How often do you see an article about a teen or young adult who has just murdered someone where the parent says, “I had no idea my child was capable of that.”? Almost every single time. As a parent of a now adult child, I will tell you that one of two things has happened. First, the parent is lying through his or her teeth to avoid the accusations of poor parenting. Or, two, the parent is telling the truth and honestly doesn’t know his or her child at all. Both are scary.
As a Christian parent, one of your God given responsibilities is to know the hearts of your children. Then to help those hearts long to follow God all the days of their lives. Is it easy? No. Is it possible? Absolutely. There are Christian parents (even in these post Christian days) who successfully raise children who are faithful, productive Christians as adults. They are intentional. They put in the necessary effort.
But most importantly, they spend the time to really get to know the hearts of their children. It isn’t always easy. It can change from year to year. A young child who loves Jesus and wants to please him can grow into a teen who rejects God entirely. But it doesn’t happen over night in the vast majority of cases. The parents had plenty of time to notice early warning signs of weakening faith and make needed adjustments.
You can’t do that if you don’t spend enough time with your kids. Or don’t have meaningful, spiritual conversations with them. Or watch their reactions as you discuss spiritual things. Or listen when they share what is on their hearts. Knowing the hearts of your kids takes time and effort. If you don’t invest in your relationship with them, you risk setting up a dynamic where you don’t realize their faith is weakening until it’s almost too late to make a difference. There’s always hope with God, but helping your kids is easier at the very beginning of any issue than when it is full blown.
Don’t become that clueless parent on the news reels. Know, really know, your kids.