Faith Development – Parenting Like Hannah

Spiritual Disciplines for Your Kids

As a Christian parent, you may or may not have heard of the concept of spiritual disciplines. Periodically, it gets some focused attention in various circles, but doesn’t seem as popular as it may have been in the past. For those of you new to spiritual disciplines, they are practices Christians have participated in since the beginning of Christianity. Many Christians believe these disciplines will help them become more like Jesus and more pleasing to God. The lists vary from person to person, but they all have in common things that are commanded or modeled in scripture, like prayer and Bible study. While the term “spiritual disciplines” is not found in the Bible, the individual practices on most lists are found in scripture.

The problem with these disciplines is that they don’t always come naturally. At least not doing them consistently and constantly. Perhaps it is because often Christians don’t try to start making them habits until they are adults. What if we spent more time helping our children develop these disciplines when they are young? Would they be able to be more consistent and benefit spiritually from doing these things regularly?

Part of the problem I would imagine many parents would have is that most of these disciplines sound very adult in nature. I believe, however, that they can be tweaked in such a way that they are appropriate for even very young children and can help them develop healthy spiritual habits while it is still relatively easy.

Over the next few weeks, we will spend one post a week going into more depth about specific disciplines and how to get your children started in participating in them. (Our other post each week will feature other topics, tips and activity ideas.) For now, here is the list we will be using,

Prayer
Bible study, including reading, memorizing and meditation.
Fasting
Worship
Service
Fellowship
Solitude
Confession
Giving
Hospitality
Simplicity
Reflection
Stewardship
Evangelism
Gratitude

As you look at this list, in which spiritual disciplines do you personally participate in consistently? With which do you struggle? How could these disciplines help your own spiritual growth and health? That of your children? Join us next week as we begin taking a closer look at individual disciplines and adapting them for children and teens.

Fun Way to Help Your Kids Think About Faith Journeys

Full disclosure. I can’t take credit for this idea. Our minister did it with our congregation Sunday, and I thought the idea was so great, I wanted to share it with you.

One of the ways to help your children become intentional about their spiritual growth is to introduce them to the idea of a faith journey. As you probably know, growth in faith can be like a long journey. There are ups and downs and bumps in the road. If you stay focused on where you want to end up, however, you can usually get there eventually.

Peter is a great example of a somewhat typical faith journey in many ways. He showed faith by following Jesus, when it was unclear what that would mean in its entirety. He continued to follow Jesus and learn from him along the way. He served others when the disciples were sent out by Jesus to preach and teach for a bit without him. He had the faith to step out of the boat and try walking on water towards Jesus. But he also had some colossal mistakes along the way. He took his eyes off of Jesus and started sinking into that water. He lopped off the ear of a Roman soldier. And of course he denied Jesus three times. Yet in the end, he preached to countless people, wrote two books of the New Testament (and possibly contributed heavily to one of the Gospels) and was martyred for his faith.

Call your kids together and tell them the story of Peter’s life. Explain the idea of a faith journey. Talk about the people that can help us grow stronger in our faith or encourage us to disobey God. Have colored strips of paper that you can use to make a paper chain. Encourage each person to think about their faith journey until this point in time. Have them write the name of a person or an event that has happened on their spiritual journey on a slip of paper and then link them together in order.

Have each person tell the stories connected to their links. You don’t want to rush this process, so this may take more than one session. Ask questions of those sharing. Why did that event make a difference? How did those people put themselves in a position to have an influence on the sharer’s faith?

After everyone has shared, have them create links for the future. What types of activities or people can help them continue to grow spiritually? Don’t forget to discuss the ultimate goal of spending eternity with God in Heaven. Many young people never hear that at church or at home and therefore think of Christianity as an activity or a set of rules with no “benefits” for them. (Or in this case, no arrival at the end of their journey.)

If your children already have a strong faith for their age, begin talking about how they can become a link in the faith journeys of others. What are some things they can do to help others grow spiritually? What are some things they can do that might hamper the spiritual growth of someone? Encourage them to become intentional about providing links for others in positive ways.

Have fun with it, but help your kids understand the importance of an intentional faith journey with an eye to the destination. While telling your stories, they can also see how God works in the lives of people and how Satan tries to throw stumbling blocks in their paths. Awareness can make their journeys more intentional and ultimately more successful.

Fun Family Devotional on Priorities (Especially on cool days!)

Your children will make thousands of decisions in their lifetime. Often their choices will be informed by their priorities. What is most important to them will often sway their decisions. While you want their top priority to be pleasing God, if you aren’t careful, other things can creep in ahead of God. There is a fun family devotional you can do to begin a discussion about priorities.

Before you begin you will need the ingredients to make a lentil stew. You can use any recipe, but this one claims to be somewhat authentic. (Note: If your children aren’t used to these spices, you might want to adjust the recipe slightly.) For extra fun, have your kids help you make the stew. While you are eating, share with them the story of Jacob and Esau in Genesis 25:29-34.

Ask your children what would have made Esau give up something as important as his birthright for a simple bowl of stew. Point out that Esau would have gotten twice the inheritance of Jacob as well as being the ancestor of Jesus (whether he knew it or not) had he not traded it for a bowl of stew. Ask your children what Esau’s priorities were when he made that important choice? Was he taking a short view or a long view of life when he traded it away?

Explain to your children that if your priorities aren’t right, you will often choose what seems best in the moment. You forget to think about how the decision might impact you over time. Often that leads to making poor choices. Explain that in your family, the top priority is pleasing God. You hope that it will always be their top priority, too. Ask them to think of choices people make that they might make differently if their top priority is pleasing God.

