Spiritual Disciplines for Your Kids – Prayer

Last week, we discussed the idea of using spiritual disciplines to help your children develop habits that will help them grow spiritually and be spiritually healthy as they grow older. Of the fifteen disciplines we mentioned, prayer is probably the one with which Christian parents have the most success. It is relatively simple to model and teach and there are easy ways for even very young children to begin praying. Most families have habits of praying at meals and/or at bedtime. Children also see prayer modeled in their Bible classes and in worship. But are your kids embracing prayer as a spiritual discipline?

For prayer to continue to help your children grow spiritually, they need to become independent prayers. Not just at meal times and bedtimes, but without ceasing during their days. When something happens that worries, frightens or upsets them, they should automatically turn to prayer. They should feel comfortable having conversations with God in prayer about anything and everything. When God says “no” or “wait” to a prayer, they should know it is God’s will and for the best.

As a parent, the problem is that independent prayer is usually silent prayer. Which can mean you don’t know for sure whether or not your kids are actually praying. Actually young children and even some teens are fairly consistent with their prayers. As they get older, however, they can depend upon others to do their praying for them and become less and less engaged in a personal prayer life.

Have periodic conversations with your kids about praying. Ask how they engage with God in prayer. Ask them if there are things for which they are praying that you can also be praying about. Discuss how God is answering the prayers of your family and what some of the possible reasons behind a “no” or a “wait” might be. Share about your own prayer life and how you make time for prayer. Or ways you have seen God answer your prayers. These conversations should be ongoing – including after they have left home as young adults. Don’t assume your kids have mastered the spiritual discipline of prayer. Make sure it is firmly rooted in them.

Spiritual Disciplines for Your Kids

As a Christian parent, you may or may not have heard of the concept of spiritual disciplines. Periodically, it gets some focused attention in various circles, but doesn’t seem as popular as it may have been in the past. For those of you new to spiritual disciplines, they are practices Christians have participated in since the beginning of Christianity. Many Christians believe these disciplines will help them become more like Jesus and more pleasing to God. The lists vary from person to person, but they all have in common things that are commanded or modeled in scripture, like prayer and Bible study. While the term “spiritual disciplines” is not found in the Bible, the individual practices on most lists are found in scripture.

The problem with these disciplines is that they don’t always come naturally. At least not doing them consistently and constantly. Perhaps it is because often Christians don’t try to start making them habits until they are adults. What if we spent more time helping our children develop these disciplines when they are young? Would they be able to be more consistent and benefit spiritually from doing these things regularly?

Part of the problem I would imagine many parents would have is that most of these disciplines sound very adult in nature. I believe, however, that they can be tweaked in such a way that they are appropriate for even very young children and can help them develop healthy spiritual habits while it is still relatively easy.

Over the next few weeks, we will spend one post a week going into more depth about specific disciplines and how to get your children started in participating in them. (Our other post each week will feature other topics, tips and activity ideas.) For now, here is the list we will be using,

  1. Prayer
  2. Bible study, including reading, memorizing and meditation.
  3. Fasting
  4. Worship
  5. Service
  6. Fellowship
  7. Solitude
  8. Confession
  9. Giving
  10. Hospitality
  11. Simplicity
  12. Reflection
  13. Stewardship
  14. Evangelism
  15. Gratitude

As you look at this list, in which spiritual disciplines do you personally participate in consistently? With which do you struggle? How could these disciplines help your own spiritual growth and health? That of your children? Join us next week as we begin taking a closer look at individual disciplines and adapting them for children and teens.

Fun Ways to Help Your Kids Remember to Thank God

As a Christian parent, you have probably prayed with your children since they were babies. At some point, you will need to begin to transition them to a personal prayer life. You will still pray with them at times, but you need to encourage them to pray regularly when they aren’t with you, too.

Part of that process is establishing habits of praying to God about certain things. The Bible mentions multiple times that we should be grateful to God for His many blessings. There is a fun way to get your kids in the habit of thanking God daily when they pray.

