Faith Development – Parenting Like Hannah

Prayer Tips for the Anxious Child

As a Christian parent, you know prayer can calm jangled nerves, because you have experienced it yourself. Part of that calming though is because you have experienced years of God answering prayers and have developed a trust that God will do what is best for you – even if it means saying “no”. While your children’s faith is strong in its own way, it may struggle from lack of experience when times are really tough.

You may have had a conversation when your child expresses anxiety about something. Perhaps you counseled your child to “pray about it”, and your child responded he/she had been praying, but was still worried. Thankfully, there are things you can do that will help your child more quickly gain the trust in prayer that often comes after years of experience.

Here are some of our favorite ideas.

Prayer worry box. Have your child decorate a small container. Whenever a worry arises, have him/her write or draw it on a slip of paper. After praying to God about the concern, place the paper in the container and seal it. Remind your child that worry has been turned over to God to handle and the child can release it fully to God. (Note: Some children may have to do this multiple times at first.)
Praying scripture. Teach your kids how to find Bible verses that express what they want to say to God. Many will be found in Psalms, but they are scattered throughout scripture. Then encourage them to pray these verses as long as they remain applicable to their current situation. This has the added value of helping them memorize scripture and place it in their long term memories for the future.
Prayer journal. Have your kids decorate a journal for the family or a personal one (school notebooks make inexpensive journals). Then have them record their prayer requests and God’s answers as they become clear. Periodically review past requests to see how God worked – especially in situations when God answered “no” and it later became clear that it really was the best answer.
Prayer walks. Two stress reducers in one. Take a long walk with your child, praying out loud or silently as you walk. Encourage your child to have a real conversation with God instead of just listing requests.
Gratitude prayers. Anxiety can be heightened by focusing on the negative – or potentially negative – things that can happen in life. Making an intentional effort to spend time in prayer thanking God for His many blessings can be an important reminder of God’s love and care.
Asking grandparents and trusted Christian adults to pray for them. When our daughter was little, she was convinced that one of my friends from church was an effective prayer warrior. Whenever something was really concerning her, she would make sure “Miss Suzy” was praying about it. Suzy was also great about letting her know she was praying about it and asking her for regular updates until she was convinced the need had passed for that particular request.
Share your prayer stories. Tell your kids about the times you were anxious and prayed to God about it. Explain how it comforted you. Tell them how God answered the prayer – especially if you were initially disappointed with a “no” and then realized God had been protecting you from the answer you wanted. Your kids will catch your faith – or lack of faith – in the power of prayer, so be intentional about setting a good example.

Prayer is a lifelong tool for helping your kids stay close to God. Helping them develop a string prayer life when they are young, will make it much more likely they will turn to prayer rather than less healthy coping techniques when anxious.

Through What Are Your Children Filtering the Things They Are Taught?

Let’s say your children are told a new bit of information…. “Dogs prefer green jello.” Your kids need to decide whether or not this information is accurate, true, important and worth storing in their brains long term. Since most of us are bombarded with a flood of new information all day, they need to find a way to make the process faster.

This is where the idea of filters enters the picture. Filters can include previous knowledge – like perhaps your family has owned three dogs – none of whom would even eat jello. One major filter is someone’s worldview. A worldview is a philosophy of life through which everything is filtered. So, for example, if I have a Christian worldview and I read somewhere that something happened because of a prayer to an idol, I will automatically classify that information as false because a Christian’s worldview holds that idols have no power.

Worldviews can be tricky – especially for young people. A teen might honestly believe he or she has a Christian worldview while actually having a different one entirely. So what are some popular worldviews? Christian, Deism, Naturalism, Nihilism, New Age, Postmodern, Humanism, Islamic and many more are the worldviews your children may be adopting.

So how do you know if your children have a Christian – or as some call it – a biblical worldview? Definitions vary slightly, but most would agree that someone who truly has a Christian or biblical worldview has the following beliefs:

Absolute moral truths exist
Moral truths are defined by God in the Bible
Jesus is the son of God and lived a sinless life
God is the Creator, all powerful and all knowing and is still active in the world today
Christians are commanded to share their faith with others
The Bible is true, reliable and accurate in its teachings
Salvation cannot be earned, but is a gift from God
Baptism by immersion is necessary for the forgiveness of sins and to receive the gift of the Holy Spirit
Satan is real

Do you know whether or not your children believe these statements? If they don’t, you have a short amount of time to teach them and mentor them. Most scholars believe a person’s worldview is set before adolescence and is pretty difficult to change after the early adult years. Make sure your kids aren’t accepting a worldview that isn’t Christian or biblical. If all the philosophical conversations they are having are at school or with peers, they may be developing a worldview that will ultimately destroy their faith.

Top 5 Christian Parenting Hacks

Parenting is tough. Christian parenting is even tougher because you are parenting against your culture in many ways. The stakes are so high, the pressure can become overwhelming at times. Parents often want to know what are some basic things they can do to start their family down the right track. There are probably dozens of things that can help, but which will make the most difference if you feel lost in a maze of parenting advice?

My list might change slightly if you ask me again tomorrow, but here are five great things to get your Christian parenting on track.

