Service – Page 4 – Parenting Like Hannah

Everything You Need to Know About Chores for Toddlers and Preschoolers

One of the biggest complaints I hear from employers is that many of their employees lack a healthy work ethic. While we tend to associate the problem with Gen Z, it’s actually pervasive in every age group. The Bible tells us that God expects Christians to work “with all your heart, as (if) working for the Lord, not for human masters”(Colossians 3:23 ESV) – one of several passages in scripture about God’s expectations of His people regarding work.

No matter what careers or jobs your children may have, their bosses and managers will expect them to work hard – especially if they want to get raises and promotions. Even if they don’t hold a job that pays, your kids will need to work hard at school, in their extra curricular activities and even when serving others and sharing their faith. Idleness and laziness aren’t good for your children spiritually, emotionally or even physically.

Establishing a strong work ethic in your children – like many things in parenting – is easiest if you start them as early as possible. Think of it as early intervention for laziness! One of the easiest ways to work with toddlers and preschoolers on a good work ethic is by giving them chores to do around the house. Not only will chores give you an opportunity to correct a poor work ethic, but they will also provide opportunities for teaching responsibility and numerous life skills.

Historically, specific chores were given to specific children for a period of time. This made it easier for parents to track – especially if they had several children. One of the reasons I believe chores have become unpopular is that our children’s schedules are not as predictable as they may have been years ago when children had few activities outside of their home. If something throws off your child’s schedule, assigned chores may not be completed in a timely fashion – if at all.

One solution is to give your children chores on an as assigned basis. If you see something that needs to be done and your child is capable of doing it, then ask them to do it within a certain specific time frame. It gives you more flexibility and extra help when it is needed. The downside is that you have to be intentional about giving each child little jobs to do each day. If you have trouble tracking that, then the older way of giving out chores will probably work best in your family.

When does all of this start? As soon as your children have a few gross motor skills – like the ability to pick up and hand you items – they are ready for a few simple chores. For most children this is about the same time they are learning to walk, often known as the toddler years.

So what are some great chores for toddlers and preschoolers? Here are some ideas to get you started.

Handing you grocery items to put in cabinets. Set the grocery bags on the floor and let them hand you one item at a time. If you use low cabinets for storing food, some preschoolers may have the skills to put grocery items on your pantry shelf without much assistance from you. (Don’t let little ones handle raw meat packages and wash their hands after they are finished helping just in case.)
Laundry chores. Teaching colors? Let them help you sort the laundry, naming the colors as they go. Depending on the type of washer and dryer you own, many toddlers can take clothing and help move it from the washer to the dryer.
Dusting, sweeping and mopping. Toy brooms and mops for children sweep and mop almost as well as adult sized brooms and mops. Make sure you clear the surfaces you want your children to dust to avoid breakage. These chores require a few more motor skills, so your children may be in preschool before they can do them.
Help make their bed. Depending upon the age, size and skills of the child this may vary in meaning. Using a comforter makes it easier for younger children because there isn’t any tucking involved. Older children can help you make a fresh bed by perhaps putting a pillow in a new pillowcase or helping you smooth the sheets.
Put away their toys. Your house and their room will seem less messy and chaotic if you get them in the habit of putting away one toy before they take out a new one. (Note: Toy chests can be problematic because of their lids. Consider using open baskets or a closet or cabinet for toy storage.)
Dust baseboards. If your house is like mine, this chore goes to the bottom of the to-do list. Put socks on your children’s hands and let them have fun dusting baseboards.
Put dirty clothes, towels and linens in the hamper.
Wipe up spills. Their ability to do this independently will vary from child to child and with what has been spilled. They should never be asked to clean up hot spills or any kind of spill involving harsh chemicals like cleaning fluids.

Don’t forget that your children were not born automatically knowing how to do any of these chores. Teach them how you want the chores done. Always supervise young children doing chores – even if they are doing them well. Periodically talk about how important it is to always work hard and do our best at any “job” they are given. If you work with your children consistently, you are well on your way to giving them a great work ethic!

Please note that children should never be left unsupervised near any type of cleaning fluid and should not handle them – even if the tops are tightly fastened. It’s better to be safe than sorry. Call poison control if you even suspect your child may have come in contact with a cleaning fluid or ingested one.

