Author: Thereasa Winnett

Thereasa Winnett is the founder of Teach One Reach One and blogger at Parenting Like Hannah. She holds a BA in education from the College of William and Mary. She has served in all areas of ministry to children and teens for more than thirty years and regularly leads workshops for ministries and churches. She has conducted numerous workshops, including sessions at Points of Light’s National Conference on Volunteering and Service, the National Urban Ministry Conference, Pepperdine Bible Lectures, and Lipscomb’s Summer Celebration. Thereasa lives in Atlanta, GA with her husband Greg, where she enjoys reading, knitting, traveling and cooking.

Fun Ways to Encourage Productivity in Your Kids

Christians are not saved by our works, but God expects His people to work and be productive. As soon as God created Adam, He put him to work tending the Garden of Eden. God himself worked on Creation for six days before resting on the seventh day. Our culture has reversed this pattern set by God, valuing “rest” over work, and no one is benefiting from it.

To be the Christians God wants your kids to be, they must bear fruit. They must do any work they do “as if working for the Lord” himself (Col. 3:23). They must “make the best use of their time” (Eph. 5:15). They must do good works (Titus 3:14). They must be productive.

Sounds terribly boring and hard, right? Thankfully, Mary Poppins was right – there are things you can do to encourage productivity in your kids that are actually quite fun. Here are a few of our favorites.

Cooking. Most kids love to help cook. Cooking also teaches other Christian life skills like patience, perseverance and following directions (I.e. obeying commands). Go the extra mile and serve whatever they help cook when you entertain someone or take the food to someone who would benefit from the food, the visit, or both.
Do a secret service project. Kids love to do things in secret. Have them help you plan and execute a project to serve someone without them finding out who did it. Make the project difficult enough that it requires some effort.
Plant something. Plants are low risk pets! Have your kids plant and care for flowers or vegetables. Let them choose what they want to grow and plan fun things to do with whatever the plant produces.
Encourage your kids to start a mini business. Most localities allow children to have lemonade stands or sell their art or beaded jewelry to friends and family without licenses. These little mini businesses are usually short lived, but teach your children some of the benefits of hard work.
Encourage playing a musical instrument or pursuing an art or craft. Let them choose something they will enjoy and watch as they joyfully work for hours doing what they love.
Encourage them to do something productive while watching media content. My parents had very strict limits on the amount of tv we could watch each day. In addition, though, they highly encouraged us to do something productive while we watched. It kept us engaged in the real world and often we stopped paying attention to whatever was on because we became so focused on the productive activity.
Have family chore times. Chores are a lot more fun when you are doing them with someone. And have the tunes cranked up. Working together also makes it easier to knock out those bigger projects like cleaning out a garage or basement.

Have fun with it, but raise productive children. The world and the Church will be better for it.

How Well Do You Know Your Kids’ Hearts?

How often do you see an article about a teen or young adult who has just murdered someone where the parent says, “I had no idea my child was capable of that.”? Almost every single time. As a parent of a now adult child, I will tell you that one of two things has happened. First, the parent is lying through his or her teeth to avoid the accusations of poor parenting. Or, two, the parent is telling the truth and honestly doesn’t know his or her child at all. Both are scary.

As a Christian parent, one of your God given responsibilities is to know the hearts of your children. Then to help those hearts long to follow God all the days of their lives. Is it easy? No. Is it possible? Absolutely. There are Christian parents (even in these post Christian days) who successfully raise children who are faithful, productive Christians as adults. They are intentional. They put in the necessary effort.

But most importantly, they spend the time to really get to know the hearts of their children. It isn’t always easy. It can change from year to year. A young child who loves Jesus and wants to please him can grow into a teen who rejects God entirely. But it doesn’t happen over night in the vast majority of cases. The parents had plenty of time to notice early warning signs of weakening faith and make needed adjustments.

You can’t do that if you don’t spend enough time with your kids. Or don’t have meaningful, spiritual conversations with them. Or watch their reactions as you discuss spiritual things. Or listen when they share what is on their hearts. Knowing the hearts of your kids takes time and effort. If you don’t invest in your relationship with them, you risk setting up a dynamic where you don’t realize their faith is weakening until it’s almost too late to make a difference. There’s always hope with God, but helping your kids is easier at the very beginning of any issue than when it is full blown.

Don’t become that clueless parent on the news reels. Know, really know, your kids.

Are You Accidentally Undermining Your Children’s Trust In You?

Are you a counting parent? Counting parents use counting as a way to try and force their kids to obey them. You know the routine. “Amy, I am going to count to three and then there will be a consequence if you haven’t obeyed me.” Children learn from this type of correction, but probably not what their parents were hoping.

When you don’t expect immediate obedience and follow through with consequences for open rebellion, you are teaching your children that you cannot be trusted. Yes, they are also learning they don’t have to obey you immediately – if at all. They learn your mood impacts your patience level. They are learning they can keep rebelling until the very last second. They learn a rebellious attitude is okay as long as you pretend to obey at the last second. They learn that consequences are usually idle threats.

But they also learn they can’t trust you. Why? Because your word is not reliable. It’s impacted by your mood. Your promises to give consequences for rebellion are regularly broken. Your “no” doesn’t really mean “no”. They can’t trust that the rules you tell them are put in place to keep them safe are really as important as you say, because you regularly allow them to be broken with no consequences or real correction.

Oh, they may not be able to verbalize this growing lack of trust in you, but it’s there. The next time you say obeying a particular rule is critical, they are a little less likely to believe you. The next time you tell them that breaking a rule is so dangerous, there will be consequences, they won’t believe you are serious. Their lack of trust in you begins to fuel a growing rebellious spirit.

