It seems like every day another young person commits suicide. There are many different reasons some children choose such a drastic route to end their pain. One reason that is often cited is an intense feeling of loneliness, sometimes caused by the rejection of peers and others. Young people can be surrounded by peers, live in an urban area with millions of people and still feel as if they are all alone.
Assuming the young person does not have an underlying mental health issue though, there are some things parents can do to help their children prepare for loneliness, being alone and solitude. You can’t solve all of their social issues – especially as they reach the teen years, but you can give them extra layers of protection from severe loneliness.
The best time to help your children be ready to prevent or handle loneliness is before they become lonely. Studies have shown that not only is the need to feel like they belong a basic need, but also when they are lonely, it only increases their sense of needing to feel like they belong somewhere. (Making them more susceptible to the temptations of peers to do ungodly things in order to belong.)
So what can you do as a parent to help your kids be prepared to handle the loneliness we all feel on occasion? Here are some of my favorites (Please note: These may not work for young people who have underlying mental health issues. Please have your child checked by a doctor for loneliness that seems to last more than a few days.):
The problem with parenting books is that the vast majority contain only a portion of new information. The rest is the same you would find in any quality parenting book. It may be extremely valuable, but I personally become bored reading the stuff I already know. Unfortunately, I have often zoned out before I get to the valuable new information.
Perhaps the most underused resource in the Church is our children and teens. Oh, many churches sink tons of money and people resources into keeping them entertained or from “disturbing” adult activities or if you are blessed, helping them learn more about God. Yet, hardly any church is actually tapping into children and teens as a meaningful part of the body – a resource that will benefit both God’s Kingdom and the young people.
Attend many churches and you would think the old adage “children should be seen and not heard” is still in effect. Often children are hustled out for children’s worship as soon as possible or aren’t even really welcomed into corporate worship at all. You may see a couple of kids picking up attendance cards or used communion cups and even an occasional teen participating in worship leading activities. In general though, children are kept out of the way and either entertained or merely prevented from “disrupting” adults and their activities.
Perhaps, the scariest thing to me about parenting is the fear of my daughter rejecting God. Many of my parenting decisions were made because I wanted to be able to honestly say I did everything I knew how to do to help her be strong spiritually. And yet there are no guarantees your child will be a faithful, productive Christian as an adult. Or are there?