Daily family devotional times. You can’t go wrong spending time together reading scripture, discussing it and praying together as a family. If you haven’t been doing this, it’s okay to start small. At the same time every day (and connected to something you always do, like a meal), start with reading a verse or two, asking your kids what it means and how they can use the verse that day and praying together.
Attending worship and Bible classes weekly and in person. This is crucial for so many reasons. If you are regularly missing worship services and Bible classes or only watching online, your kids aren’t going to have the strong faith they need to make it through life.
Sleep 9-12 hours a night. That’s right. Even through the teen years, your kids need an average of 9-12 hours of sleep a day. They will make better choices, have improved moods and your job will be easier. Want to really improve things? Get 8-9 hours of sleep a night yourself. Everyone can take naps if they need extra hours, but I promise sufficient sleep can be transformative.
Eating daily meals together as a family and periodically with family and friends. One of the Nordic countries believes their children never stray far from the beliefs of their parents. Why? Breakfast and dinner are eaten together at the table, as a family. Every day. Regardless. Secular studies show that kids who eat daily meals with their families are much less likely to participate in high risk behaviors. Want to raise kids to be faithful, active, productive Christians? A study found that one of the keys is hospitality. It doesn’t have to be fancy. Having your children’s friends over or extended family counts. Just open your doors to others on a regular basis.
Long daily family walks. Want kids who are healthier, happier and talk to you more? Take a long daily walk together. A social worker I met called these walks “magical”. Aim for about 5k or 3 miles to also benefit things like sleep. If you can’t go the distance yet, even a few blocks can start yielding minor benefits.

If you feel like you are struggling with your parenting, starting with these five basics can help you get on track. Then search our blog for other topics where you could use some additional advice. You can raise faithful, productive Christians!

4 Ways You May Be Teaching Your Kids That Christianity Is a Spectator “Sport”

If you’ve ever known a really serious sports fan, you know they often talk as if they actually play on the team – or at least coach it! In reality, they have absolutely no impact on the game with their cheering and backseat coaching from home and only a minimal impact in the stands. It may be a spectator sport, but the real players are the ones on the field, participating in the action.

Unfortunately, many Christian families have turned Christianity into a spectator sport. They want to claim participation in hopes of getting any benefits from identifying with it, but don’t really want to get all sweaty and dirty actually living the Christian life.

Unfortunately, God does not condone spectator Christianity. Rather, He calls Christians to a life filled with obedience, service and activity. It doesn’t earn us a spot in Heaven, but active, full participation is necessary to meet God’s expectations of how we are to live our lives.

Parents may unknowingly be teaching their children Christianity is a spectator sport by their choices. Here are the four most common ways.

Attending church online instead of in person. Nothing screams spectator more loudly than watching it on a screen. While there are times when virtual worship and classes can be a blessing, fellowship is a key part of the design of church created by God. Your kids need to be in the building with other Christians as often as possible.
Skipping church for more important things. Do you allow your kids to skip Sundays for sports or other activities? Does your family skip on vacation? Every time you skip, you are implying worshipping and obeying God is optional and only if you don’t have something better to do.
Acting like a professional critic after worship or classes. It’s one thing to discuss theological differences and quite another to constantly critique song choice, appearance, flower arrangements and all of the other elements as if you were a professional paid to do so. When you constantly criticize, you are implying worship and classes are for your entertainment and should meet your expectations for what that means, not for humbly worshipping God.
Not living your faith and failing to teach your kids about God at home. Does your Christianity stay at the church building? Then you may be teaching your kids that it is a social club and not a lifestyle with everything that encompasses as far as God is concerned.

Don’t raise spectator Christians. Raise children who are active, productive Christians.

7 Things Your Kids Need This Summer

Summer is quickly approaching and your family is probably finalizing plans for how you will spend those few weeks out of school. Many of you will fill every waking minute of your children’s time with camps and other organized activities. While those things can be good, there are seven things which your kids need more this summer.

Time to be bored. Boredom encourages your kids to process what they have been learning, dream godly dreams and be creative. Take away the devices and provide supplies for crafts, library books, plain paper or notebooks, pencils, pens and free time. If not used wisely, feel free to offer to substitute free time with extra jobs around the house!
Quality time with you. Did you know most parents only interact with their kids for a few minutes a day – primarily with logistical conversations? Your kids need lots of quality time with you listening to them and giving them coaching and counseling where needed. They need you to be totally present and engaged with them for hours, not minutes.
Daily time with God. Summer is a great time to help your kids establish lifelong habits of daily scripture reading and prayer. Those two habits are disciplines that will help them stay healthy spiritually.
Time walking in nature. Long walks in nature are phenomenal for mental and spiritual health. Taking them together can also give you more quality time.
Time serving others. In a selfish world, your children will easily become self centered and entitled. Regularly serving others in ways that allow them to also hear the stories of those people will encourage softer, others focused, servant hearts.
Time doing manual labor. Over scheduling means many kids aren’t learning how to work hard doing things that aren’t necessarily fun – a skill often needed to succeed in careers and ministry. You can add an element of fun, but it won’t hurt your kids to help you with household jobs that require more effort than putting food in a pet’s bowl.
Time learning Christian life skills. A lot of the things God requires of Christians are much easier if your kids have the skill sets to do them well. Things like conflict resolution and budgeting can make loving others and generosity easier. We have a free curriculum on our website, Living the Christian Life, with lessons for you to use.

Don’t make this summer another blur of too many activities and not enough time spent being intentional about helping your kids be healthy mentally and spiritually. Give them what they really need.