We took a parenting class before our daughter was born that emphasized the importance of first time compliance. Children could appeal if there were extenuating circumstances, but in general were expected to obey immediately when told to do something. It’s critical, because one day their actual lives may depend upon it.

It’s also critical, because your children learn they can trust you. When you say something is important, you back it up with action when they ignore you. This trust builds over time so that when you teach them about God, they trust you are teaching them the Truth. That when you tell them they shouldn’t do something because it is dangerous, then it must really be dangerous.

The next time your children refuse to obey you, don’t undermine their trust by counting or ignoring their rebellion. Deal with it. If you want to Christian parent well, you need their trust. It begins with enforcing what you say consistently. Say what you mean and mean what you say, is great parenting advice!

Fun Way to Help Your Kids Think About Faith Journeys

Full disclosure. I can’t take credit for this idea. Our minister did it with our congregation Sunday, and I thought the idea was so great, I wanted to share it with you.

One of the ways to help your children become intentional about their spiritual growth is to introduce them to the idea of a faith journey. As you probably know, growth in faith can be like a long journey. There are ups and downs and bumps in the road. If you stay focused on where you want to end up, however, you can usually get there eventually.

Peter is a great example of a somewhat typical faith journey in many ways. He showed faith by following Jesus, when it was unclear what that would mean in its entirety. He continued to follow Jesus and learn from him along the way. He served others when the disciples were sent out by Jesus to preach and teach for a bit without him. He had the faith to step out of the boat and try walking on water towards Jesus. But he also had some colossal mistakes along the way. He took his eyes off of Jesus and started sinking into that water. He lopped off the ear of a Roman soldier. And of course he denied Jesus three times. Yet in the end, he preached to countless people, wrote two books of the New Testament (and possibly contributed heavily to one of the Gospels) and was martyred for his faith.

Call your kids together and tell them the story of Peter’s life. Explain the idea of a faith journey. Talk about the people that can help us grow stronger in our faith or encourage us to disobey God. Have colored strips of paper that you can use to make a paper chain. Encourage each person to think about their faith journey until this point in time. Have them write the name of a person or an event that has happened on their spiritual journey on a slip of paper and then link them together in order.

Have each person tell the stories connected to their links. You don’t want to rush this process, so this may take more than one session. Ask questions of those sharing. Why did that event make a difference? How did those people put themselves in a position to have an influence on the sharer’s faith?

After everyone has shared, have them create links for the future. What types of activities or people can help them continue to grow spiritually? Don’t forget to discuss the ultimate goal of spending eternity with God in Heaven. Many young people never hear that at church or at home and therefore think of Christianity as an activity or a set of rules with no “benefits” for them. (Or in this case, no arrival at the end of their journey.)

If your children already have a strong faith for their age, begin talking about how they can become a link in the faith journeys of others. What are some things they can do to help others grow spiritually? What are some things they can do that might hamper the spiritual growth of someone? Encourage them to become intentional about providing links for others in positive ways.

Have fun with it, but help your kids understand the importance of an intentional faith journey with an eye to the destination. While telling your stories, they can also see how God works in the lives of people and how Satan tries to throw stumbling blocks in their paths. Awareness can make their journeys more intentional and ultimately more successful.

Teaching Your Kids About Friendship Levels

As a Christian parent, you are probably teaching your children to be kind and loving to everyone. Which is absolutely what you should be doing. It’s important, however, to also teach them how to be discerning in their friendships.

While that sounds counter-Christian, even Jesus had different layers of intimacy with various people. He was closer to his Apostles than he was to other people. He had a special friendship with Mary, Martha and Lazarus. He wasn’t as close to Judas as he was to John. And there were reasons for each one of those choices. Of course he was closer to John, because he knew John loved him and he could trust him (as far as we know, John was the only Apostle at the crucifixion). Judas, on the other hand, was stealing money from their funds and he knew would later betray him.

While your children should be loving and kind to everyone, granting certain intimacies to the wrong people can hurt them in multiple ways. It can lead to betrayals that range from gossip to allowing themselves to be convinced to do things they shouldn’t (which can at times lead to injury, trouble with authorities or even death).

Discernment is a biblical principle. Hebrews 5:14 tells us that a sign of spiritual maturity is discernment – the ability to distinguish between what is good and what is evil. While the children who can cause your kids trouble are not necessarily going to rise to the level of evil, they can still cause them a lot of pain and trouble.

So how do you teach your kids discernment when it comes to friendship? It begins by teaching them about three levels of friendship.

Best friends. There is no limit to the number of best friends one can have. The trick is not in the number, but in the choosing. Best friends should be people your kids can trust to keep a secret. People who have their best interests at heart – whether it’s standing up for them or encouraging them to be the best they can be. Best friends are encouragers, supporters, nurturers. They can also be fun and have interests in common, even though those things aren’t mandatory. Of course the very best friends will be Christians. Why? Because if God is the most important thing in the lives of your children and their best friends, they will hopefully be operating from a biblical worldview. Having friends who understand why your kids make unpopular choices and make the same ones themselves can make the teen years so much easier for your children.
Friends. These are often people your children enjoy spending time with doing similar activities. Often they haven’t risen to the level of best friend because they haven’t known them long enough to know whether or not they can be trusted, they don’t have enough in common or they enjoy being together but your child knows they can’t keep secrets or aren’t supportive during tough times.
Acquaintances. This is everybody else. Your children should be kind and loving to these people – regardless. They shouldn’t do things they know will be hurtful to them. Some acquaintances may later become friends and some will stay at this level – and that’s okay. Jesus didn’t become close to everyone he met, but he was kind and loving to them, served them and taught them what God wanted them to know. Jesus didn’t need to be everyone’s best friend in order to help them get to Heaven.

Have constant conversations about friendship with your kids. Because at their age, friendships can help determine the choices they make that can impact the rest of their lives.