Faith Development – Parenting Like Hannah

Family Game Night For Fun and Faith

I’m a big fan of family game nights. We enjoyed them when our daughter was little and still love playing games when she and her husband come visit for a week. Playing board games with your kids can build relationships and create fun family memories. They can help ease the pain when they are having issues with friends. They can teach skills, like problem solving and time management, that strengthen resilience. Did you also know that you can use games to strengthen their Bible knowledge and build on their faith foundation?

Our game chest has always been filled with a mixture of secular and Bible games. Unfortunately, when our daughter was young, there weren’t a ton of options. In a quick scan through Amazon, I found that even some popular secular games like Cranium look like they now have official Bible versions.

Be aware though that not all Bible games have equal value. Some probably aren’t any more helpful than secular games for increasing Bible knowledge or comprehension. I would suggest thinking through any purchases of Bible games. Trivia decks are fun to have in the car for road trips. If you have a secular version of the game they love, then see if you can purchase just the question decks from the Bible version and use the same game board.

Or you might want to buy an entirely new Bible game. Also think about the underlying messages it may be sending your kids. I saw one that advertised making hysterically funny drawings for Bible verses. I can see a game like that either reinforcing Bible memory work or creating a disrespect for scripture depending upon how it is structured. Sometimes youth groups and children’s ministries own Bible games and you can look through them to see if they are something you want to purchase for home use. Or a Christian you know may already own the game and can tell you about it.

Just because a game is advertised as “Christian” or “Bible” doesn’t mean it will help your kids grow spiritually. Don’t forget, your kids can also learn character lessons by playing any games – even secular ones. The important thing is to have regular game nights. If you need a new game, consider a Bible one. It may add another dimension to the fun.

5 Reasons Your Kids Need Fewer Activities in Their Lives

If you are like many families, you rarely see your children during the school year. It’s not just school itself, but all of the activities in which your children participate. There are classes, practices, rehearsals, games and performances. Most young people have to squeeze in homework and sleep in the very few hours that remain in their days.

The truth is that many children and teens have far busier schedules than many adults. Perhaps you think they enjoy being in scheduled activities, and they probably do to some extent. They may enjoy the things they are doing and spending time with friends. Or perhaps they enjoy the social clout that comes from participating in certain groups. There is no question that there are some good things that can be gotten from organized activities. The question is, are there better things that could come from having more unscheduled time in their days and weeks?

I am old enough now to have watched several generations of children grow up. Some things change, while others stay the same. Even within a time period, different families have different priorities. I’ve seen what parents have done and the resulting faith of their children as adults. Certain parenting choices make a huge difference. One of the key things O have learned is that most children and teens need more unstructured time in their days, with parents nearby or engaged with them. Why? Here are five key benefits I think young people will receive from having this extra free and device free time.

They have more time for rest, which often results in better attitudes and behavior. Encourage them to go to bed early or lie on their bed or a comfortable sofa in the afternoon with no electronics. They can read, sketch or write…. or just sit and think. With low lights and a quiet house, those who are tired will quickly fall asleep and get the extra rest they need. If your kids aren’t getting enough sleep, they will struggle with their health and their mental health. Give them some extra time for sleep in their day. It may just make life more pleasant for all of you.
They have more time to actually think through or process everything they are learning about God and the world around them. Good lessons are designed to make kids think. If they don’t have the time to complete a thought, the potential the lesson had to change their hearts and minds is short circuited or lost. Giving them free time with no devices encourages thinking.
They have time to be creative, explore potential gifts and develop ones they have already discovered. They’ll also have time to find ways to serve God with their gifts. Okay, this one does seem to encourage activities. Instead of all of their time being spent in classes perfecting gifts though, have lots of things around your house that encourage creativity. Give your kids space to start something creative and leave it out to work on for a time. Give them free time and encourage them to use it to explore and try new things using the things you have in your home. If they get a great idea, encourage them to try it out and see if it works. Schools can kill creativity, but your kids will need it to live a successful Christian life. Give them the time and space to grow the creativity their school days have lessened.
They will have time to build their faith. Help them create a cozy space for Bible study and prayer. Encourage them to experiment with Bible journaling or scripture art. Give them the time and space to serve God by helping others independently. If their activities have made them miss worship services and Bible classes then they are missing key faith builders. Plus you are teaching them God is only another activity for when there is nothing else better to do. Make time for God to be the top priority in their lives.
They will have time to be loved, supported and coached by you. I know. You are showing your love and support by paying for those activities and attending their events. Not to mention the hours spent shuttling them from activity to activity. All of that is fine, but it does not take the place of spending large amounts of quality time being nurtured by you. Resilience is based in large part on having a strong relationship with loving, nurturing parents. Truly resilient children have spent a lot of one on one time with parents talking about anything and everything, having fun doing something together (interacting as you work together on something or sharing an experience), or working together around your home. The difference may seem subtle, but it’s actually significant.

