With the amount of constant conflict in our society, it’s no surprise our children believe they can say whatever comes into their heads to anyone at any time. “Good” kids probably won’t say things that will have them labeled as bullies, but often the things they say (which in their minds are smart and funny) are actually very rude and disrespectful.
The problem is there is no real societal standard the way there was several decades ago. Chances are if your child says something “sassy” or disrespectful, it is just as likely to be given positive labels as negative ones. Yet, as Christians, we are held to God’s standard – not society’s. We know God wants our children to speak in ways that are loving, kind and respectful. How can we train them to speak the way God wants them to speak to others?
It’s definitely easier to train or disciple your child in any godly behavior when you can count on other adults to reinforce what you are teaching them. Even if you don’t have that support system though, there are things you can do at home to move your child towards more godly speech.
Here are my six favorite tips:
When I teach kids, I will sometimes challenge them to accomplish something or allow them to compete in some way. Inevitably, one of them will ask “What do we get?”. Parents, schools, even extra-curricular activities give awards for anything and everything. Some even reward children for doing the bare minimum of what used to be considered common good behavior.
When my daughter was getting ready to enter kindergarten, I asked her doctor if she should get the flu shot. He was an older doctor at a time when flu shots for kids were considered optional. He counseled she should go without, because catching the flu would strengthen her immune system. It felt wrong, but I gave into what I thought was the doctor’s wisdom.
Ever asked your child why, he punched his sister or didn’t clean up his toys as asked? What often follows is a litany of sentences along the lines of “It was her fault.”, “He made me do it”, “She hit me first.”, “I didn’t know you meant those toys.” Some are silly, some are frustrating, but often they all have something in common.
Lies are often like potato chips. It’s hard to tell just one. Children often think telling “one little lie” will keep them from getting in trouble and receiving consequences. What they don’t realize is that it is very difficult to cover up something that happened with just one lie. Often, the first lie leads to many others being told to back up the original deception.