Want to hear something really scary? Observers have noticed something about most public justice systems around the world. The average police force operates on a 15-70-15 rule. Fifteen percent of the force is considered incorruptible. They have high moral standards. It doesn’t matter what bribes or threats others may make, these people in the moral fifteen percent will stay true to their moral standards.
The other fifteen percent is equally true to their standards. Unfortunately, their standards are the lowest – they are actively seeking bribes and other dishonest ways to increase their power and income. It doesn’t matter what rules or punishments the force has in place, this fifteen percent will remain corrupt.
And what about the remaining seventy percent? This is what I find the most upsetting. The other seventy percent is easily swayed. If they are placed with the ethical fifteen percent, they will generally react in ethical ways. If they are placed with the unethical fifteen percent, they too will begin looking for bribes and acting in unethical ways.
Have you ever watched a child almost dart in front of a car? Anyone and everyone will move heaven and earth to intervene and save the child’s life. No one stops to worry about who is watching the child or what the reaction will be after intervening. All anyone cares about is the immediate intervention needed to save the child from being hit by a car.
In reality, many children in our world are in need of intervention. Not just from abuse, neglect and starvation (although millions need that too). The children of the world need us to intervene so they will not become attached to Satan. Even in our churches most of our children will eventually leave God. Yet, we feel little need to intervene in some way. We assume children will pick up “God” by some sort of osmosis. Even the Church itself often provides parents with little more support than classes once or twice a week and an occasional fun activity.
Walk into almost any church and you will find boys with names like Caleb, Noah, Daniel and John. I would assume many parents chose those names in hopes their sons would grow up to become strong in the Lord, just like the men for whom they were named.
Unfortunately, giving a child a name of a godly person does not guarantee your child will be faithful. If it were, every child in most churches would have a biblical name! Parents have to do something more to set their sons on the paths to becoming heroes of faith. But what?
Raising Boys by Design by Gregory Jantz and Michael Gurian gives parents a blueprint for helping develop the character traits your sons will need to become the men God designed them to be. The authors use a combination of recent brain research, counseling experience and their own personal journeys to explain what most boys need and very few are receiving to help them grow to be godly men.
Sixteen months. Sixteen MONTHS?! Yesterday, my daughter completed the last AP exam of her Junior year in High School. Which means (Lord willing) she will be leaving for college in sixteen short months. I am not a doctor, but my guess is the number one cause for hyperventilating moms is realizing they only have a few months left to “finish” full-time parenting.
I know a mother’s job and influence continues, but the opportunity to impact your child on a daily basis ends for most of us when our child heads off to college. While that’s a wonderful, exciting time in her life, it can cause a bit of panic in mine. I picture myself trailing after her towards her dorm sharing vital tips of wisdom – “Remember to cook that at 350* for 30 minutes”, “Never take any wooden nickels” (A favorite in my family, although I’m still not sure what I was supposed to do!) and “Wash your brights separate from your darks, if possible.”
When your first child is about two or three years old, it seems like most of your day is spent in correction. In our house, it was the “terrible three’s”. I remember calling my dad during a particularly “no” filled day and asking if I would still have to punish her this often when she was older. He promised me if I were diligent at three, then the rest of her childhood would seem easy in comparison. He was right. After those crazy few months, our daughter has been delightful and punishments have had to be given only rarely.
At some point after the year fondly known as “establishing who the parents are”, we tend to go into more of a maintenance, correction mode. Most parenting books will tell you this is a result of establishing firm but loving boundaries when your children are young (for the most part!). Because rebellion becomes less common in our homes, we sometimes forget to train our children how to avoid sin and deal with ongoing temptations.