Involving Your Children In Adult Ministry Projects

Talk to any Christian parent of adult children actively engaged in serving and ministering to others and they will tell you they involved their children in their ministry projects from almost infancy. Their children grew up serving and sharing their faith with others as much of their identity as other family priorities. Why? Because not only did their parents live their faith on a daily basis, they included them in their personal ministry in age appropriate ways as early as the toddler years.

Now if you weren’t raised in a home like that, you may wonder how it is even possible. How can parents include an eighteen month old in a project serving an inner city ministry or engage a three or four year old on a mission trip? It’s not only possible, but you may already know families doing that very thing who can help you do what they did. Until you identify them, here are some tips to get you started.

What things are your children capable of doing? Can they hand you items? Move things from one place to another? Clean? Paint? Code a computer program or app? Knowing your children’s capabilities can make it easier to involve them in ways that benefit both them and the ministry project.
What tasks are required to complete the ministry project? Older children and teens may be capable of completing tasks independently, while toddlers may only be able to assist you with one part of a task. When our daughter was barely over a year old, she would put cans from our church pantry shelves into a box to transport them to the urban ministry. Yes, I still needed to neaten them a bit, but she took an active role.
Teach them skills they can use to help. Relatively young children can help with tasks that are more advanced if they are taught how to do them and given practice. For things like sewing or computer coding, you can even pay someone to teach them skills that interest them, but you yourself don’t have.
Allow extra time and build in time for regular meals and rest times. The biggest mistake groups make when involving children or teens in service and mission work is that they push them too hard. When young people are hungry or tired, the behavior problems begin to surface and the entire project can become a nightmare. It’s better to take an extra few hours or days to complete a project with everyone well fed on healthy food and well rested. The results will be much better – both on the project and in making an impact on your children.
Let them help in the planning process. Families with young adult children actively engaged in ministry from childhood often report that their children can plan and execute sophisticated ministry projects as teens and young adults. Why? Because their parents involved them in the planning process as children. Start out by giving them two acceptable options between which they can decide and that are part of the plan for the project. As they grow older, give them more ownership of the planning process. By their teen years, most will be capable of planning and executing at least a simple service project if they have been involved in planning with you since childhood.
Let them meet and get to know the people they are serving as much as possible. Relationships make serving others more meaningful. Meeting and growing to love the people your family serves can lead to your children developing a passion for ministry that children who only do service projects where they never meet the people they served never develop.
Spend time in reflection with them after a ministry project. What went well? What would you do differently next time? Did you have the outcome you expected? Why or why not? How did you see God working within the project to change or modify it as you went? What additional opportunities did God give you? What roadblocks did you encounter? Were they from God or Satan? How do you know? What do you do in each situation? Reflection helps them understand the thought processes needed in enhancing ministry projects and accomplishing the goals God has for them.

Involving your children in your ministry projects takes extra time and effort, but it is worth it to raise children who are actively involved in serving others and sharing their faith as adults.

Fun Family Christmas Craft/Service Project

Someone at our congregation came up with a great idea that I think would also make a great service project for families. We were each given these supplies to create a Christmas ornament that features things that bring us joy – a show of gratitude. They will then be used to decorate the tree in our foyer.

Why not do something similar with your kids and decorate a table top tree for someone who needs a little joy in their life? You don’t have to use these supplies. You can even use paper if you prefer. Instead of ornaments about joy, why not expand the theme and make ornaments featuring all of the fruits of the Spirit? One side could be the name of the fruit and the other a verse or illustration of the fruit.

As you work, talk about the ideas you are using. Why are they called the fruit of the Spirit? How does having those qualities in our lives let others know we are Christians? How do we live each of them out in practical ways? How does the Holy Spirit help Christians have those qualities in different ways than those who aren’t Christians? What does it mean to fulfill the Great Commission and how does the fruit of the Spirit help us do that?

Hang your ornaments on a table top artificial, real or paper crafted tree and deliver it as a family. Don’t just drop it off and run, but spend a little time spreading holiday cheer to the recipient. You may find this becomes a favorite family tradition.

Fun Fall Family Service Project

When the temperature starts to drop a bit in the Fall, it’s a great time to get baking together as a family. The kitchen is a special place where children can start to relax and begin talking about whatever is on their hearts. A place where devices can be banned and everyone is having so much fun they don’t even notice. Where the results of your endeavors can not only feed your family, but serve others who may be lonely or food insecure. Best of all, you don’t even have to be a master chef to pull it off.