Sit down with your kids and look at their schedules. What can you cut back or remove entirely? The pressure from the world around you to over schedule your kids is real and overwhelming at times. The argument that it will make things better for your children can be persuasive. As a Christian parent, this is one of those times you will need to be countercultural to do what is actually best for your kids. Give them the free (and device free) time to grow to be who God wants them to be.

Prayer Tips for the Anxious Child

As a Christian parent, you know prayer can calm jangled nerves, because you have experienced it yourself. Part of that calming though is because you have experienced years of God answering prayers and have developed a trust that God will do what is best for you – even if it means saying “no”. While your children’s faith is strong in its own way, it may struggle from lack of experience when times are really tough.

You may have had a conversation when your child expresses anxiety about something. Perhaps you counseled your child to “pray about it”, and your child responded he/she had been praying, but was still worried. Thankfully, there are things you can do that will help your child more quickly gain the trust in prayer that often comes after years of experience.

Here are some of our favorite ideas.

Prayer worry box. Have your child decorate a small container. Whenever a worry arises, have him/her write or draw it on a slip of paper. After praying to God about the concern, place the paper in the container and seal it. Remind your child that worry has been turned over to God to handle and the child can release it fully to God. (Note: Some children may have to do this multiple times at first.)
Praying scripture. Teach your kids how to find Bible verses that express what they want to say to God. Many will be found in Psalms, but they are scattered throughout scripture. Then encourage them to pray these verses as long as they remain applicable to their current situation. This has the added value of helping them memorize scripture and place it in their long term memories for the future.
Prayer journal. Have your kids decorate a journal for the family or a personal one (school notebooks make inexpensive journals). Then have them record their prayer requests and God’s answers as they become clear. Periodically review past requests to see how God worked – especially in situations when God answered “no” and it later became clear that it really was the best answer.
Prayer walks. Two stress reducers in one. Take a long walk with your child, praying out loud or silently as you walk. Encourage your child to have a real conversation with God instead of just listing requests.
Gratitude prayers. Anxiety can be heightened by focusing on the negative – or potentially negative – things that can happen in life. Making an intentional effort to spend time in prayer thanking God for His many blessings can be an important reminder of God’s love and care.
Asking grandparents and trusted Christian adults to pray for them. When our daughter was little, she was convinced that one of my friends from church was an effective prayer warrior. Whenever something was really concerning her, she would make sure “Miss Suzy” was praying about it. Suzy was also great about letting her know she was praying about it and asking her for regular updates until she was convinced the need had passed for that particular request.
Share your prayer stories. Tell your kids about the times you were anxious and prayed to God about it. Explain how it comforted you. Tell them how God answered the prayer – especially if you were initially disappointed with a “no” and then realized God had been protecting you from the answer you wanted. Your kids will catch your faith – or lack of faith – in the power of prayer, so be intentional about setting a good example.

Prayer is a lifelong tool for helping your kids stay close to God. Helping them develop a string prayer life when they are young, will make it much more likely they will turn to prayer rather than less healthy coping techniques when anxious.

Through What Are Your Children Filtering the Things They Are Taught?

