Simple Ways to Point Your Kids to God

A recent Barna study found kids and teens who grew to be faithful, productive Christians as adults had been exposed to an average of about 2 hours of spiritual content a day.

Before you start to panic, the good news is that it doesn’t all have to be formal instruction (Note: Sending your kids to a Christian school, doesn’t remove the need for you, as their parents, to provide spiritual content for them.) Things like praying and having people over to eat count towards the total.

In fact, there are lots of rather simple things you can do to increase your kids’ exposure to spiritual content each day. Here are a few of our favorites.

  • Have faith conversations in the car. If you’re a parent, you probably spend a lot of time in the car with your kids. As you talk about life, make sure to point them towards God whenever possible. These spiritual discussions are a key factor in building a strong faith foundation.
  • Have drive by prayers. Don’t close your eyes if you are driving, but get in the habit of having short prayers motivated by things you see as you drive. Anyone can notice something and lead a drive by prayer for it.
  • Make time for family devotionals. You make time to read your kids lots of secular books and encourage them to read independently. Why? Because you have heard it will help them do better in school. Make an effort to read the Bible to your kids and encourage them to read it independently. Having a strong faith foundation is even more important than doing well in school.
  • Make worship services and Bible classes a priority. When you regularly skip church and Bible class for other activities, you send the message that those are things are good to do only if there isn’t anything better available.
  • Serve others and share your faith. Serving others and sharing your faith should be as much of your family DNA as your last name and your holiday traditions. You will initially do these things as a family. As your kids grow older, their individual service and faith sharing should be as common as what you do as a family.
  • Let your kids have their friends over. Hospitality is a major part of the home life of kids who grow up to be faithful Christians. It doesn’t have to be formal entertaining either. Letting them invite their friends to your house counts. So do visits by neighbors and extended family.
  • Do things with other Christian families. Don’t wait for your church to plan something organized. Meet another family at the park, take a hike with a group from church or grab a fast food lunch after church with others.
  • When you take your kids to a museum, look for sections covering cultures in the Bible. Many museums have sections with artifacts from the Egyptians, the Romans, the Assyrians, the Greeks and other cultures in the Bible. You may find lots of artifacts mentioned in the Bible like oil lamps, Torah scrolls, mummies (Jacob and Joseph’s bodies were mummified in Egypt), even some of the idols like Baal. (Note: In some museums, artifacts from Israel will be found in a section called Levantine or Levant culture.)
  • Take your kids outside. The Bible teaches us that creation points to God. Take your kids on a hike, to the beach, to an aquarium or zoo. Point out how amazing God is and how much He loves us.

Helping your kids build strong faith foundations and grow to their godly potential takes intentionality. Once you make the time though, the things you need to do are actually rather basic. Don’t let anything stop you from teaching your kids about God.

Family Faith Stories Your Kids Need to Hear

Teaching your kids about God requires more than just reading the Bible to them. Your children need to understand why Christianity is so important to you. They need to know what all of God’s commands and principles look like in real life.

One of the best ways to have those conversations is to share family faith stories with your kids. Children love to hear family stories. Why not make some of your family stories about the faith you and your family have in God?

So what are good family faith stories to share with your children? Here are some of our favorites.

  • Baptism stories. Not just of the baptism itself, but what you were thinking at the time. Share why you think it was important to be baptized. Explain why you are glad you became a Christian. Talk about how you felt coming up out of the water. Sometimes the details of a baptism can have funny elements to them and it’s okay to share those, too. In fact, those little fun details can make the more serious parts of the story more memorable.
  • Stories of times you were aware of God working in your life. Don’t let words like “luck” and “coincidence” creep into your family stories. God is still working in the world today. Give Him the credit He deserves when those amazing things happened in your life.
  • Stories of experiences that made you keenly aware of God’s existence. Often these stories involve an experience in God’s creation – nature – but they don’t have to be limited to that. Sometimes God is just as present in a beautiful piece of music or art or something else we usually attribute to humans. God gives us talents, so the results of using them are also part of His creation.
  • Stories of answered prayers. Stories of times when God granted your requests are important for children to hear. Perhaps even more important are the times when God asked you to wait or denied your request. Share with your kids how you learned of God’s amazing wisdom as time revealed why granting your request would not have been in your best interest.
  • Stories of your Church family helping you become more faithful. Many young people struggle with seeing the advantages of being engaged in Christian community. They see the problems people cause, but miss noticing the advantages. God wants His people to be part of a vibrant Christian community. Telling your kids stories of how fellow Christians helped you through difficult times, encouraged you or helped you grow and mature can help your kids understand why God wants them to be involved in a local congregation.
  • Stories of times when you learned obeying God’s commands really was best for you. Some of God’s commands may seem outdated to your kids. Yet, God meant those commands for all time. It’s crucial to show your kids how God will always be wiser than people.

