Hearing These Words More Often Can Help Your Children Become Christians

One of the benefits of my ministry is that I get to observe congregations around the U.S. and in other countries. I get a better sense of what works well and what doesn’t in Christian parenting and ministries serving children and teens. This week, my husband and I visited a congregation that regularly seems to average around a couple of hundred baptisms a year. We began asking ourselves why this particular congregation was averaging so many more baptisms (of believers) than others.

We suddenly realized why. The minister there was not afraid to talk about the need for baptism not only to have sins forgiven and for becoming a Christian, but for the gift of the Holy Spirit that makes living the Christian life possible. He walks through it carefully explaining the whys and hows of baptism. Children and teens in this congregation hear about baptism regularly and have a thorough understanding of what it is and why it is so important.

I imagine if I asked the minister I would learn that most of the young people in this congregation have decided to become Christians before the age of eighteen, unlike the majority of their peers in other congregations. I would also imagine the parents are encouraged to talk about baptism at home with their children and Bible class teachers are trained to discuss it in Bible classes with older children and teens.

Think carefully about your own children. How often to they hear baptism even mentioned – much less explained in your worship services? How often do they see a baptism? How often do their Bible class teachers talk about it? How often do you discuss it in your home?

Our young people aren’t getting baptized any more in part because they don’t know it’s something God expects of them. They don’t know why they need to do it (most never hear about Heaven or Hell anywhere either). They don’t know what happens when they are baptized and how it makes a difference both on Earth and after death. They don’t have a space to ask their questions – and may not have any because they have little knowledge and experience upon which to even form a question.

If you want your children to become Christians, you have to talk about it a lot. You need to study it with them in scripture (our free study and the book of Acts are great places to start). You need to encourage your ministers and Bible class teachers to talk about it more often. If you do that, your kids will have the information necessary to make an informed choice about baptism – and they’re more likely to make a great choice.

Here is the link to our free baptism study guide. http://teachonereachone.org/baptism-study/

The Book Every Christian Parent Should Read

Before you start posting critical comments on social media, the Bible is technically the only book you need to truly Christian parent well. The problem is there are too many people out there who either claim to be Christians or who were Christians who have taken it on as their mission in life to do everything in their power to destroy Christianity. It’s not enough to reject God and the Bible as the standard for their lives. They want to take as many people with them as possible.

It would be bad enough if just former “Christians” were aggressively recruiting young people to leave Christianity, but there are theologians, preachers, ministers, “Christian” authors and musicians and others who still attend church and even lead and teach in churches, but with a message that is meant to destroy the faith of those who hear them. It’s the false teaching warned about in scripture on steroids.

The problem strong Christians and Christian parents have always faced is because they are so focused on studying the Bible, serving others, sharing their faith, etc., they don’t always have a lot of free time to keep up with what is swirling around on the perimeters of Christianity until it has taken hold of their children through some back channel on social media or some book or post that leads them down a spiritual rabbit hole that rarely ends well.

As parents, grandparents or anyone concerned about the faith of children, teens and young adults you need help staying at least close to the curve and how young people are being influenced. What are they being told? What faulty logic are they hearing that seems to make sense, but is really a lie? What makes them more vulnerable to these false teachings and how can you keep their faith strong?

Normally, I finish a book before I suggest you purchase and read it. I will be honest, I am half way through The Deconstruction of Christianity by Alisa Childres and Tim Barnett and I am suggesting you run and read this book ASAP. It’s that good. If you have kept up with everything, it’s not that all of the information will be new to you, but it’s organized in a fashion that will help you work with young people and their parents struggling with the current issues circulating out there. If the very term deconstruction makes your head spin, this book breaks everything down in easy to understand ways that will not only help you, but allow you to have better conversations with others on the topic.

I’m not sure how the young people you care about would respond to the idea of reading this book at the same time you do and discussing it with you (those too far down this road may dismiss it as toxic and refuse to even look at it), but it could make a great book to help you have meaningful conversations with your kids – perhaps before they are even exposed to these issues. Fore warned is after all fore armed!

