Category: Faith Development

Spiritual Disciplines for Your Kids – Worship

Of all of the spiritual disciplines we are covering, you may think worship is the easiest. You just take them to church every Sunday, right? Spiritual disciplines are practices Christians have partaken in for over two thousand years in an effort to become who God wanted them to be. Many of the disciplines Jesus himself practiced while he was on Earth. Since it’s so important to spiritual health and growth, we may need to take a closer look at worship.

The dictionary definition of worship is to show reverence and adoration to God. While corporate worship as a community of believers is crucial, your kids need to also learn how to constantly worship God. There are all kinds of clues in scripture about what God considers worship. In Isaiah, the prophet says, “…I will exalt you, I will praise your name, for you have done marvelous things…” (25:1) and “Sing praises to the Lord, for he has done gloriously.” (12:5) Paul writes in Romans that we are to “present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.” (12:1) In Psalms we read “Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.” (150:6)

You can help your children have a worshipful life by modeling one yourself. Sing praise songs around the house or in your car. (There are some great kids’ praise songs that have scriptures as lyrics so they are also memorizing scripture as they sing.) Be thankful to God out loud and praise Him in front of your children… “Isn’t God amazing that he created such a beautiful sunset for us to enjoy?!” “It is awesome to see how God worked in that situation even better than we could have imagined or hoped!” If you are sincere and consistent, your kids will begin to follow your lead in most cases.

But what about corporate worship at church? Although some churches still provide separate environments for children during worship services, don’t let your kids participate. Studies are finding children fare better spiritually when they are brought in with the adults as modeled in scripture. Yes it is more work for you, but they will grow so much more by learning how to worship from a young age, rather than being entertained. They will develop relationships that can become mentoring with Christians older than them who sit near you. They will feel like part of a family – which is what church was always designed to be.

Once they’re in worship with you, it’s crucial they participate – no matter how young they are. Our daughter was encouraged to sing along from infancy and would often hum along before she could say the words. When we stood, she either stood or was picked up and held while we stood. She was encouraged to fold her hands and pray when the grown ups did – even if she just said her own prayer because she couldn’t quite understand what the person was praying. She gave her own money to God from her allowance each week. (Most churches have a box in the foyer where your children can put their money.)

But what about the sermons? When she was tiny, we had a fidget book I had made that was based on the Bible. Each page was a different story and had something she could do on it to keep her hands busy. She only saw that book during the sermon on Sunday, so she never had a chance to get tired of it. I also had a few other Bible based books she could look through.

As soon as she was old enough to begin drawing. We got her a special notebook for sermons. We would draw pictures based on things in the sermon and she would color them. As she got a little older, she was encouraged to listen to the sermon and draw things she heard from it. Most weeks she might only catch one or two points – usually the Bible story or theme in the sermon, but it taught her that the point was to listen and learn. Afterwards, we would often talk briefly at lunch about her notes and what she learned.

So what if your child gets antsy? Starting at about one year old, we began training her about appropriate behavior in worship. We sat in the back for several months and I would take her out and correct her if she became disruptive and then bring her back into worship. I won’t lie. Some weeks, I had to get up more than once. It’s important to state clearly what was disruptive in your correction and repeat that we don’t do things to disrupt the worship of others. It is also important to return as quickly as possible, because some children will learn acting out gets them out of worship and into an environment with toys. The point of training is not just about behavior. It is teaching them worship is not about them being entertained, but about praising God and helping others worship Him as well. It’s the beginning of a foundation of considering the needs of others and putting God first, instead of themselves.

Work with your kids on worship. It keeps them in constant contact with God and keeps their perspective and priorities focused on God instead of their own “selfish desires”.

Using Your Kids’ Interests to Reinforce Biblical Truths

What are your kids’ interests outside of screen time? If they don’t have any, that’s another discussion (But please get them back in the real world!). Did you know you can use aspects of their interests to reinforce things they are learning from the Bible? You just need to help them look a little below the surface to find all kinds of real life examples.

How? Let’s say your teen daughter loves watching rom coms on Great American Family. Enjoy the movie with her. As you are watching, take note of choices the characters make. Were there any sins (probably not on GAF)? Were there poor choices or red flags that a person would not make a great spouse? Were there questionable choices for a healthy relationship (for example basically dating someone while in a committed relationship with someone else)? What consequences did or could these choices cause? After the movie, choose one observation and ask your daughter, “What did you think about so and so doing such and such?” Or “Why do you think their relationship didn’t last?”

What if your kids participate in a sport? After practice or a game, bring up an incident or comment on one they mention. Focus on whether or not the choice leading to the incident was good or bad and what influenced their interpretation of the event. What would God have to say about the choice? What other consequences could come for the person who made a poor choice now and farther down the road?