You may have other faith stories to share with your kids and that is wonderful. Encourage other family members to share their faith stories, too. The more faith stories your children hear, the more they will understand how God works and why being a Christian is so important.

Words Matter – 5 “Positive” Things to Stop Saying to Your Children

The positive self esteem movement has created parents who build up their children constantly. Not just in the relatively benign, “Great job!” way, but more along the lines of “You are the most perfect child who has ever lived!” Now studies are finding these types of statements can actually do more harm than good.

We don’t think of the positive statements we make to our kids as capable of causing any damage to them. Yet, the wrong positive words can create inflated egos, a sense of entitlement and even extreme disappointment when they compare reality to their parents’ proclamations.

So what are some positive things parents should avoid saying to their kids?

  • That is the best ….. ever! All kids are great. Realistically though, less than 5% are going to be outstanding at any given thing. Making them believe they are going to be in that 5%, when it is obvious they are no where even close to that, sets up all sorts of issues for the future. It’s fine to encourage your kids. Look for specific things to complement like, “I love how you used so much color in your painting.” Or compliment them on their growth and improvement. You don’t have to pretend they are the best at something in order to encourage them.
  • You can do anything you put your mind to. I understand the intention of that statement. Hard work and persistence can sometimes help you achieve your goals. But there is also some realism involved. I never did learn how to swim well at all. Trying to make me believe I could be in the Olympics would have been borderline cruel (if I had believed it) and set me up for disappointment as I continued to struggle. Christian parents also need to make their kids very aware that God has a plan for their lives and they need to follow that. Even though they may be able to do something, doesn’t mean that it is best for them spiritually or in God’s plans for their lives.
  • You are better than him, her or them. Once again, as an adult I understand the message is to not engage in poor behaviors just because others have chosen to do so. What young people often hear though is that they are literally better than other people for some reason. If you do believe some people are more worthy of God’s love and your love than others, please do some serious soul searching. Don’t pass on those attitudes to your children.
  • They are just jealous of you. This is often said to comfort a child who has had a peer treat them badly. While sometimes it may be true, it isn’t always the case. This statement can backfire in any number of ways, if the real reason is something different. It’s better to have discussions about how God wants us to treat people who would consider themselves to be our enemies.
  • It doesn’t really matter if you… Fill in the blank – read their Bible, go to Church every week, pray, have Christian friends, participate in things that will help them grow spiritually… the list goes on and on. Downplaying the importance of working on their spiritual health and growth can cause young people to stop growing spiritually altogether. Some will even reject God as being unnecessary in their lives. Your kids should always hear you reinforce them when they want to do something to grow spiritually – even if it can’t logistically happen for some reason.

What parents consider positive words can cause damage to your kids, too. Think carefully before you speak positive words. They need your encouragement. They don’t need hyperbole or downplaying things that can help them grow.

Words Matter – 5 Types to Avoid in Parenting

He is a Hollywood star and author. The type you would easily recognize if you saw him out in public. He has been successful in multiple entertainment fields. Yet even now, in his mid 70’s, the words his parents said to him as a child still obviously haunt him.

Sadly, this Hollywood star isn’t alone. Untold numbers of adults are walking around deeply wounded by the things their parents regularly said to them as children. No matter how hard they try, they can’t seem to erase those hurtful tapes.

I’m sure most parents don’t sit down when they have a child and think of all of the things they can say to their child that will break him or her. They don’t look into their child’s teary eyes and think, “Awesome! I really hurt my kid’s feelings this time.” Yet, many parents repeatedly say things that are slowly breaking their kids into tiny little pieces emotionally.

This brokenness can negatively impact their self image, their relationships and even their spiritual lives. Sadly, most of these parents are probably totally unaware of the damage their words are causing. They may think they are just teasing their child or helping their child be “better” somehow.

So what are those words that break children emotionally? It’s important to remember, we all misspeak at times. Apologizing as soon as you realize what you have done and trying to make amends, can heal any cracks your words may have caused. What causes the deep damage is repeatedly saying these types of things to your kids.

