8 Tips for Raising Kids Who Survive and Thrive

8 Tips for Raising Kids Who Survive and Thrive - Parenting Like Hannah

Cacti can survive and even thrive in very harsh conditions.

In Are You Accidentally Raising a Victim, I shared why you need to raise kids who don’t see themselves as victims. 10 Signs Your Child Has a Victim Mindset explained how to tell if your kids are beginning to view themselves as victims. Whether your kids already view themselves as victims or you just want to make sure they never see themselves in that light, it’s important to know how to give your kids the tools to survive and even thrive in the face of adversity.

There are a lot of things you can do to help your children become survivors instead of victims. In fact, the Bible is full of stories of people like King David who experienced a lot of really negative things.  Have your kids read how David shared his feelings about his adversities in Psalms. Then have them read the stories of how God helped David survive and even thrive in spite of the adversity in his life. If you regularly share these stories with your kids, they will begin to see the pattern of how God still works in the lives of His people.

There are other things you can do to give your kids the tools to avoid developing a victim mindset. In the case of serious trauma, your child may also need help from a mental health professional to process the event in healthy ways. For those with less traumatic negative experiences, here are a few more of my favorite tips for helping kids survive and even thrive.

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10 Signs Your Child Has a Victim Mindset

10 Signs Your Child Has a Victim Mindset - Parenting Like Hannah

My New Favorite Warning Sign!


In Are You Accidentally Raising a Victim, I shared the negative effects a victim mindset can have on your children and the best way to stop it from developing. Unfortunately, your kids may have already started developing a victim mindset – even if they have never experienced a particularly traumatic event. Our society loves convincing all of us we are victims. It’s a great way for others to gain power and money, by promising to “fix” our victim status.

So what are the signs your kids may already think of themselves as victims? Here are some of the most obvious ones.

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Are You Accidentally Raising a Victim?

Are You Accidentally Raising Victims? _ Parenting Like Hannah

The society who built these were forced to flee and never returned.

Want to be inspired? Walk the 3-Day Breast Cancer Walk. As I walked 60 miles over three days, I met women who had every right to think of themselves as victims. They had survived a horrible disease that had ravaged their bodies. Yet, these were some of the most energized, positive people I had ever met. They refused to think of themselves as victims.

No matter what may happen to your children, the best gift you can give them is to teach them how to avoid thinking of themselves as victims. Victims get stuck. They don’t move forward. They don’t accomplish anything, because they are fixated on their pain. They surely, can’t reach their godly potential or accomplish the plans God has for their lives. They can’t continue to mature spiritually, because growth requires looking forward.  Victims are stuck in the past when the hurt occurred.

In our society, people gain power and riches when they convince others they are victims. Then they can swoop in and “save the day” – often by actually victimizing the very people they are claiming to help. It used to be tough to convince people they were victims. Now we have a society full of them.

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Why Your Kids Aren’t Doing What You Ask (And a Quick Fix!)

Why Your Kids Aren't Doing What You Ask (And a Quick Fix!) - Parenting Like HannahWhen our daughter was about three years old, I asked her one day to clean her room. She gave me a puzzled look and when I returned in a few minutes, I couldn’t see any change. I reminded her she was supposed to clean her room and she replied, “I can’t.”

Now this is the point where most parents begin lectures on obedience and responsibility and begin threatening consequences. The problem is, she was telling the truth. She couldn’t clean her room, because she didn’t know what that meant or how to do it.

It doesn’t end with the toddler years though. What does “Don’t have sex until you’re married.” mean? What about “Don’t do drugs.”? Even teens struggle with doing what their parents ask them to do.

There are some really quick things you can do to make it clear whether or not your child is actually in rebellion to your request or sincerely hasn’t a clue what to do.

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Great Devotional Resource for Parents of Children With Special Needs

Great Devotional Resource for Parents of Children With Special Needs - Parenting Like HannahAs part of my ministry, I often hear from parents with children who have some sort of special need. Whether it’s physical, academic, emotional or behavioral, your child’s special needs may also make your Christian parenting journey a bit (or a lot) more challenging. You may be experiencing things on a daily basis other parents may never have to navigate.

I am always looking for resources to help these amazing parents. It can be an isolating parenting journey and this ministry was created to help every Christian parent feel a little less alone. So, I was excited to find Bible Promises for Parents of Children with Special Needs by Amy Mason.

Although every parent’s journey is different, Mason does have a child with special needs. She has walked at least part of the road you are walking. As a result, she knows many of the topics that concerned her may concern you, too.

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Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. (Deuteronomy 11:18-19 NIV)