Can Everybody Win in Family Conflicts?

Let’s be honest, conflict can ruin the best of days. When a home is in constant conflict everyone is miserable – even the kids who may not be directly involved in the fighting. So what can parents do to handle conflicts in productive ways that strengthen their family instead of ripping it apart?

Gary Chapman is best known as the author of the Love Languages books. Everybody Wins steps away from the love languages a bit and takes a look at conflict. While the book sounds as if it is written to handle any conflicts, it actually focuses on disagreements between husbands and wives. While that makes sense for many reasons, I honestly believe the principles would apply to any conflict between two people who truly care about each other and their relationship.

This book is an easy read and extremely practical. I won’t say it is easy, because if doing the things he suggests were that easy, we would all be doing them already. The book is small (literally) and has only seven chapters. The first two are more general, while the remaining five address a particular step towards conflict resolution.

To say the advice is common sense is to deny the power it could provide many couples of resolving those marital fights that happen over and over – sometimes for decades. Chapman encourages the reader to reframe how they see themselves, their spouse and the conflict itself in more productive ways.

If both people in the marriage work this book (which includes discussion questions at the end of each chapter), there would be happier marriages all around. The key is to remember that great marriages aren’t an accident. They take work on the parts of both spouses.

If you haven’t read this book and you ever feel like your conflicts aren’t resolved in the best of ways, this is the book you need to read. Changing bad habits may be more difficult than reading the book, but in the end it could make life a lot better.

This book was provided to me for free in exchange for my honest review. An affiliate link is included for your convenience.

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Thereasa Winnett

Thereasa Winnett is the founder of Teach One Reach One and blogger at Parenting Like Hannah. She holds a BA in education from the College of William and Mary. She has served in all areas of ministry to children and teens for more than thirty years and regularly leads workshops for ministries and churches. She has conducted numerous workshops, including sessions at Points of Light’s National Conference on Volunteering and Service, the National Urban Ministry Conference, Pepperdine Bible Lectures, and Lipscomb’s Summer Celebration. Thereasa lives in Atlanta, GA with her husband Greg, where she enjoys reading, knitting, traveling and cooking. Their daughter Katrina, who has been an integral part of their service adventures, attends Pepperdine University.

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