10 Ways to Calm Your Kids in Tough Times

We may be in a global pandemic at the moment, but life always has its stressors. Your kids may be extremely anxious at the moment, or have barely noticed anyone has any concerns at all. Yet the same child who is calm now may melt down right before his or her next exam or performance.

The key is to teach your kids how to manage their stress in godly ways. To lean on God so that stressful times can still be times when they learn, grow and serve. Stress may never disappear from their lives, but they can learn how to minimize the negative impact it has on them.

Here are ten great tools to give your kids to help them manage their stress in godly ways. Use the current situation to help them practice and incorporate them into their lives.

  1. Listen to what God has to say. Whether they hear Bible stories or scriptures from you or read them independently, there is a lot to learn about stress in the Bible. The names may change, but the Bible has a little bit of just about any stressful situation you can imagine including plagues and wars. Notice the ways people handled these stressful situations. Who leaned on God and grew spiritually? Who panicked and made choices without God that caused even more problems? What patterns do they see?
  2. Make prayer a priority. Kids and teens raised in Christian homes believe in prayer even if they aren’t so sure about other aspects of Christianity. Keep a family prayer journal. Have special times of family prayer. Encourage special times of independent prayer. Have your kids touch base electronically with friends and family and add their prayer requests to the mix. Note when God answers prayers – even if the answer is “wait” or “no”. Periodically go back and see how faithful God has been over time.
  3. Put scripture permanently in their hearts and minds. Find a verse or a passage that seems to really comfort your kids. Encourage everyone to memorize it and repeat it when they start feeling anxious. Older kids and teens might want to memorize a few individual verses and a longer passage like Psalm 23.
  4. Sing it out. It’s hard to feel negative when you are singing. Psalms was a very active book used as both songs and prayers for centuries. Find scripture songs or write your own. When everyone starts seeming anxious or sad, start singing.
  5. Philippians 4:8 your home. Turn off the news. You only need updates once or twice a day and young children probably don’t need to hear those first hand. Encourage teens to turn off those automatic notifications from most if not all news sources. Discourage negative books, movies and games. Create an environment that is full of things that are good, pure, lovely and all of those wonderful positive adjectives in Philippians 4:8.
  6. Exercise. Sitting around all day disrupts sleep patterns and can cause depression under the best of circumstances. Exercise works out stress and strengthens the immune system. At this point in time, it seems safe to go for long walks or runs – especially in areas where it is possible to do so and maintain a safe distance from others. try to get everyone walking several miles a day. You may have to start walking a shorter distance and walk a little farther each day to get to that point, but that’s okay. Kids and teens who are in sports or dance may need more vigorous exercise. There are also plenty of online exercise programs that are free and available for working out indoors if necessary.
  7. Be productive. It’s hard to worry about what might happen when you are focused on learning something new or challenging yourself mentally in some way. You may have to experiment a bit if your kids’ schools aren’t providing work. Thankfully there are so many homeschool resources online – many of them free. Don’t forget artistic as well as academic pursuits. Now is the time to practice that instrument, write that song or paint that painting.
  8. Do chores. There is something about taking something that is dirty or messy and working hard to make it clean and neat that is soothing. It allows time to think, but the hard work that is often involved burns off the stress. Your house may never again look as clean and be in as good repair as it will after several weeks of daily chores by everyone. Don’t forget yard work. Planting season is here and watching flowers or food grow can be extremely rewarding (and helpful). You can order supplies online and have them delivered if you want to avoid stores.
  9. Serve someone. It’s hard to focus too much on your own problems when you are focused on helping someone else. Even if you are confined at home, there are things your kids can do to serve others. Get creative, but encourage regular service while you are all at home together.
  10. Create something. God is the Creator. It only makes sense that if we are created in His image, we are designed to create things, too. Get your kids involved creating something – whether it’s a new recipe or a painting to cheer a grandparent. In the process they may also discover gifts God gave them to serve others. Art and music in particular are a great way for kids and teens to work out their emotions in the creative process.

No one knows how long we will be asked to stay close to home. Use this opportunity to teach your kids how to manage their stress in godly ways. They will use those skills long after the current crisis has long passed.

Tips for Helping Your Family Grow Spiritually If You Are Quarantined

Let’s be honest. None of us really wants to be quarantined for a long period of time whether it’s from this virus or something else. The good news is that a lot of healthy families are being quarantined at home. We don’t know how many of us or how long any one area will find everyone at home before the virus peaks and life resumes as normal.