Call your kids together and tell them the story of the ten lepers found in Luke 17:11-19. Ask them how Jesus must have felt when the one leper came back and thanked him for healing him. Then ask them how Jesus must have felt when the other nine did not show gratitude. Read 1 Thessalonians 5:18. Ask them why they think it is important to thank God for our blessings.

Give each child a large sheet of paper and have them draw a giant heart on it. Point out that expressing gratitude is one way of showing God we love and appreciate Him. Ask your children how often they think God blesses them. Hopefully, they realize he blesses them daily. If not, take some time helping them think of blessings that God gives them every day as well as some special blessings He gives them from time to time, like healing them when they are sick.

Have your children write or draw on their hearts blessings God gives them every day. After they are finished, have them pray to God thanking Him for those blessings. Then help them place their hearts where they will see them every day. At dinner time or bedtime every day, take a moment and have each child write or draw three things they were grateful to God for that day. Encourage them to thank God for them in prayer then as well as for all of His blessings throughout the day. Talk about visual reminders they may see that remind them of a gift from God. Encourage them when they see those things to take a few seconds and thank God in the moment.

Habits take time to develop, so you may need to do the activity together for a few weeks and gradually transition them to doing it independently. Create new heart drawings when one gets filled, but save previous ones so your kids have reminders of God’s blessings in their lives. Eventually, your kids may not need the physical reminders any more, but even adults can benefit at times from reminders to be grateful to God.

9 Ways Christian Parents Can Support Their Kids in School

Schools start their year in a couple of weeks here. Whether your kids go to public or private school or you homeschool, they will be much more successful and happier if they feel supported by you throughout the year.

You don’t want to do their homework for them (Trust me. Teachers can tell whether their kindergarten student or his architect dad completed the city model project!), but what are some ways you can truly support your children in their educational journey?

  1. Pray for your children, their friends, teachers, administrators, etc. Remind your kids daily that you are praying for them while they are in school. If you carpool, pray over them in the car as you drop them off (with driver’s eyes open of course!). When checking in about their day, remind them you have been praying about any specific need and ask how they believe God is answering that prayer (remember “wait” and “no” are answers from God, too).
  2. Listen. When your kids want to talk about their day or something in their lives, drop everything and fully engage. Use active listening techniques – like nodding and asking clarifying questions. If your kids don’t feel like they can talk to you, they will turn to whomever will listen to them – and that doesn’t always end well.
  3. Point out God. Sometimes you can do this by pointing out how you see God working in a situation. At other times, you may use God’s Words in scripture to remind them of things God wants them to know and how it applies to that real life incident.
  4. Get to know their friends. There is nothing more annoying to a young person than telling a story about friends and continually being interrupted by a parent asking them to explain who the various friends are. If you have trouble keeping it straight, make yourself a cheat sheet you can refer to if necessary. Don’t stop there though. Be the house where there is always food and fun. It doesn’t have to be fancy. Or be the one who drives the group places. You will really get to know their friends as you spend time with them. Then you can help them navigate tricky relationships and be supportive of their friends as well.
  5. Respect their teachers. I know there are teachers your children may have who are less than ideal. It’s okay to advocate for your child, but you can do it respectfully. Go through the proper channels, in the proper order. Don’t email the principal before you have spoken to the teacher about the problem. Avoid yelling, cursing and name calling. As my grandmother used to say, “You catch more flies with homey than with vinegar.” More importantly, you are modeling Romans 13:1-7 for your children. (I know it doesn’t directly address school teachers and principals, but I think the underlying principle applies.)
  6. Make sure they get lots of sleep, exercise and healthy foods. Behavior issues, lack of stamina, poor moods, etc. can often be improved or eliminated with proper rest, exercise and diet. All kids through age 18 can benefit from 9-12 hours of sleep a day. In fact, teens need more sleep than children do in many cases. A quick run around the yard can actually make it easier for them to sit down and do their homework. (Just be sure to agree upon a set amount of time for outdoor play before they start.) Don’t forget that heavily processed foods will make them sluggish and can create immunity issues from a lack of vitamins and minerals.
  7. Have breakfast and dinner together as a family. One country has an amazingly high score on tests of both childhood happiness and kids having similar beliefs as their parents when they become adults. They credit it to mandatory family breakfasts and dinners. They won’t even invite others to join them for those meals. You don’t necessarily have to go that far, but studies have shown spending time eating meals as a family and talking about everything while eating improves outcomes for children and teens in multiple areas.
  8. Know their rights as Christians. Public school students have more rights to discuss and write about their faith than most teachers and administrators know. At the beginning of every school year, various groups like Focus on the Family publish an updated list of student rights that apply regardless of the school system. They also alert you to ones that may vary from school to school. Familiarize yourself with their rights and educate your children so they can respectfully advocate for themselves. If there have been issues in the past, take time to role play ways of handling similar situations.
  9. Celebrate victories! No, as an educator, I don’t feel there is much long term value in bribing children and teens to do well in school. I do believe that school can feel very overwhelming at times. Any victory – whether it’s good grades or getting some sort of award – should be celebrated. It doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive. The point is to acknowledge the victory in a way the child can hear.

