A large part of living the Christian life is having godly character traits. The New Testament has several lists of traits that God wants your children to have as well as some God does not want them to exhibit. There is one trait listed that is a word I doubt many of us use regularly or for which we could give a solid definition – virtue. 2 Peter 1:5a reads, “supplement your faith with virtue”. What is virtue and how can we instill it in our children?
Looking at the dictionary definition of virtue/virtuous helps, but still doesn’t make it crystal clear from a parenting standpoint. Webster defines virtue as “moral excellence, value, merit, worth, integrity of character, purity of soul, performance of duty, energy, strength, temperance (self control), service/charity and chastity”. That’s a lot to unpack! It’s almost as if Peter were trying to package every character trait mentioned in the New Testament into one word – virtue.
Although he is in theory promoting stoicism (true stoicism has some aspects in common with Christianity – mainly valuing some similar character traits), author Ryan Holiday in his book, Discipline is Destiny, does a great job in breaking the idea of virtue into an organized list of character traits. He believes virtue is composed of character traits that fall into one of four categories that are consistent in many religions – courage/fortitude (we would probably say perseverance)/sacrifice, self control/moderation/balance, justice/service/fellowship/goodness/kindness and wisdom/knowledge/truth/peace. Notice that the words in each category aren’t necessarily synonyms, but paint a clearer picture of that particular category of virtue. (Note: It’s important to remember that anyone can stumble across one or more of God’s Truths without believing in or obeying God. This inclusion of some Truth does not mean their religion or philosophy is Truth as a whole.)
The problem is that the world around us no longer values virtue. It sees many, if not most, of these traits as archaic, stifling and oppressive. Yet the opposite is true. Living a life of virtue as a Christian ultimately means not only obeying God’s commands but also shaping our character to be more like His image. It may not always be fun, but it provides the richest, most fulfilling – and I would argue – most joyful life possible in this fallen world.
Your children aren’t born virtuous, nor will they become it over night. Becoming virtuous requires hard work and can only be truly reached with the help of God. Those who don’t value virtue will try to convince your children that the process is perfectionism at its worst and will ultimately destroy them. Or that it will take all of the fun out of life. Or that by striving to be virtuous, thy are attempting to earn their way into Heaven (Sadly, those who call themselves Christians can at times discourage others from living a virtuous life). As your children get older, pursuing godly Christian virtue may cost them friends and romantic relationships. They won’t make it if you don’t instill in them an almost stubborn desire to become who God created them to be – His virtuous servant.
Should you be raising virtuous children? Absolutely! The world will be a better place if you succeed.