End your meal and conversation with a pray, asking God to help your family always keep pleasing Him as your top priority. Pray that he helps you make wise decisions by always considering what He would want you to do. Revisit the topic of priorities, short and long term thinking and making godly decisions regularly. Help equip your kids to make godly decisions their entire lives.

Surprising Personality Traits That Can Make Being a Christian Harder

Christian parenting is never easy, but some children are born with personality traits that just make it a bit easier for them to obey God. How much of the original trait is nature versus nurture will probably be debated for many more years to come, but you have to parent the child you have in front of you. So a child (often the oldest) who is more compliant and willing to obey rules, for example, is going to find it much easier to obey God’s commands than a child who is born with a rebellious streak.

Mind you anyone, with any personality traits, can become a strong Christian. Look at Peter and Paul. Both would probably have been considered to have difficult personalities at times, yet they are two of the most well known and perhaps productive Apostles. If your children have traits that may make it difficult for him or her to live a Christian life, with lots of teaching, coaching, correction and redirecting, they can not only overcome the tendency making it difficult for them, but also turn it into a strength.

Don’t believe me? Have you ever seen a stubborn child? You know the one who just won’t budge about anything, but digs his or her heals in even harder? With a lot of work from engaged Christian parents, that stubbornness can become perseverance – a critical Christian character trait!

So what are some of the personality traits you may have to help one or more of your kids to overcome in order for it to be easier for them to obey God? Here’s a partial list to get you started.

Risk takers. These kids live for risky endeavors. They’re the ones that often believe they will never experience negative consequences for their risky behaviors. If God says getting drunk is a sin and you give them fifty practical reasons why it isn’t good for them, but someone dares them to get drunk, well…… If you work with this child long enough though, that risk taking can be challenged into a willingness and desire to go into the tougher mission fields or ministry areas often neglected by Christians who prefer a little more safety and security.
Pleasure seeking. This one can be tricky to spot because who doesn’t like a great meal or a manicure or a new outfit. The problem is when the pleasure seeking becomes a top priority and the attitudes become more like selfishness and entitlement. The flip side of this one is tough, but perhaps that seeking of pleasure can be turned into a passion for helping Christians live out Philippians 4:8.
Materialistic. These kids are all about money and stuff. Flipped and it can become a passion for generosity – earning money to help other people get the stuff they need but don’t have access to.
Impatient/Angry. These have all sorts of negative consequences. The antidote is forgiveness, but it can take a lot of work as a parent to teach angry children to forgive. Flipping it is threading a very fine needle because people often take this out of biblical context, but working to right injustices is a way to channel passion into something other than impatience and anger.
Poor impulse control. This one is so important that even secular experts encourage parents to spend a lot of time working with their children on impulse control. The flip side? These kids are quick, they just need to learn how to make godly choices quickly before saying or doing anything…that’s the control part. If they can master that, they can become those Christians that quickly jump in during a crisis and start making things better for those involved.
Talkative. The Bible tells us a lot of sins come out of our mouths. This is one of those issues that can have a huge positive impact when flipped. These kids are potential teachers, ministers and other people who speak publicly about God. They are not as afraid to share their faith because they are also often extroverts. They may also write great Christian books because they often learn how to speak and write well.
People pleasing/popularity seeking. Some kids have a strong need to be popular, to have tons of “friends” or to make others happy even if what the others want isn’t godly or wise. This has some roots in self esteem, but can also be flipped so the child has a wonderful servant heart and wants to share the Gospel message with others because it is in their best interest.
Critical. Nobody may like a critical person, but moderated with a loving godly heart and these are the people that notice issues before they cause too many problems. They can notice the leak before it ruins the proverbial building. They just need to learn how to phrase their critiques so they will be heard and heeded as useful.

If you see some characteristics of your children on this list, don’t panic. They can become like Peter and Paul, but you and they and any other Christians you can enlist may have to put in the time and effort to turn those traits that can pull them away from God into ones that help the Kingdom.

What Will Distract Your Kids From God?

The devil isn’t going to walk up to your kids dressed in red and carrying a pitchfork. He might not even get them enmeshed in a some sin from which they find it difficult to extract themselves. If you are familiar with the works of C.S. Lewis, however, you know often Satan uses more subtle tricks to move us away from God. One of those tricks is to distract your kids so that God – and obeying and serving Him – slips their minds.

It’s not that they forget God exists or even stop believing in Him. They just don’t think it’s that important to obey Him, serve Him or make Him happy. They think they have a free pass to Heaven and can do whatever they want because God has become a very low priority in their distracted state.

So what will distract your kids from being who God wants them to be? I wish I could tell you and give you a full proof battle plan to protect them. The truth is that each of your kids will be potentially distracted by different things. Some will be distracted by the bad things that happen when one lives in a fallen world. Others will be distracted by so called good things, like money or fame. Others will become distracted with their jobs, sports, leisure activities and even family.

Part of the way you can teach your kids to avoid becoming distracted is to let them know that it can happen so innocently and subtly that they may not even realize it is happening. Talk about the areas in which each of them feels they could be vulnerable. Discuss ways of noticing for themselves and for others in the family when someone is becoming distracted. Figure out ways to get back on track when one of you realizes you have been distracted for a time.

Don’t let Satan win your children away from God by the easiest and most subtle trick he’s got. Protect them by preparing them. Sometimes awareness is the best prevention of all.