Let’s say your children are told a new bit of information…. “Dogs prefer green jello.” Your kids need to decide whether or not this information is accurate, true, important and worth storing in their brains long term. Since most of us are bombarded with a flood of new information all day, they need to find a way to make the process faster.

This is where the idea of filters enters the picture. Filters can include previous knowledge – like perhaps your family has owned three dogs – none of whom would even eat jello. One major filter is someone’s worldview. A worldview is a philosophy of life through which everything is filtered. So, for example, if I have a Christian worldview and I read somewhere that something happened because of a prayer to an idol, I will automatically classify that information as false because a Christian’s worldview holds that idols have no power.

Worldviews can be tricky – especially for young people. A teen might honestly believe he or she has a Christian worldview while actually having a different one entirely. So what are some popular worldviews? Christian, Deism, Naturalism, Nihilism, New Age, Postmodern, Humanism, Islamic and many more are the worldviews your children may be adopting.

So how do you know if your children have a Christian – or as some call it – a biblical worldview? Definitions vary slightly, but most would agree that someone who truly has a Christian or biblical worldview has the following beliefs:

Absolute moral truths exist
Moral truths are defined by God in the Bible
Jesus is the son of God and lived a sinless life
God is the Creator, all powerful and all knowing and is still active in the world today
Christians are commanded to share their faith with others
The Bible is true, reliable and accurate in its teachings
Salvation cannot be earned, but is a gift from God
Baptism by immersion is necessary for the forgiveness of sins and to receive the gift of the Holy Spirit
Satan is real

Do you know whether or not your children believe these statements? If they don’t, you have a short amount of time to teach them and mentor them. Most scholars believe a person’s worldview is set before adolescence and is pretty difficult to change after the early adult years. Make sure your kids aren’t accepting a worldview that isn’t Christian or biblical. If all the philosophical conversations they are having are at school or with peers, they may be developing a worldview that will ultimately destroy their faith.

Top 5 Christian Parenting Hacks

Parenting is tough. Christian parenting is even tougher because you are parenting against your culture in many ways. The stakes are so high, the pressure can become overwhelming at times. Parents often want to know what are some basic things they can do to start their family down the right track. There are probably dozens of things that can help, but which will make the most difference if you feel lost in a maze of parenting advice?

My list might change slightly if you ask me again tomorrow, but here are five great things to get your Christian parenting on track.

Daily family devotional times. You can’t go wrong spending time together reading scripture, discussing it and praying together as a family. If you haven’t been doing this, it’s okay to start small. At the same time every day (and connected to something you always do, like a meal), start with reading a verse or two, asking your kids what it means and how they can use the verse that day and praying together.
Attending worship and Bible classes weekly and in person. This is crucial for so many reasons. If you are regularly missing worship services and Bible classes or only watching online, your kids aren’t going to have the strong faith they need to make it through life.
Sleep 9-12 hours a night. That’s right. Even through the teen years, your kids need an average of 9-12 hours of sleep a day. They will make better choices, have improved moods and your job will be easier. Want to really improve things? Get 8-9 hours of sleep a night yourself. Everyone can take naps if they need extra hours, but I promise sufficient sleep can be transformative.
Eating daily meals together as a family and periodically with family and friends. One of the Nordic countries believes their children never stray far from the beliefs of their parents. Why? Breakfast and dinner are eaten together at the table, as a family. Every day. Regardless. Secular studies show that kids who eat daily meals with their families are much less likely to participate in high risk behaviors. Want to raise kids to be faithful, active, productive Christians? A study found that one of the keys is hospitality. It doesn’t have to be fancy. Having your children’s friends over or extended family counts. Just open your doors to others on a regular basis.
Long daily family walks. Want kids who are healthier, happier and talk to you more? Take a long daily walk together. A social worker I met called these walks “magical”. Aim for about 5k or 3 miles to also benefit things like sleep. If you can’t go the distance yet, even a few blocks can start yielding minor benefits.

If you feel like you are struggling with your parenting, starting with these five basics can help you get on track. Then search our blog for other topics where you could use some additional advice. You can raise faithful, productive Christians!