Call your kids into the kitchen. For the easiest Fall baking project, you will need one box of spice cake mix, one small can of pumpkin (usually on the bottom shelf in the baking aisle near fruit pie fillings at your grocery store), a mixing bowl, spoons and a muffin pan. (I recommend using muffin papers to lower the odds of muffins getting stuck in the pan.)

You can just do the baking as a service project, or turn it into a family devotional by telling them stories like Abraham entertaining three “men” (Genesis 18) or the widow feeding Elijah in 1 Kings 17:7-24. Either way, discuss as a family some of the people you know or know about that may benefit from being given some of your muffins. Your family may want to serve the food insecure, use them to cheer someone up who is lonely or sad or even thank someone who helps others, but rarely gets thanked.

Have your children take turns doing the various steps of the recipe (depending upon their age and the things that are safe for them to do). Open the cake mix and pour it into a mixing bowl. Add the can of pumpkin and about 1/2 to 2/3 of the empty can full of water. Mix and pour into the muffin papers in the muffin tin. If you have dry measuring cups, the 1/4 cup measure is about the right amount of batter to put into each muffin tin. The batter makes more than 12 muffins so unless you have a large oven and two muffin tins, it will take some time to use up all of the batter. Bake at 350*F until muffin tops feel a little firm or a toothpick comes out clean. (Because the batter is already dark, it can be difficult to tell if they are getting too well done.) Note: Checking to see if the muffins are done can be hazardous, so this should be done by an adult.

While the muffins are baking, your children may want to make cards for the recipients. If you want to add a little variety, but minor difficulty, you can purchase other flavors of muffin mixes. If your family has gone apple picking, you can add fresh peeled and finely diced apples (1-2 cups depending upon how much fruit you want in your muffins) to a cinnamon muffin mix to make apple cinnamon muffins.

Have fun with it. Enjoy spending time together baking. Deliver the muffins as a family. Talk about the experience and what you learned from it after it is over. It may just become a family tradition!

Christian Parenting and Tea Parties

If you have young children, you’ve probably attended several pretend tea parties thrown by your children. There’s just something about pretty food, tea cups, dressing up and acting like grown up royalty that screams fun to kids. You may have considered throwing a tea party for your children and their friends, but were intimidated by the ”fancy” part of it. The good news is that not only can you throw a tea party that is affordable and easy, but you can teach your children quite a few Christian life skills in the process. In fact, begin by giving your kids a budget for the party. Have them find ways to do everything they want for the party, but still stay within the budget. Take them shopping and teach them how to find bargains at the store. The better they are at managing finances, the more they will have to use to serve God.

So how can you make a tea party easy and affordable? First of all, it’s a rare American child who will like hot tea. Instead, fill their tea cups with lemonade or caffeine free iced tea. What’s a tea party without petit fours? They are not easy to make and bakery ones are expensive. Thankfully, someone has finally produced a frozen variety that is affordable. If you want your kids to practice patience and perseverance, try making your own. Make it easier by buying frozen pound cake and cutting it into small squares while it is not quite thawed. Then find a recipe for the pourable icing to frost them with. (It is thinner than standard frosting.).

Tea sandwiches? Teach your children some cooking skills they can use to serve others. Cut the crusts off of regular sandwich bread. Make a few favorite sandwiches of your children and their friends, then cut each sandwich into four triangles.

Hospitality is one of the attributes of a strong Christian. Discuss with your children whom they want to invite, but more importantly, how to make them feel comfortable and welcome in your home. This can also be a great excuse to review some basic manners needed at a ”proper” tea party.

Involve your children in the cleaning and decorating. They will learn responsibility and begin developing a strong work ethic (hopefully!). Chances are, you will even get to remind them of the Bible verse about doing everything without grumbling and complaining more than once! Help your children plan a few activities to keep their friends engaged before or after the tea party if they want their friends to stay a little longer. Talk about “considering the needs of others” and making sure they choose activities they know their friends will enjoy.

When everyone has gone home, “let” your children help with the clean up. It’s a great time to talk about working “as for the Lord” and how we all must do some things we don’t enjoy in life, but are necessary. While you are cleaning, talk about the party and what things you want to change or try the next time. It is a great way to begin teaching them how to reflect and make improvements in their lives and ministries.

Most of all, have fun! Be the house where your children and their friends want to be. It takes extra time and effort, but when your kids are teens, you will be glad you did.