When I was in school and worried about a test, my parents would usually say, “Just do your best.” I knew they meant study, get help from my teacher if I needed it and try to answer the test questions in the best way I knew how to do. No one called this being a perfectionist or worried about our mental health.
Yet at some point, someone noticed there were a few people who took things to an extreme. They expected themselves and everyone around them to be perfect all of the time. So we started being told to “chill” a bit and not worry so much about being “perfect”.
Continue reading Is “Do Your Best” Bad Parenting?
Have you ever tried to find a book on Christian parenting? There are dozens of great ones on the market. Have you asked a parent – who raised children who are faithful, productive Christians as adults – what they did? Or did you attend one of our Christian parenting seminars filled with ideas and tips?
Many of those sources may have listed a few characteristics of a successful Christin parent. Maybe they emphasized love, patience or godliness. There are three qualities though that are often implied in Christian parenting advice, but rarely stated plainly enough for most people to understand their true importance.
Continue reading The Key Christian Parenting Qualities We Often Miss
Tantrums, hysterical crying, stomping feet – as a parent, you are probably familiar with the strong emotions children often have – and the many ways they can be expressed.
Unfortunately, the “natural” ways kids express their emotions are not always the most healthy and godly ways to process them. As a parent, you need to help your children learn how to process their emotions in ways that are pleasing to God, yet still healthy for them.
Continue reading Top Tips for Helping Kids Process Emotions
I once witnessed a group of adults telling some teens news they thought was great. From an adult perspective, it was wonderfully exciting news. As the news was shared, I watched as the teens clapped. They probably assumed it was expected, as the adults were cheering. The looks in most of their eyes told a much different story. The news made them uneasy and they doubted that it would indeed be positive for them personally. Yet, the adults around them missed the signals and continued chattering about how exciting it was.
Continue reading Tips for Recognizing Your Child Is Struggling Emotionally
There was an interesting article in the New York Post this weekend. The thrust of the article was that parents aren’t doing anything positive by occasionally having lunch with their kids at school. Read closely though, and you will notice the main “source” is someone who seems to resent her child constantly bugging her to come have lunch at school with him or her.
The modern parenting narrative has become one in which the parent’s wants and needs always come before the wants and needs of the child. We pretend there are parents who are overly involved in the lives of their children, but the sad truth is the vast majority of kids don’t get any of the things they really need from their parents. Instead parents provide lots of “stuff” and swoop in to “save the day” if Johnny or Susie becomes unhappy for some reason.
Continue reading Christian Parenting: Does Quality or Quantity Time Make the Difference?