If your children are into the arts, the conversation can take a different direction. In the arts, the focus is often on obvious and hidden messages and themes. Talk about those messages. Discuss whether or not God would want certain messages amplified with the arts or better, more godly messages shared. What sort of messages do they want to send to others with their participation in their art of choice?

You have to be careful not to do this every single time or to sound like you are lecturing them when you do. Make the conversations casual, but meaningful. Show real interest in hearing their thoughts and opinions because they may be sharing parts of their hearts with you as they talk. Since they are already interested in the springboard for the conversation, they may also be willing to discuss it at more length than if you brought it up in some other way. Using your children’s interest to begin spiritual conversations is a great way to help them better understand what God expects from them in a non threatening way. Doing it regularly can help you reinforce important biblical truths you hope they live out in their lives.

Spiritual Disciplines for Your Kids – Fasting

For the last few weeks, we have been looking at spiritual disciplines as a way of helping kids and teens develop habits that will help their spiritual growth and health. These are practices done by Jesus, the Apostles and/or early Christians. Perhaps the discipline most common in antiquity and least practiced today is fasting for spiritual reasons.

By the time of Jesus, fasting had several purposes. People might fast while in mourning, in the face of a local or national tragedy, to prepare for something important or as part of repentance or in service to God. In the time of Jesus, Yom Kippur was the only fast commanded by God, but many observed additional days of fasting associated with holidays and remembrances, like Purim.

Although we think of fasting mainly in terms of not being able to eat, it really had greater significance. Fasting was used as a time to stop a daily routine and use that time to reflect and connect with God through prayer. It also provided time to linger in those prayers and “listen” to what God might want the person to know. Finally, it was used as a time of introspection and repentance.

Our idea of how to conduct a fast is also very different from that of the Jews during the time of Jesus. Their fasts generally lasted from sunrise until the first stars appeared at sunset. Some fasted by not partaking of food or drink during those daylight hours while others only abstained from food. The fasts were generally broken at the appearance of the first stars during sunset.

Jewish children are not required to participate in fasting until they have reached the age of twelve or thirteen, the time at which they begin to take personal responsibility for their faith. Younger children, however, would have watched the adults they know fast on a regular basis and may have even looked forward to their first fast as a rite of passage.

Since health experts question the wisdom of children fasting for a number of reasons, it’s important to teach your kids the principles behind fasting without actually making them go without food for an entire day. (Having said that, our congregation does a special month of praying and fasting every January and the teens are some of the most willing participants.) Encourage them to fast from something they enjoy that takes up their free time for a day and use that time for the same purposes Christians do when they fast from food. For some children, going without their devices for an entire day would be more difficult than going without food.

Even though they aren’t fasting from food, go ahead and plan a special dinner for any night they have fasted. Serve it after sunset. Talk about fasting, its purposes and what they noticed about fasting from their activity. If you fast regularly, talk about how your attitudes and perceptions about fasting change over time. As they approach the teens years and may want to fast from food, make sure to set some safety parameters. Fasting for spiritual purposes is not a way to diet. It should be broken after the ten to twelve hours of daylight with a healthy meal. It’s probably best if they continue to drink water while fasting and teens with certain medical conditions like diabetes should continue to fast from something other than food. Remind them to focus on the spiritual and not other more secular things during the times they would have normally been eating.

While fasting for spiritual reasons has fallen out of fashion, Christians over the centuries have found it helps their focus, their Bible study and their prayer lives. It’s worth teaching your children how to fast and help them make it a regular habit.

Spiritual Disciplines for Your Kids – Bible Study

We are taking a little time each week to look at the various spiritual disciplines historically practiced by many Christians. Teaching your kids how to practice them and helping them create habits of spiritual discipline can make it easier for them to grow spiritually and become active, productive, spiritually healthy Christians as adults. Since many of the disciplines seem more suitable for adults, we are looking at ways to make them kid friendly.

This week, our spiritual discipline is Bible study. Looking at various lists of spiritual disciplines, as well as what Jesus and his apostles did, I believe Bible study actually incorporates three practices crucial for spiritual growth and health.

The first is literally studying the Bible. Your kids need to know everything God wanted them to know, which one can assume is the entire Bible. Even if they attend every Bible class and listen to every sermon your church offers, most will only be exposed to about 20% of the Bible. Which means they are totally unaware of the other 80% and what God wanted them to learn from it. They will be trying to live a Christian life without all of the information God wanted them to have. No wonder so many of us struggle.

We have lots of previous posts you can search for on our blog about helping your kids become independent Bible readers. A few important things to remember. Get them an NIrV version for easier reading and comprehension. Start them off with practical books like Proverbs or James or story heavy books like the Gospels, Acts, Esther, Ruth, Judges, etc. Talk about what they are reading to make sure they are understanding it. Finally, make Bible study time a family time. Connect it to a regular habit like eating a meal or bedtime. You can all hang out together while you read independently or study a passage together.

