Category: Character Training

Budgeting 101 for Christian Parents

Not too long ago, my husband and I were talking to a parent who was upset about his young adult child’s poor handling of money. “I thought they were teaching him all of that stuff at school,” he lamented. Even though some schools are beginning to teach financial literacy, most still are not. Even if your children are being taught about money at school, they are not being taught from a Christian perspective and quite possibly not even a helpful one (remember how well schools are doing at teaching other subjects). Financial literacy is one of those topics that you personally need to teach your children.

So where do you start, when you may not be confident about your own money management skills? As with everything in Christianity, you start with their hearts. Although the idea of a specific percentage of income as a tithe is not specifically mentioned in the New Testament, giving to God generously is. There is also the theme of “first fruits” giving throughout the Bible – giving to God first. In the New Testament, Christians were selling off assets to help the church and other Christians who were going through tough times. It is clear God expects His people to give back to Him first, generously and with a willing heart.

Your children will best learn this by observing how you give to God. Are you putting Him first or do you cut back on your contribution to pay for something new that you want? Are you generous when your congregation is collecting items to help others or do you ignore pleas for help? Do you spontaneously help others going through tough times? Your kids understand more than you realize it and will often learn the values, priorities and attitudes you have about money.

Your kids will also learn about giving by having an allowance and being encouraged to give generously to God from it. I know most congregations have shifted to online giving, but they all have giving boxes children can put their offerings into. If you don’t know where yours is located, ask a minister to show you where it is. Encourage your children to give weekly and generously and talk about how you and your spouse do the same online.

Giving is a lot easier when a budget is in place. A budget helps plan expenses to stay within one’s income level, to save for emergencies and to give to God. There are plenty of tools for free online to teach children basic budgeting skills. Unfortunately, most are written from a secular perspective. Which means giving to God is ignored and priorities may be focused on making as much money as possible to spend on oneself. Dave Ramsey has some great resources from a Christian perspective. There is a charge involved, but we used his homeschool materials with our daughter and she not only enjoyed them, but still uses the things she learned as a young adult.

Don’t assume someone else is teaching your kids about how to handle their money in godly ways. Scripture tells us the love of money is the root of all evil and leaving your kids open to the world’s influence about money almost ensures they will be taught to love it. Be proactive and teach them what God wants them to know.

Fun Ways to Help Your Kids Remember to Thank God

As a Christian parent, you have probably prayed with your children since they were babies. At some point, you will need to begin to transition them to a personal prayer life. You will still pray with them at times, but you need to encourage them to pray regularly when they aren’t with you, too.

Part of that process is establishing habits of praying to God about certain things. The Bible mentions multiple times that we should be grateful to God for His many blessings. There is a fun way to get your kids in the habit of thanking God daily when they pray.

Call your kids together and tell them the story of the ten lepers found in Luke 17:11-19. Ask them how Jesus must have felt when the one leper came back and thanked him for healing him. Then ask them how Jesus must have felt when the other nine did not show gratitude. Read 1 Thessalonians 5:18. Ask them why they think it is important to thank God for our blessings.

Give each child a large sheet of paper and have them draw a giant heart on it. Point out that expressing gratitude is one way of showing God we love and appreciate Him. Ask your children how often they think God blesses them. Hopefully, they realize he blesses them daily. If not, take some time helping them think of blessings that God gives them every day as well as some special blessings He gives them from time to time, like healing them when they are sick.

Have your children write or draw on their hearts blessings God gives them every day. After they are finished, have them pray to God thanking Him for those blessings. Then help them place their hearts where they will see them every day. At dinner time or bedtime every day, take a moment and have each child write or draw three things they were grateful to God for that day. Encourage them to thank God for them in prayer then as well as for all of His blessings throughout the day. Talk about visual reminders they may see that remind them of a gift from God. Encourage them when they see those things to take a few seconds and thank God in the moment.

Habits take time to develop, so you may need to do the activity together for a few weeks and gradually transition them to doing it independently. Create new heart drawings when one gets filled, but save previous ones so your kids have reminders of God’s blessings in their lives. Eventually, your kids may not need the physical reminders any more, but even adults can benefit at times from reminders to be grateful to God.

Fun Family Activity on Controlling Your Words

One of the great things about little children is that they have no filter. If they think it, they are extremely likely to say it! While that can be funny at times, they can also say things that unintentionally hurt the feelings of others. Over time, most children begin to develop a filter of sorts. They learn that it is probably not the best idea to say certain things. As the world around them is beginning to have no filter, however, you will have to spend more time working with your children on developing a godly filter between their thoughts and words. There is a fun mini family devotional and activity you can do with your kids to begin the process.

For the activity you will need white paper, markers or crayons, pens and scissors. Call your kids together and tell them the story found in Numbers 20:7-12. Point out that Moses evidently thought he would strike the rock instead of speaking to it as God commanded. His thoughts convinced him to (in this case) not say something God told Moses to say. More often though, we think something and shouldn’t say it, but do.