All of these tips require you to be engaged with your children and their school life. They don’t need you to micromanage them or swoop in like a mother hawk to attack and “fix” things. They do desperately need to feel your love and support. That’s what will make them truly resilient in school.

Prayer Tips for the Anxious Child

As a Christian parent, you know prayer can calm jangled nerves, because you have experienced it yourself. Part of that calming though is because you have experienced years of God answering prayers and have developed a trust that God will do what is best for you – even if it means saying “no”. While your children’s faith is strong in its own way, it may struggle from lack of experience when times are really tough.

You may have had a conversation when your child expresses anxiety about something. Perhaps you counseled your child to “pray about it”, and your child responded he/she had been praying, but was still worried. Thankfully, there are things you can do that will help your child more quickly gain the trust in prayer that often comes after years of experience.

Here are some of our favorite ideas.

  1. Prayer worry box. Have your child decorate a small container. Whenever a worry arises, have him/her write or draw it on a slip of paper. After praying to God about the concern, place the paper in the container and seal it. Remind your child that worry has been turned over to God to handle and the child can release it fully to God. (Note: Some children may have to do this multiple times at first.)
  2. Praying scripture. Teach your kids how to find Bible verses that express what they want to say to God. Many will be found in Psalms, but they are scattered throughout scripture. Then encourage them to pray these verses as long as they remain applicable to their current situation. This has the added value of helping them memorize scripture and place it in their long term memories for the future.
  3. Prayer journal. Have your kids decorate a journal for the family or a personal one (school notebooks make inexpensive journals). Then have them record their prayer requests and God’s answers as they become clear. Periodically review past requests to see how God worked – especially in situations when God answered “no” and it later became clear that it really was the best answer.
  4. Prayer walks. Two stress reducers in one. Take a long walk with your child, praying out loud or silently as you walk. Encourage your child to have a real conversation with God instead of just listing requests.
  5. Gratitude prayers. Anxiety can be heightened by focusing on the negative – or potentially negative – things that can happen in life. Making an intentional effort to spend time in prayer thanking God for His many blessings can be an important reminder of God’s love and care.
  6. Asking grandparents and trusted Christian adults to pray for them. When our daughter was little, she was convinced that one of my friends from church was an effective prayer warrior. Whenever something was really concerning her, she would make sure “Miss Suzy” was praying about it. Suzy was also great about letting her know she was praying about it and asking her for regular updates until she was convinced the need had passed for that particular request.
  7. Share your prayer stories. Tell your kids about the times you were anxious and prayed to God about it. Explain how it comforted you. Tell them how God answered the prayer – especially if you were initially disappointed with a “no” and then realized God had been protecting you from the answer you wanted. Your kids will catch your faith – or lack of faith – in the power of prayer, so be intentional about setting a good example.

Prayer is a lifelong tool for helping your kids stay close to God. Helping them develop a string prayer life when they are young, will make it much more likely they will turn to prayer rather than less healthy coping techniques when anxious.