  • You are…statements. These may be said directly to the child or the child may overhear their parent constantly describing them this way to others. Not the positive statements, but defining statements that are negative. For example, “You are so difficult”, “He is such a handful”, “She is so prickly”. If you are unsure whether or not the statements you are making are positive or negative, just don’t say them. Your kids are a mix of thoughts, feelings, words and actions. They don’t always align. A child who appears difficult may actually be a highly gifted child who no one is helping reach his potential, so he is bored out of his mind. When you repeatedly use “You are” statements, many kids begin to define themselves with that label – and sometimes only that label.
  • Complaining statements. Okay, we have all had bad parenting days. You know those days when you aren’t sure whether or not you or your child will survive their childhood. Or there may be things you want to do that aren’t practical at the moment because your children are still at home. If your children constantly hear you say what a burden they are to you, or how you can’t wait until they go back to school, they will begin to believe you don’t love them. Even worse in a young person’s mind, they will think you don’t like them. They will begin feeling unloveable and unlikeable. After all, if their parents don’t like them (and in a kid’s mind that’s part of the parent’s job), then who else can possibly like them?
  • Name calling. Stupid. Bad. Idiot. Klutz. Thunder thighs. Ugly names have no place in Christian parenting. Often parents view these as “pet names” used in “teasing”. They actually serve no purpose other than to demean. Your child doesn’t really think these names are funny on any level. (Even if they pretend to laugh along or begin calling themselves the name.) Don’t use them with anyone, but especially your children. (The Hollywood star’s parents called him “dumb dog” throughout his childhood.)
  • Cursing. Christians should avoid cursing for a number of reasons. When you curse at your children, they know it is a sign of anger and disgust. When they constantly hear you cursing at them, they feel they are disgusting – whether or not that is what you meant to convey.
  • Broadcasting your child’s weaknesses and mistakes to others. We aren’t talking about prayer requests for kids struggling with something like drug abuse. We are talking about posting on social media or telling everyone within earshot of the embarrassing things that happen to your kids. Or complaining about how they got in trouble for something in school. Or posting one of those posts meant to mortify a child that disobeyed. Kids need room to make mistakes and suffer consequences without feeling like the whole world now knows what they did.

If you have been guilty of using these types of words in your parenting, please stop. Apologize to your child. Look into getting you and your child outside help repairing your relationship and their self esteem if you need it. Don’t make the damage worse by continuing bad speech habits. Being kind in your speech to your children can give them the strength and resiliency they will need to live the Christian life.

How to Stop Everyone From Nagging You (A Special Post for Kids, Spouses and the Occasional Parent!)

Note: Tired of having to constantly remind others to do what they should be doing? Share the somewhat silly post below, then have a family discussion about the suggestions in the article. Why is having to be constantly reminded to do something, a possible sign of a “heart” problem? What needs to change in the ways you interact with one another?

Are you tired of everyone nagging you? Ever wonder why they don’t know you are already well aware of what they are constantly bothering you about? What if I told you there is a method you can use to eliminate almost all of the nagging people do that bothers you?

This method involves an exercise that will take a little work at first, mainly because you probably have several people bugging you about different things. It’s easy once you get the hang of it though, and will usually stop any future nagging as soon as you use it.

Step 1: Make a list of every person who nags you. Beside their name, list the things they are constantly bugging you about. This list needs to be very thorough or the method won’t work well.

Step 2: Accept that these things are very important to the person listed beside them. The reasons don’t really matter – you probably wouldn’t think they were all that great anyway. You just have to accept that the quirks that make them so lovable include an unreasonable expectation that you do these things consistently and in a manner they consider timely.

Step 3: Remind yourself of the Golden Rule – Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Is there a special possession you don’t want people to borrow without asking or perhaps even touch? Or something you are having to constantly remind others to do because it is important to you? Would you want them to respect your wishes, even if they thought you were being silly about it? Then you need to give the people that are nagging you the same respect about the things that are important to them.

Step 4: This step is crucial. Get up right now and do everything on that list. If it is something that needs to be done on a regular basis, do it immediately whenever the opportunity arises (like putting dirty clothes in the hamper).

That’s it! Repeat the exercise whenever you notice someone has begun nagging you. If you are really paying attention, you can complete the exercise before they even have a chance to nag you. That generally leaves them speechless for a time.

Remember, as unreasonable as others’ requests may seem, they are critically important to them. You will most likely never convince them those things are optional or unimportant. Your time is better spent completing the exercise, thereby giving yourself the peace you so richly deserve!