If you find your family at home for any period of time, don’t waste that precious time. You may have few other opportunities to connect as a family in this way. There are a lot of ways you can take advantage of this time and use it to better prepare your kids to be who God wants them to be.

  • Reconnect emotionally. Have those long conversations. Find out what everyone is thinking and feeling about all sorts of topics. Get to really know and appreciate each other. And limit time on devices to no more than an hour or two a day outside of time required for school or work.
  • Have fun together. Play games. Watch silly old kid movies. Tell jokes and stories. Have tea parties. Build forts with blankets. Have a family sleep over. Just enjoy being together.
  • Start or entrench habits of spiritual disciplines. Family devotionals, independent Bible reading, prayer, meditating on scriptures…all of those habits that will make you and your kids stronger spiritually, but you never seem to have time to practice. Challenge and encourage each other to establish good spiritual habits that will keep all of you connected to God each day.
  • Serve others. Whether or not people can leave their homes seems to vary from place to place. FaceTime people who may be isolated at home alone. Help others as much as whatever restrictions you are under will allow. Model unselfish behavior by not hoarding supplies, but sharing.
  • Read good books aloud. Most adults don’t realize it, but even many teens still enjoy hearing a great book read aloud. C.S. Lewis stories appeal to all ages as do many other great books that allow you to have interesting family conversations. You should have access to e-books even if libraries close and many classics you can find online free or at very low cost.
  • Look for God working in the world today. Things like pandemics can make some people question whether or not God still loves us and cares about us. They may feel like God has disappeared. Point out the small blessings God sends your way each day. Celebrate God’s goodness as He gives people gifts to develop new medicines and vaccines to end the current health issues facing us. Remind your kids daily that God is alive and walking beside us even when scary things happen.

I doubt any of us will be volunteering to be quarantined for fun. Taking advantage of the opportunities it may present your family to grow closer and more godly if it is required of you though, may bring your family more benefits than just good health.

Ideas for Valentine Family Fun and Service

Ready for Valentine’s Day? We are big celebrators in our family. Any excuse for adding a bit of fun, joy and love to our days and we are there! Valentine’s Day may have been founded to celebrate romantic love, but why not use it to teach your kids about agape love and have some family fun.

Agape love is the type of love God has for us and we are to have for those around us. It’s a higher love not based on attraction, romance or even friendship. It’s loving others just because they are human beings whom God created and loves.

There are a lot of fun things your family can do to spread some Agape love on Valentine’s Day. You should still have time to accomplish one or more of these before the holiday is over. (Because Valentine’s Day is on a Friday night this year, restaurants are “celebrating” on Saturday and Sunday, too. Let’s do the same!)

  • Shower widows, widowers and single people with love. There’s nothing like Valentine’s Day to remind you that you are single. No matter how happy someone single may be normally, everyone celebrating love can leave one feeling lonely and alone – even unloveable. Have your kids make cards, cookies or little baggies of those heart chocolates. Allow a few minutes to stay and visit. If necessary prepare your kids ahead of time about some things they can say to help the conversation.
  • Love on friends and “frenemies”. Every child has someone at school or in their activities who is less than kind to them. They may have even been treated by another child as an “enemy”. What a better way to teach your kids about loving their enemies than helping them prepare a Valentine surprise for their friends, but especially for those “not so nice kids”. It doesn’t have to be big or fancy. Having some discussions on the subject though can help your kids feel more loving as they give a card or treat to someone they may normally avoid.
  • See the “invisible” people. People with special needs, people who are socially awkward or “unattractive”, people who are poor…our world has lots of people that are unseen by others, because they don’t fit the mold of someone who makes a good friend or even acquaintance. Consider having some of the “invisible” people your family knows over for a meal or dessert. Or give them a Valentine’s treat and have a real conversation with them. Find out the things they enjoy doing. Get to really know them as “real” people with real stories. Make them visible to your family.
  • Thank the unappreciated. How many bus drivers, crossing guards, or maintenance people are ever thanked, much less receive Valentine’s treats? Even teachers can be forgotten. What about the mail carrier, the garbage collectors and the counter person at the dry cleaners? How many unappreciated people can your family make feel appreciated over the next few days?
  • Serve those who help others. Ministries and non-profits usually have ongoing needs for items or volunteer hours. Can your family find a way to give a ministry or non-profit some extra help?
  • Surprise your family members. Let’s be honest. The people in our family know how to get on our “last nerve”. Living in the same house can create conflicts and hurt feelings. We can say the worst things to the people who love us the most. Why not change that dynamic? Encourage everyone in your family to find ways to surprise, encourage and love everyone in your family. Make it fun and focus on all of those little things that would make life more pleasant for the people in your family.

