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Have you ever woken up “on the wrong side of the bed”? It seems like you just woke up in a bad mood and everything that happened for the next few hours just confirmed that your mood was the right choice for the day.

What if something happened that shifted your mood and attitude before it got a chance to become entrenched for the entire day? Would you have made different choices? Hurt less people? Done better at whatever you were doing that day? Been more pleasant? Had more joy?

Many kids start the school day off “on the wrong side of the bed”. They didn’t get enough sleep the night before and the morning in their house was chaotic. They may have even been yelled at multiple times or given consequences for when they return home from school. How easy do you think it is for them to learn and have healthy friendships when they start their school day in that frame of mind?

It doesn’t have to be that way for your children. There are five things you can do each morning that probably won’t take more than an extra 15 or 20 minutes – if that. If you can do them, however, everyone should start their day in a much better frame of mind and have a much better day.

1. Sit down at the table together for 15 minutes. I know, my daughter was not a breakfast eater either. That’s okay. That child can still sit down at the table and have something to drink for hydration. Studies have shown sitting down at the table for at least one meal a day has all sorts of positive repercussions for kids. Since dinners can be tougher, make the effort to have breakfast together – even if it’s just Poptarts!
2. Read a verse from Proverbs as your family’s theme verse for the day. This may take a little effort, but to make it easier choose the chapter each day that matches the date on the calendar and then read a Proverb from that chapter. Bonus points if you talk about what it means and how you can use that wisdom that day.
3. Pray over your kids. This can be done at the table, before they walk out the door or in the car on the way to school (drivers keep your eyes open please!). Make it short and sweet, but ask God to watch over them, bless them and help them to be who He wants them to be during the day.
4. Remind them “whose they are” as you say goodbye. A friend of mine sent her kids off every morning with a call to remember “whose they are”. It was a not so subtle reminder to be who God wants them to be. You can use your own words, but a reminder to make good choices during the day can’t hurt.
5. Give them a hug and tell them you love them. Even days that start off great can get rough. They need to know to their very core that you love and support them – even when they mess up. It is what makes them resilient.

Full disclosure. We didn’t always get this right when our daughter was little. The days we did though, just seemed a little brighter and less chaotic. Have trouble getting everyone up in time? The easy fix is to make bedtimes fifteen minutes earlier each night until everyone can get up and to the table on time. Miss a day or miss a few things for a couple of days? Don’t worry! Just start the next morning. You may just find you want to add this to your weekend morning routine, too!

As I write this, much of the country is being blanketed with snow and ice. The rest of us are just really cold! Spring may seem far away, but for some areas, in just a few weeks, the early Spring blooms will appear. It’s a great time to start a family service activity that will help your children work on their character as well.

You will need to gather a few supplies before starting. You will want some containers you can use as temporary pots. Have some fun recycling containers around your house like those for drink or food. You will also need some soil. While you can use the dirt in your yard, for best results you may want to purchase a small bag of soil that already has some fertilizer mixed in. Finally, if you cook using fresh fruits and vegetables, you may already have what you need, but if not, you will need a few grocery items listed below.

Start by talking to your kids about the various times in the Bible when people didn’t have enough food. Discuss the various ways people found food – usually by traveling to a place that had more food, by sharing with others, by a miracle or some combination of factors. If you want to focus on a specific story, Elijah and the widow in 1 Kings 17:7-24 is a good one to use.

Explain that even today, some people have problems finding enough food to eat. Some children live in families where their parents don’t give them very much food and the only food they get is when they are at school. It is important to help children who are hungry have enough food to be healthy. It is also a great way to serve them to teach them how to grow their own free food when they aren’t able to purchase it.

Explain that when we cook, we often throw away things that could be planted and grow us free food for the future. It takes a little while at first, but if you regularly plant these things when you use them, you will soon have a steady supply of free food. If you don’t have land to plant a garden or it is cold outside, many of these things can be grown in containers and indoors. (FYI: Home Depot sells great Meyer lemon and key lime trees that produce fruit in pots indoors.)

Here’s a partial list of some of the things you and your children can plant to grow free food. Please note that seeds in some hybrid fruits and vegetables will not produce plants or plants that produce fruit. If you have access to a farmers’ market, their produce often works best. For plants where you plant roots, most grocery store items will work fine.

1. Onions – plant roots you chop off
2. Celery – plant bottom you chop off (it’s a root)
3. Garlic – plant a clove and get a bulb of cloves eventually
4. Romaine lettuce – plant the bottom you chop off
5. Ginger – plant a small section, preferably with a “knot” on it
6. Herbs – place a stem of the herb in a glass of water in sunlight, once roots grow, plant in dirt
7. Potato – let grow “eyes” then plant each eye
8. Sweet potato – place toothpicks and put bottom off in water in a glass in sunlight, planting in dirt once a vine grows
9. Carrots – plant the leafy green top you chop off
10. Beets and other similar root vegetables – plant leafy top you chop off
11. Pineapple – chop off leafy top with a bit of fruit and plant (I’ve gotten a beautiful plant, but no fruit although some people also get fruit)
12. Seeds from things like tomatoes. Note that this process takes much longer and can be hampered if the seeds are from a hybrid.

If you really enjoy the project, there are more extensive lists and instructions online. Your family may also want to explore hydroponic gardening. Some missionaries in food deprived areas also teach a type of gardening that is combined with raising fish that is really fascinating.

Growing food from kitchen scraps can teach your children patience, perseverance, responsibility, a strong work ethic, generosity, a servant heart and other godly character traits. It also teaches them a practical life skill that will help them have free food should they ever need it, and allows them to empower those without sufficient food to grow their own food, too. It’s a great family project for any time of the year!