Whether you read this book for yourself or with your kids or grandkids, read it. We have to stop this current movement from taking any more young people down the path of destruction.

A Cozy Way to Encourage Your Kids to Read the Bible

The Danish have a term “hygge” that is an extremely popular way of creating a warm and inviting environment in a home. While the word doesn’t have a true translation into English, the word cozy is most often used to try and communicate the idea of hygge to English speakers. Think of the most welcoming, comforting environment you have ever experienced. It was probably a home with hygge.

One of the challenges for encouraging children and teens to be daily, independent Bible readers is to get them to sit still and focus long enough for them to read and process a few verses of scripture (or more!). They’re either super busy running from activity to activity or lost in a virtual world on a device. Enticing them to sit and read their Bible for a few minutes each day can seem impossible.

The answer may just be in helping them create their own corner of hygge reserved only for spending time with God. You can call it their Bible corner. Help each of your children find a literal corner of your living space where they can create a permanent Bible study and prayer corner. Some people have even used a closet as a private, quiet place to sit with God.

Allow each child to design their corner so it is comfortable, inviting and has everything they need to read the Bible – including an easy to read version of the Bible like the NIrV or a study Bible, a journal, pens, etc. Many kids will choose to have pillows and a blanket and sit on the floor. Others may find some sort of chair that is inviting. They may even want to keep a bottle of water and some snack foods in their corner. The key is for them to want to sit in that spot when they see it.

The other key to success for a Bible corner is to try and place it where they will walk by it several times a day. Seeing that inviting Bible corner can encourage them to stop and take a few minutes to rest, calm and spend some time with God in scripture and prayer. If your schedules allow, you might even want to create some Bible corner time in your schedule each day, when everyone goes to their respective corners and spends time reading scripture and praying.

Will your house look a little more cluttered? Perhaps, but isn’t it worth it if your children develop the habit of spending time reading their Bibles and praying every day?!

Top Tips for Raising Kids With Servant Hearts

I was reading a parenting book by a secular author who was amazed to stumble across a home in another culture where a child saw dirty dishes in the sink and got up to wash them without being asked. As she had a secular mindset, her book then looked at all the parenting differences she thought might create children who were equally helpful. I smiled to myself a bit as I immediately recognized what had happened in that home. The parents were raising the child with the heart of a servant.

Children with the heart of a servant think about how they can help their family and friends before they think about how they want to spend their time in leisure activities. When they see someone at work or struggling in some way, they jump in to help and make the load lighter. They are the helpers and encouragers in their worlds. They are a parent’s delight – even though they still make mistakes and sin.

So how do you raise children with servant hearts? It takes more intentionality, but in the end actually can mean less work because you aren’t having to do everything yourself or nag and punish to get the help you need. It can also mean a more peaceful home as your children focus on helping each other over protecting their “rights”. It can also make your kids stronger Christians as they understand that being a servant of The King (God) means obedience and not getting their own way.

Here are some of our top tips for raising kids with servant hearts.

