Character Training – Page 106 – Parenting Like Hannah

Letting Kids See the Ugly Side of Christianity

Once when I was little, I complained about a disagreement my parents were having. My parents looked at me and said, “Take notes. You will fight with your spouse one day and you need to know your marriage will survive it.” It’s funny how we as parents want to protect our children from any ugliness in their lives. I have known parents who absolutely refuse to ever let their children hear them arguing. It may be fine in childhood, but then you have raised a child who thinks spouses should never fight. After all, his didn’t!

It may sound far fetched, but I have encountered many adults who thought an argument meant they had a bad marriage because their parents had “never fought”. Unfortunately, we are even more likely as parents to hide the ugly side of Christianity from our children. We then raise children who question the concept of church and even God when they encounter their first ugliness in a Christian or a congregation.

Parents fight. If they don’t, there are other serious problems involved. Two people cannot live together for that many years and never disagree about anything or want to get their own way. Churches too are filled with people. Yes, they are Christians trying to follow God’s Word (granted perhaps some more than others!), but they are still sinful people in need of a Savior. Baptism doesn’t suddenly make you perfect. It makes you forgiven and saved.

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Proverbs for Kids

Proverbs for Kids - Parenting Like Hannah Proverbs is one of the Bible books I encourage kids and teens to read first when they attempt independent Bible reading. Proverbs is an awesome book. I know, every book in the Bible is wonderful, Proverbs is special. I love it because it is full of hundreds of tiny bits of wisdom, any of which can be life and eternity changing for those who heed them.

A proverb can say clearly in a few words what other authors may take a long story or a sermon to try and communicate. This is great for little ones with relatively short attention spans. They only have to attend for less than a minute to learn godly advice which can help them the rest of their lives.

Proverbs are also great because they often paint vivid images or have a touch of humor. Who doesn’t remember the Proverb about an annoying, nagging woman being like a constant leak in a roof? (27:15) You can close your eyes and picture the cartoon God’s words create. Yet at the heart of this humorous image is an important truth for women to avoid becoming an annoying “leaky roof” in the lives of others.

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When Your Kids Think They’re Smarter Than You

When Your Kids Think They're Smarter Than You - Parenting Like Hannah It starts innocently enough. A teacher in school teaches your child something you have long since forgotten. You are too lazy to look up how to do the special shortcut on your phone or the meaning of the newest acronym. Suddenly, your children begin to believe they may just be smarter and wiser than their rapidly aging parents.

The first signs are often deep sighs accompanied by eye rolls. You can hear the exasperation in their tone as they impatiently explain probably for the SECOND time how to accomplish the ever so simple task you obviously are unable to master. Suddenly, everything you say is suspect. If Mom can’t master such a simple task, how can she possibly know what’s best for me in my complex social situation? Or how to add triple digit numbers? Forget about anything cultural or spiritual. Surely, any information she can share is from the dark ages before Apple.

If you have been a parent for very long, you probably have or will see signs of this in your children from time to time. Some of you may see it multiple times on a daily basis. Most parents internally roll their own eyes and think, “Life will knock you down a peg or two and then you’ll come running back to me for advice.” And they are probably right – to a point.

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Teaching Kids Service Begins at Home

Let’s be honest. Every child has the potential for beginning to believe you, Mom, are their personal servant. No matter, how much we make them do chores or serve others outside of the home, even the sweetest, most loving, generous child would often rather be served than to serve.

Christian parents will often turn themselves inside out making sure their children are involved in serving the Church and their communities in hopes of raising a child with a servant heart. Unfortunately, I have seen children and teens who will haul boulders in broiling heat for strangers and then will go home and become the most selfish, demanding task master to their mother and siblings.

You see the trick to true, godly service is that it comes from the heart. Not a heart that feels momentary pity and wants the “high” of helping others. No, godly service comes from a heart full of love for others. A heart willing to put the needs of others before the wants of itself. A heart that loves the pauper as much as the prince. A heart willing to serve mom, dad and siblings as much as total strangers.

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Christian Character Traits for Kids

Christian parents often ask, “What are the character traits I should teach my children?” Even if you reduce your research to just the New Testament, the options can seem overwhelming. As with anything you attempt to teach your children, it is important not to try and work on too many things too deeply at one time. If your children are toddlers, it is a great time to start introducing basic ideas in simple statements. If you have been working with older children, but feel there are some gaps, you may want to focus on correcting and changing one or two bad habits or attitudes at a time.

So what areas should be your primary focus? I am sure you can find lots of different lists, but I believe these are some of the foundational character traits your child must possess in order to be the Christian God wants them to be:

Obedience – As politically incorrect as the idea of obedience may be today, it is absolutely essential your child can obey. Being a Christian revolves around our obedience to God. (Yes, I know we can’t earn our way to heaven, but God commands our obedience.) There are actually two types of obedience you need to teach your child. First, whenever possible, teach your child the “why’s” behind God’s commands and yours. Teach them godly commands protect us from negative consequences and often provide some sort of blessing (If nothing else the blessing of a lack of negative consequences in your life.). Perhaps the most important type of obedience your child must learn to embrace is immediate, unquestioning obedience. There are times when your child must obey God and/or you immediately without questioning and perhaps without ever really understanding why the command is given. If your child begins to dart in front of a car, immediate obedience to your command to stop can save his life. If you do not teach your child to obey you and ultimately God as a child, his likelihood of obeying God in adulthood are dramatically reduced.

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