him. Self-centered talking can cause others to keep things quiet your child needs to know to serve more effectively. Talking when developed without the spiritual, godly aspects can create an arrogant, materialistic speaker – using his or her gift, but not necessarily in godly ways.
There are 5 things you need to do if you are raising a talker.
- Avoid zoning out when your child is talking. I get it. You are on the second hour of a blow by blow description of her day. There are ways of handling over-talking that are better for your child than zoning out while your child continues to talk. Eventually, your child will realize she isn’t being heard and will be hurt. If this happens frequently, she will shut down and stop talking to you except when absolutely necessary. Zoning out can damage your relationship and cause a gift from God to go in unhealthy directions. If you can’t listen for a legitimate reason, schedule a time when you can give your child your full attention – and then keep your promise.
- Make sure your talkative child’s basic needs for love and attention are being met by you. Sometimes a child keeps talking because they have learned it is the only way to get even a little bit of your attention. If you zone out as they talk, they may talk even more in a desperate attempt to be truly heard. Make sure your child is getting lots of hugs, “I love you’s” and focused attention from you. Once your child’s emotional cup is full, you may find she doesn’t need to talk quite as much.
- Teach your talkative child to take turns. Talking without allowing other people to have a turn is not a conversation. It’s a monologue. Unless your child is being paid by a tv network, he really needs to learn how to converse and not hold the floor the entire time. Monopolizing the conversation constantly will eventually cause damage to your child’s relationships.
- Teach your talkative child to listen well. Being in a great conversation is not just allowing the other person to say something, but not really listening to what they say. To be effective in using their gift of talking to serve God, they are going to have to also listen well. Otherwise, what they teach, preach or counsel may be more harmful than helpful.
- Help your child develop his/her gifts. Just because your child is talkative doesn’t mean he knows how to be an effective public speaker. That takes training and lots of practice. Don’t forget though, even a talented speaker is useless to God if he or she doesn’t know what’s in the Bible. Knowledge and understanding, wisdom and discernment are keys to effective Bible teaching or preaching, too.
The next time your talkative child starts talking, remember these tips. God may have amazing adventures He has planned for your child – teaching and preaching His Words. God needs you to proactively Christian parent the talent He has given your child, so your child will be prepared when God wants him or her to speak.