Why a Stubborn Child Is a Good Thing

Why a Stubborn Child Is a Good Thing - Parenting Like HannahFirst things first. Let’s be really clear on the meaning of stubborn. Stubborn is not being disobedient and disrespectful – even when corrected. That is rebellion. Stubborn is not insisting on having your way – no matter what. That is selfishness. Stubborn is not continuing an argument forever because you are determined to be right despite the costs. That is being controlling.

Stubborn is what used to be called perseverance. We don’t use that word any more, and it’s a shame. Stubborn sounds ugly and often it is, because people don’t define it properly. Stubborn – in the perseverance sense of the word – is a wonderful quality you need to train your child to have. Perseverance is your child’s ability to stick to doing, saying and thinking what is godly, loving, pure, good, uplifting, giving and beautiful no matter the circumstances.

Stubborn is sticking to an important godly task and seeing it through until its completion. It is doing what God needs you to be doing for the Kingdom whether it is serving or sharing your faith – even when things get tough. Raising a truly, godly stubborn child will result in a child who:

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When Mom Has a Tough Day

When Mom Has a Tough Day - Parenting Like HannahEvery Mom has days from time to time that are tough. Some of them are really tough. Some Moms are in circumstances where they have more days that are tough than those that aren’t. So what can you do when you aren’t having any fun?

Holley Gerth’s new book What Your Heart Needs for the Hard Days: 52 Encouraging Truths to Hold On To may help. Ms. Gerth started her career at DaySpring, so she is familiar with writing to comfort people. This book contains fifty-two devotionals to help you through the tough days in your parenting journey.

Although not specifically written with mothers in mind, each devotional includes a theme verse and a short written encouragement of several paragraphs. She ends each day with several suggested chapters in Psalms for the reader to read outside of the book and a place to record special prayer requests and/or reflections after the devotional.

Full disclosure here – I am not a fan of devotional books. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with them, it’s just a personal taste thing with me. Having said that, I can see where this book could give many women that extra little boost they need to get through the day.

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Simple Ways Children Can Share Their Faith

Simple Ways Children Can Share Their Faith - Parenting Like HannahMy daughter has always been very confident sharing her faith. She easily shares her beliefs with people many Christians would consider “difficult to convert”. She started this at an extremely young age by just having natural conversations with her peers.

I started thinking about how we had raised a child that shared her faith so easily. Some may argue it’s a gift from God and in some ways it is. On the other hand, she is somewhat introverted and doesn’t necessarily gravitate towards having conversations with people she doesn’t know well.

Looking back, I do think there were a few things we tried to communicate on a regular basis that may have helped her feel more at ease sharing God with others. I am sure there are many things you could do, but here are some that worked well for us:

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God Is Not an Extra-Curricular Activity

God Is Not an Extra-Curricular Activity - Parenting Like HannahExtra-curricular activities for young children are a relatively recent development. A few decades ago, a handful of kids might have played ball, taken music or dance lessons or been in scouts. At the most though, you had something to do one or two afternoons a week for an hour or less. Boy have things changed!

Today’s children- even very young ones- have scheduling calendars to rival the most successful business person’s. Every minute of every day is scheduled tightly – from the moment they wake up in the morning until their head hits the pillow way too late at night. Dozens of books and articles have been written warning of the dangers of over scheduling your children.

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Every Reason to Stay

Every Reason to Stay - Parenting Like HannahA happy marriage is one of the best gifts you can give your children. Unfortunately, marriage – even Christian marriages – involve two sinful people living together. This means even the best of marriages have disagreements and tough times. If your marriage has issues – a lot of issues, you may be tempted to walk away.

Part of being a Christian is coming to grips with the difficult teachings of God. One of which is that God hates divorce. Oh, He makes a few exceptions, but in general it is obvious He wants us to stay married. Yet what do you do when it feels like you are at the end of your marital rope? How do you hang on for one more day when you believe that is what God would want you to do? Is your relationship even worth saving?

I don’t know the answers to your questions, but maybe I can give you some hope. Vicki Rose is a woman who looked like she was living the dream. Her husband owned a popular restaurant in New York City and they were part owners of the Yankees with all of the perks. Yet their marriage was an utter disaster.

Neither Vicki nor her husband were Christians when they married and God was not a priority (or really even a factor) in their relationship. Years of infidelity, drug use and selfish behavior left their marriage in shambles. Yet learning about God and His plans for them changed everything.

I won’t kid you, this is not a step-by-step how to save your marriage book. The author does mention at the end of the book a few major things she believes helped turn things around in their marriage, but they are very general. Turning their marriage around was not a quick nor an easy process. It actually took several years. What I do love about this book though is that it is as gripping as a novel, but can also give you some perspective and possibly even hope about your own marriage.

While the book definitely gives God the credit for the changes in the Roses’s marriage, the theology is a little off at times. My biggest issue is that in spite of being an avid Bible reader, the author failed to mention the importance of baptism in becoming a Christian (it is mentioned in every conversion in Acts.) There were a couple of other very minor things, but in general her thesis idea is correct – God can change lives and marriages.

I am in no position to give you specific advice about your marriage. All I can do is suggest you pray, search the scriptures, ask for solid Christian counsel and perhaps read this book to give you some additional hope. I truly believe it is God’s desire that we have solid Christian marriages. Maybe this book will give you what you need to keep working on yours with your spouse.