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8 Tips for Raising Kids Who Survive and Thrive

8 Tips for Raising Kids Who Survive and Thrive - Parenting Like Hannah

Cacti can survive and even thrive in very harsh conditions.

In Are You Accidentally Raising a Victim, I shared why you need to raise kids who don’t see themselves as victims. 10 Signs Your Child Has a Victim Mindset explained how to tell if your kids are beginning to view themselves as victims. Whether your kids already view themselves as victims or you just want to make sure they never see themselves in that light, it’s important to know how to give your kids the tools to survive and even thrive in the face of adversity.

There are a lot of things you can do to help your children become survivors instead of victims. In fact, the Bible is full of stories of people like King David who experienced a lot of really negative things.  Have your kids read how David shared his feelings about his adversities in Psalms. Then have them read the stories of how God helped David survive and even thrive in spite of the adversity in his life. If you regularly share these stories with your kids, they will begin to see the pattern of how God still works in the lives of His people.

There are other things you can do to give your kids the tools to avoid developing a victim mindset. In the case of serious trauma, your child may also need help from a mental health professional to process the event in healthy ways. For those with less traumatic negative experiences, here are a few more of my favorite tips for helping kids survive and even thrive.

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10 Signs Your Child Has a Victim Mindset

10 Signs Your Child Has a Victim Mindset - Parenting Like Hannah

My New Favorite Warning Sign!

 

In Are You Accidentally Raising a Victim, I shared the negative effects a victim mindset can have on your children and the best way to stop it from developing. Unfortunately, your kids may have already started developing a victim mindset – even if they have never experienced a particularly traumatic event. Our society loves convincing all of us we are victims. It’s a great way for others to gain power and money, by promising to “fix” our victim status.

So what are the signs your kids may already think of themselves as victims? Here are some of the most obvious ones.

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Are You Accidentally Raising a Victim?

Are You Accidentally Raising Victims? _ Parenting Like Hannah

The society who built these were forced to flee and never returned.

Want to be inspired? Walk the 3-Day Breast Cancer Walk. As I walked 60 miles over three days, I met women who had every right to think of themselves as victims. They had survived a horrible disease that had ravaged their bodies. Yet, these were some of the most energized, positive people I had ever met. They refused to think of themselves as victims.

No matter what may happen to your children, the best gift you can give them is to teach them how to avoid thinking of themselves as victims. Victims get stuck. They don’t move forward. They don’t accomplish anything, because they are fixated on their pain. They surely, can’t reach their godly potential or accomplish the plans God has for their lives. They can’t continue to mature spiritually, because growth requires looking forward.  Victims are stuck in the past when the hurt occurred.

In our society, people gain power and riches when they convince others they are victims. Then they can swoop in and “save the day” – often by actually victimizing the very people they are claiming to help. It used to be tough to convince people they were victims. Now we have a society full of them.

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Fun Activity For Teaching Christian Kids About Self-Image

Fun Activity For Teaching Christian Kids About Self-Image - Parenting Like HannahAbsalom is a great example of someone in the Bible who thought they were “all that and a bag of chips.” It’s easy to see why. “In the whole land of Israel there wasn’t any man as handsome as Absalom was. That’s why everyone praised him. From the top of his head to the bottom of his feet he didn’t have any flaws.” (2 Samuel 14:25 NIrV)

Evidently, Absalom believed all of this praise and decided he was so very awesome, he should be King. Did I mention he was willing to overthrow his own father in the process? Things didn’t end well for Absalom, because unlike his father, he was not a man after God’s own heart.

Whether your children are physically beautiful to everyone who sees them or only to you, it’s too easy to believe our looks define who we are. Society doesn’t do much to contradict this faulty reasoning. A quick flip through a magazine will help anyone who wondered, realize physical beauty is highly valued.

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Great Spiritual Legacy and Encouragement Gift for Your Teen

Great Spiritual Legacy and Encouragement Gift for Your Teen - Parenting Like HannahAs your children enter their teen years, you may begin to feel a sense of urgency in your parenting. You only have a few years remaining when you will see your child daily and have hours a day to help build their spiritual foundation. By your child’s senior year of high school, even the most proactive Christian parent can feel a sense of panic. What have you forgotten to teach? What more do you need to say?

There is a way though to create a special gift that will be a subtle (or not so subtle) reminder for your child of the spiritual truths that were so important to you – the ones you pray are also a part of who they are and who they will become. The great thing is you can put your own special touches on it that will also reflect your love for your child and the value you place on your relationship.

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Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. (Deuteronomy 11:18-19 NIV)