In “Letting Kids See the Ugly Side of Church“, I encouraged you to allow your older children and teens to witness ugliness when it happens in church. Whether it is a person who behaves in an overtly sinful way, a minister who trades the pulpit for his sins or a congregation involved in turmoil, ugliness in Christianity can upset even the strongest Christian. On the other hand, you can use what is happening to teach your children some crucial spiritual lessons.
The lessons which apply to the ugliness your child is seeing at church will vary somewhat depending upon what is happening. As you reflect with your children about the things they have seen and heard, it is important to let them share their thoughts and feelings with you first. Listen carefully to what they say. Encourage them to share how that makes them feel and what questions they have. Don’t panic at what they share. Knowing their doubts and concerns makes them easier to address. Just because your child doesn’t say his doubts and fears, doesn’t mean they aren’t there. It just means you will be less likely to address them.
So what basic principles should you share with a child who has seen Christians behave in ungodly ways? There are probably many, but here are some of my favorites:
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