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Christian Kids and Rewards

Christian Kids and Rewards - Parenting Like Hannah When I teach kids, I will sometimes challenge them to accomplish something or allow them to compete in some way. Inevitably, one of them will ask “What do we get?”. Parents, schools, even extra-curricular activities give awards for anything and everything. Some even reward children for doing the bare minimum of what used to be considered common good behavior.

While this is not an article on entitlement, too many rewards can create children who expect to be rewarded for everything they do. It can create laziness, because why bother to do your best if you are rewarded for any minimal effort at all. It can create pride and destroy realistic expectations of what one can achieve with one’s current skills and knowledge. They can even create an attitude that doing what is right or expected will only be done when the reward is present – remove the reward and the behavior disappears.

In short, too many rewards cause more problems than they solve. Yet, rewards persist in our society. There are actually some good things that can come from using limited rewards. In fact, whether you realize it or not, the Bible addresses the subject of rewards – especially in the New Testament. What can the Bible teach Christian parents about using rewards in healthy ways?

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Are Your Expectations for Your Kids Too High?

Are Your Expectations for Your Kids Too High? - Parenting Like Hannah A few weeks ago, I shared my thoughts on God’s call for perfection and how that should change us and how we raise our children.. There is another side to the story I also mentioned briefly in that post. Parents can not only have unhealthy expectations for their children, but those expectations can also be unrealistic.

I was interested to read of a new book Love That Boy by Ron Fournier. What would a secular journalist have to say on the subject of parental expectations? Would any of it apply to Christian parents? As it turns out, Fournier does have quite a bit of useful information to share.

Woven throughout the book is the story of Fournier and two of his children. Primarily, he focuses on his relationship with his son who is on the autism spectrum. Although he mentions a third child briefly, Fournier also shares quite a bit about his eldest daughter. In spite of her academic and other successes, she struggled with depression and even became suicidal at one point. Obviously, the author had a lot to process regarding his kids and his expectations of them.

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Mother’s Intuition: Fact or Fiction

Mother's Intuition: Fact or Fiction - Parenting Like Hannah When my daughter was getting ready to enter kindergarten, I asked her doctor if she should get the flu shot. He was an older doctor at a time when flu shots for kids were considered optional. He counseled she should go without, because catching the flu would strengthen her immune system. It felt wrong, but I gave into what I thought was the doctor’s wisdom.

Fast forward a few months, and neither my daughter nor I will forget the week long fever followed by several weeks of iffy health when she of course caught the flu. As I watched helplessly while she suffered, I was angry with myself for ignoring “my gut”. If only I had listened to my mother’s intuition, my child would not have gotten sick.

Was that my mother’s intuition which would have saved the day? Perhaps. But what about the many times I have probably long since forgotten when my mother’s intuition didn’t prove to be quite so accurate? Is a mother’s intuition really always right? Should our parenting decisions always follow our gut?

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