Make Valentine’s Day a day when your family has a tradition of loving everyone they can. Encourage your kids to pour out love generously. Who knows, your family may enjoy it so much it becomes a habit every day of the year!

Creating Space for Your Kids to Grow

Maria Montessori was an Italian educator who believed giving children the freedom to explore their environment was the best way for them to learn. She developed classrooms full of interesting things that would engage children, encourage them to explore, experiment and ultimately learn.

While I don’t necessarily agree with everything in her theories, she did have some important points. And though as far as we know, she didn’t apply them to a child’s spiritual growth and development, they do.

The ministry of Jesus and how he discipled the apostles is very interesting. We know now what their futures held, but they didn’t. Jesus did, however, and he spent a lot of time teaching and mentoring them. But look a little more closely.

There were times where he went off to pray and left them to themselves. At other times, he sent one or more of them on what could basically be described as an errand. Once he sent them off for a period of time to try teaching and healing on their own.

These opportunities gave the apostles time and room to process, think, pray, day dream, experiment and practice. The Bible doesn’t give us many details about what they did during these times. We know a few of their activities like fishing, sleeping, discussing, arguing and talking to those around them, but we can only imagine the other things they did during those times.

The apostles spent about three years with Jesus. Yet the teaching, mentoring and free space and time to grow helped them do just that. As far as we know, with the exception of Judas, they all became courageous ministers.

Who knows the plans God has for your kids? What Maria Montessori and Jesus knew though is that your kids need some free time. They need time to pray, read scripture and process everything they are learning about God. They need time to reflect on scripture and think about who God has created them to be. They need time to experiment with the gifts God may have given them and think about how they can be more like Jesus. They need to experiment in the ways they can best serve others and share their faith.

They won’t have the time to do these things if every moment is not just scheduled, but over scheduled. Or if their free time is spent interacting with screens. Fill your home with things they can explore, experiment with and ultimately learn. Give them enough free time without devices so they can work on becoming who God wants them to be.

This will probably mean making some tough decisions. Activities will have to be cut. Ignore societal pressure that demands every child be engaged in programmed activities every minute of every day. Yes, idle hands can be the devil’s workshop, but only if there is no godly adult presence and guidance. Give your kids the space and time to grow to be the person God created them to be. You may just be pleasantly surprised how they grow when they have the space and time to do it.

Your Child Has a Ministry

What? Your child isn’t old enough to work at McDonald’s. In fact he or she is convinced a career as super hero or astronaut is in their future. Yet, God has a ministry plan for your child…if he or she is ready for the challenge.

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Ephesians 2:10 NIV) God loves your kids. He wants them to choose to be His child and become a Christian when they are old enough to make that choice. He even has a ministry…good works…specially prepared for them to do.

Those good works are your child’s ministry. They may be big or small. In fact, some of those good deeds might be presented to them while they are still young and living at home.

Our world has us so focused on helping our kids find occupations and jobs, that we forget it is more important for them to find their ministry. Yes, they need to have food on the table and hopefully a roof over their head, but where they will truly grow and become fully who God created them to be is in their personal ministry.

Start now by helping them build strong faith foundations and develop and use their gifts from God. Talk about ways to find those good works God wants them to do. Encourage them to be as content in taking soup to a lonely neighbor as they are in going on a mission trip to Africa. Teach them how to find ways to share their faith and encourage other Christians as they do those good works.

God doesn’t give any of us a list of the good works He has prepared for us so we can check them off as we go. If I had to guess, it’s because that list is possibly based on our reaction to each opportunity as it is presented to us…or in this case your kids. What God has done is told us to be on the look out for those opportunities He gives us to do those good works.

Your child may never be a “professional” minister. His or her good works will most likely take place more in the world than in the church building. Some of them will be based on the gifts God has given your child. This isn’t a competition. It’s about being fully the person God has created your child to be – His child, doing those good works He has prepared for him or her. It’s worth the time and effort to help your child learn how to live that Christian life.