An important spiritual discipline that has nearly disappeared is scripture memory. When Jesus was a boy, young children memorized the first five books of the Bible in school. Even in my childhood, we were memorizing as many as fourteen verses in a passage at a time in third grade. Your kids will balk at memory work, but it’s important. Why? They need important scriptures firmly planted in their long term memories. That is only possible through regular review. It’s why longer passages are better than short verses – they have to practice more to get them right. This is one area where I think periodic rewards for memorizing long passages may help. Make it a family challenge for even more fun!

The other historic spiritual discipline connected to Bible study is reflection or meditation on scripture. This isn’t the mindless repetition of syllables you may associate with meditation. Rather it is thinking more deeply about a verse or two for a period of time. What does God want us to learn from it? How can it be lived out in day to day life? What might happen if we lived it consistently? What often happens when we don’t?

The best way to get your kids started on this is to have a verse of the day you share in the morning. Proverbs is full of practical verses that are good reflection verses. Read them the verse. Have them repeat it in their own words. Ask them to think about it during the day and be prepared to discuss their thoughts that evening. You may want to print a copy of the verse they can slip in their pocket and refer to throughout the day. Using this practice can improve not only Bible reading comprehension, but deeper thinking about what God wants us to learn from scripture. Your discussions can also emphasize the importance of obedience and encourage them to live out God’s words in their lives.

Bible study is a complex area, but a crucial building block in faith development. It has to happen in the home, because no matter how wonderful your church is…they can’t cover everything. Don’t leave your kids with crucial gaps in their Bible knowledge and understanding. Add this spiritual discipline to your lives.

Fun Activity to Teach Kids About Jesus as a Boy

Do your kids ever complain about going to school? Even kids who generally love school have those moments when it just seems like it’s more trouble than it’s worth. There’s a fun activity you can do with your kids which may not only help them understand the wisdom of doing their best, but also help them learn a little more what life was like for Jesus as a boy.

While you don’t have to have a lot of supplies, it can be more fun if you have chalk and a small chalkboard or a feather that can be used as an ink quill. I highly suggest using thinned black tempera paint rather than ink to minimize the possible disasters ink can create!

Start by asking your kids whether or not God cares if they go to school and if they do their best while there. Don’t correct their answers, but do have them explain their rationale for their answers. Then ask them if they know whether or not Jesus had to go to school and what they know about it.

Just like today, when Jesus was very young, he would have been taught at home. Although we don’t have anything in the Bible about those years, we know Jewish children were taught letters and numbers like children today, except in the languages they used.

Once Jesus was school aged, he would have attended school at the local synagogue with other boys. Sometimes girls attended these schools for a time, while others were “homeschooled”. The synagogue schools taught a variety of subjects, but their main textbook was what we call the Old Testament today. Before they were teens, most boys had memorized the Torah or the first five books of our Old Testament. The really interesting thing is that studies often began in the book of Leviticus – the book of the five most people find difficult because it is full of the laws the Jews had to obey.

In addition to reading, writing, scripture and law, they learned history (mainly from the Old Testament), science and math. The area where Jesus grew up was very concerned with knowing and obeying scripture, so the school Jesus attended probably really taught a lot about it.

Another interesting thing is that Jesus spoke at least two languages – Hebrew and Aramaic. Hebrew was important to the Jews, but in their dealings with those who weren’t Jewish they needed to know Aramaic – the common language at the time. That area would also have been exposed to Greek and Latin, but we don’t know how much of those languages Jesus knew.

If you want, you can also tell your kids about how the students sat around the synagogue in basically a circle. That the Torah and other books of the Bible they had at the time were still on giant scrolls. If you have the writing supplies, let them trying writing some letters and words in Hebrew, Aramaic and even Greek (you can find samples to copy online). Older kids may want to think about the types of scriptures teachers could have used to teach history, science and math to their students.

After your discussion, ask your kids whether or not they thought school was difficult when Jesus was a boy. If they forget, remind them of how much those kids had to memorize to do well in school. Do they think Jesus did his best in school? Why or why not? Although we don’t know a lot about his school years, we know what happened when he went to the Temple the first time at age twelve. Review the story found in Luke 2:41-52. What clues are there in the story about what Jesus had learned?

Read Colossians 3:23-24. How might these verses apply to what they do at school? How would they act differently if they Jesus would ask them how they lived out this verse every day at school? Why is it hard for them to do those things now? What can they do to remind themselves to live out these verses and make better choices at school. End with each child stating a goal for how they can work at school that will reflect the verses in Colossians.