To me, one of the very worst parts of parenting was when my kid was sick. I hated to see her suffering and there’s often very little you can do other than try to minimize symptoms until they fight off the virus. Those first couple of days are rough, but what about the day or two when they aren’t quite well, but are feeling much better?

Do you rush them back to school and activities so you can get back to work or get them out of the house? A few of you don’t have a choice, but for those who can work from home or already stay at home, why rush your child back when he or she is probably still contagious? Instead, give the ailing child a little extra TLC and attention. Snuggle up and read a book or watch a movie (yup movies on sick days are not going to ruin them for life)? Sit by the fire and let them talk about anything and everything while they drink some warm tea. Lay down with them when they take a nap (because you’re probably sleep deprived too and have already been exposed to their germs).

While we are thinking about giving our kids more time and attention, why not think of times when they are healthy that you can spend some one on one time with them, listening, supporting, nurturing, teaching, coaching, encouraging, loving? Maybe everyone in your family needs to cut out one activity, so you all have more time together for family dinners and board game nights. The children in the Netherlands are supposedly the happiest kids in the world, and most attribute it to the fact that families eat breakfast and dinner together at the table, every day – regardless. It gives the kids plenty of time to get focused attention from their parents each day and parents an opportunity to catch up with their kids and talk about what they hope is truly important to their children – like being a faithful, productive Christian as an adult.

Make this year a retro year for your family. Bring back spending time together enjoying each other – not in the car running from activity to activity. You might be surprised how much happier and better your kids are.

For years, there has been a common saying told to mothers everywhere. Whenever a mom (for some reason, dad is never mentioned) is trying to decide whether or not to do something that impacts her children, inevitably someone will say, “Happy mom, happy child”. Is that necessarily always true? Is it really what is in the best interest of our children?

Not let me preface this post by saying I am not a member of the moms should be martyrs club. Even children can be selfish and may want to prevent their mom from doing something that won’t harm them in any way and will actually be good for both mother and child in the long run. It may even be exasperating because to you the choice should be a happy one for your child, too (like having a new baby).

Often, however, the saying has also been used to justify taking actions that will definitely cause pain to the child and worse yet things that are known to harm children. As Christians, we are told to consider the needs of others. There is no gospel message of putting your desires above the needs of others. God calls us to love others self-less-ly, not selfishly. What’s a mom to do?

I can’t tell you what to do in every instance where the desires of the mother and child don’t align. Even the same option. in two different families may have two different answers. What I can do, however, is share some things to consider as you encounter one of these “happy mom, happy child” type choices.

• What does God have to say about it? The Bible is great because, while it may not list every possible situation one may encounter in life, it does contain a lot of godly principles that can apply to a lot of different life dilemmas. If all else fails, read verses on parenting, love and selfishness v. service/love, etc.
• Pray. Not the “Please God let me have my way regardless”, but seriously asking God to give you the wisdom to make a wise choice that impacts your child spiritually in a positive way.
• Allow your children to voice their concerns… respectfully. This is important. Your children will do better in any situation if they feel respected and heard. They also need to learn to disagree with others in a respectful, loving way. If they start being disrespectful, have them go off by themselves until they can present their case respectfully.
• Consider their objections seriously. If they are communicating they are heartbroken over your choice, it is important to consider whether or not what you want is worth the pain it will cause them. Sometimes, you have no choice, but when you do, it is worth some extra consideration.
• Is there a creative way that both you and your child can be happy? We tend to think there are only three options in any conflict – your way, my way and a comprise where neither one of us is happy. The truth is there may be several other creative solutions that may leave both of you satisfied.
• Give your child permission to mourn and be empathetic during that time of mourning. If your choice is breaking your child’s heart, it is unfair to expect him or her to be excited about it – especially as excited as you are. If the loss is major in the mind of your child, he or she may have to mourn it as they might the loss of a friend or relative. Don’t try to force your child into happiness. It just causes children to be angry. Empathize with the pain your child is feeling.
• Remember your child is still a child. Yes, you want your children to consider what is best for you, too. It’s a bit unrealistic, however, to expect young children to be “happy for mom” that you are getting a divorce, moving a long distance, switching from a homemaker to a career outside of the home or making some other choice that greatly impacts their lives. Getting angry because they are not putting your happiness first is unfair.
• Sometimes what is in the best interest of your children is for you to sacrifice your desires for a time. Rarely is something truly a “once in a lifetime” offer. Often your desires can be deferred to a time when it will not be as disruptive to the lives of your children. I did not have our daughter until I was in my 30’s and I can promise you that most of you will have many years for second, third and even fourth acts after your children leave home. If what you want to do aligns with God’s plans for you, He may just catapult you farther and faster than if you had taken the option at a time that would not have been best for your children.
• When there is not a better option, take the time to explain as many times as necessary why you need to ignore their desires and do what you think is best. This can actually be a good lesson for them about how God answers our prayers at times (assuming your decision is not a selfish one, but an unavoidable or truly best choice). Sometimes parents, and by extension God, say no to a request because it is ultimately in the best interest of the child. Or it may be a situation where you were not actually given a choice in the matter. Regardless, your children should be told age appropriate information to help them understand your decision making process. It may not make the choice less painful, but it does teach them how to make godly, tough choices.

“Happy mom, happy child” is not always true and we need to stop pretending it is. Handling those situations with the love and care they deserve is what is in the best interest of your children – regardless of what choice you ultimately make.