  1. Teach them what it means to be a servant in the biblical sense of the word. In our modern vernacular, slave is probably closer in meaning to the word often translated as servant in the Bible. Christians with servant hearts obey God’s commands – even if they don’t understand or agree with them. They understand God gets to make the rules and we get to obey them – because God knows what is best for us and by obeying Him we have the best possible life in a fallen world.
  2. Let your children see your servant heart. If they see you consistently obey God, serve others and share your faith humbly, they have a great example to follow. If they understand why you “don’t look out only for your own interests, but the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3-5), they may just follow your example.
  3. Help them learn to see the needs around them – even the subtle or partially hidden ones. Raise kids who don’t have to be asked to help. Who see someone with a sad expression and ask how they can help. Who notice when someone drops all of their papers and help to pick them up without being asked. Often, like in the story of the Good Samaritan, it is easy to pretend we didn’t help because we never saw the need. Raise kids who see the need.
  4. Teach them they don’t personally have to solve every problem they see, but they should at least try to find someone who can help. If you take first aid classes, the first thing they teach you to do is to look around, point to someone and tell them to call 911. If not, a huge crowd can be standing around watching the medical problem and no one calls 911. Teach your kids how to help when they can, but it’s just as important to teach them how to quickly and efficiently get other people helping, too. If not, they may burn out trying to solve every problem by themselves.
  5. Teach them to think of others before themselves. This always gets a lot of push back in our culture. Our world believes we shouldn’t raise doormats who allow everyone to walk all over them. Or people pleasers who care about pleasing others more than taking care of their own basic needs. Thinking of others before yourself, however, is a command and not a suggestion. It should be a constant discussion of what it truly means – especially when looking at the life of Jesus. It’s not an easy command and we shouldn’t ignore it or pretend like how to live it is always obvious and easy.
  6. Help your children be encouragers. We tend to breeze right by the scriptures commanding Christians to encourage one another. The world can be a tough place. Encouragers make it a little easier to hang in there and make good choices. Raise encouragers.
  7. Teach your children to assume the best in others. I understand the importance of teaching kids how to be safe around strangers in a dangerous world. It’s a philosophy, however, that assumes the worst in others merely because some adults are dangerous to children. As they get older though, the attitude of assuming everyone is dangerous needs to be tempered a bit or they will never serve others and share their faith. It’s also important to teach them that when they feel offended by someone in some way to give that person the benefit of the doubt. Maybe the teacher had a really rough morning and was a little more curt than normal – rather than the teacher hates me. Even if the teacher dislikes your child, coming at the conversation willing to assume the best rather than the worst can make discussions a bit less heated and easier.

While it may take some time before your children jump up to help you without asking or are kind to their siblings, it’s worth taking the time and effort to raise kids with servant hearts. Those are hearts God finds it easy to work with to do His Will.

Easy Way to Study the Bible With Your Children and Teens

Parents are often intimidated about studying the Bible with their children. Often they will look for a book designed for family devotionals. There are a lot of choices out there and many of them are a great way to help your family get in the crucial habit of daily Bible study.

The problem is that many of them only last for a few weeks or months or they may be too simple for your older children and teens. Or maybe you just don’t have the money to keep buying new devotional books. Whatever the reason for wanting to study the Bible without a devotional guide, there’s a fairly simple way to study the passage of your choice and have some structure and depth to the conversation about it with your kids. It’s a common method suggested by many groups with a few tweaks I’ve added to make it a bit more specific.

The first task is to choose what book of the Bible you want to study. I usually suggest story heavy books for beginners or books like Proverbs and James with lots of practical advice in them. Most families only have time for a few verses to a chapter each day. If you try to cover more chapters, it can overwhelm your kids and they may not learn anything because you are trying to cover too much in one time period.

Read the chosen passage out loud. The reason we suggest an adult reading the passage is so you can stop at unfamiliar words and concepts as you are reading to make sure your kids are understanding what is being read to them on the most basic level.

After reading the scripture, ask one of your kids to sum it up in his or her own words. This gives you a chance to correct any misunderstandings about what was read. Once you feel fairly certain your kids have understood what you read, ask the following questions for your discussion of the passage.

  1. What stood out to you in these verses?
  2. What can we share with other Christians from these verses that will help/encourage/challenge them? Bonus: Name one Christian you will share this with this week.
  3. What can we share with non-believers that will help/encourage/challenge them? Bonus: Name one non-believer you will share this with this week.
  4. What changes do I need to make based on what we read in these verses? Bonus: What is one thing I am going to do this week because of what we read in this passage?

These four questions take the verses from a lesson to a practical roadmap for living the Christian life. It encourages personal spiritual growth, encouraging other Christians, serving others and sharing their faith. It also trains them in one method they can use when they have personal Bible study time or lead a small group Bible study of their own. It’s a great way to dig deeper into scripture with your older kids and teens.