Give your children each a sheet of paper. Have them draw a brain at the top and a mouth at the bottom. The drawings don’t have to be fancy, just clear enough so your kids will remember which is which. Then have them cut another sheet of paper into strips.

Have them write on slips of paper things they often think, but shouldn’t say out loud. They can stick these slips to their brain drawings with glue or tape. Then have them write on slips the types of things they should be saying to others and tape those slips to the drawings of their mouth. Older children can draw a filter between their brain and mouth and write down things they could say to themselves to remind them to not actually speak things that shouldn’t be said.

After they are finished, talk about their art. How hard is it for them to remember to not say certain things? What can they do to get better at filtering their thoughts before speaking? Why does God want them to be so careful about what they say to others? With older children also talk about the difference between opinion and truth and that it isn’t necessary to share their opinion with anyone. (Note: “Their truth” is usually an opinion and not an objective truth.) You might also want to all memorize scriptures like James 1:26 and 1 Peter 3:10.

If you have children who are extroverted, you will need to revisit this conversation multiple times. Extroverts are more likely to speak, which often increases the chances they will say something they shouldn’t. Introverts aren’t immune to saying unkind things, however. They just may say it a little more quietly or think no one hears them because they are saying it under their breath.

If your family has developed really bad speech habits, you may want to have a fine jar for collecting fines when people don’t filter their speech. Of course, once your kids can control their tongues, don’t forget to work with them on controlling those negative thoughts to begin with! The Bible says this is one of the most difficult skills to master, so make sure you spend plenty of time with your kids working on it.

Tips for Raising Kids Who Confess

Did you ever think about how important confession is in Christianity? We are to confess our sins to God (1 John 1:19) and to one another (James 5:16). It’s impossible to repent of your sins without confessing them. It’s a central tenet of Christianity, but in many churches confession is rarely even mentioned.

While young children don’t sin, they do disobey you. What happens next? Often children begin avoiding confession when they realize admitting what they have done leads to punishment. Since the Bible also teaches parents should discipline their children, what should parents do to teach their kids to confess when they have done something wrong – whether it was a mistake or rebellion?

There are probably a lot of things you could do, but here are a few of our favorites.

  1. Don’t over react when your child confesses something. Take a breath before beginning correction and discipline if needed. You can be firm without yelling and having a tantrum.
  2. Don’t punish honest mistakes when confessed. One of the most common parenting mistakes is punishing children for honest mistakes. It’s okay to ask them to help clean up the mess they made if appropriate. Most of the time, you could have made the same mistake, so give them the understanding and grace you would want under the same circumstances.
  3. Reinforce the importance of confession. Directly, intentionally teach them that God expects them to confess to Him when they sin. Encourage them to memorize a key verse or two on the topic.
  4. Set a good example. If you made a mistake and it’s age appropriate to share it with your kids, then tell them about it. If it impacted them, apologize. If you sinned, tell them how you prayed for God to forgive you.
  5. Praise them for their confession, while correcting and if necessary, disciplining them for their rebellion. It’s okay to let your kids know you are proud of them for their honest confession – even though you are less than thrilled with the choices that created a need for their confession.
  6. Tell them Bible stories about people who confessed and how God/Jesus handled it. They need to hear that Jesus forgave Peter and let him know he still loved him after Peter betrayed him. There are plenty of stories in the Bible when God forgave someone after they confessed their sins and repented.

It’s important you raise children who are willing to confess their sins. Otherwise, they will struggle to repent when they sin. Take some steps now to make it a bit easier for them.

Family Game Night For Fun and Faith

I’m a big fan of family game nights. We enjoyed them when our daughter was little and still love playing games when she and her husband come visit for a week. Playing board games with your kids can build relationships and create fun family memories. They can help ease the pain when they are having issues with friends. They can teach skills, like problem solving and time management, that strengthen resilience. Did you also know that you can use games to strengthen their Bible knowledge and build on their faith foundation?

Our game chest has always been filled with a mixture of secular and Bible games. Unfortunately, when our daughter was young, there weren’t a ton of options. In a quick scan through Amazon, I found that even some popular secular games like Cranium look like they now have official Bible versions.

Be aware though that not all Bible games have equal value. Some probably aren’t any more helpful than secular games for increasing Bible knowledge or comprehension. I would suggest thinking through any purchases of Bible games. Trivia decks are fun to have in the car for road trips. If you have a secular version of the game they love, then see if you can purchase just the question decks from the Bible version and use the same game board.

Or you might want to buy an entirely new Bible game. Also think about the underlying messages it may be sending your kids. I saw one that advertised making hysterically funny drawings for Bible verses. I can see a game like that either reinforcing Bible memory work or creating a disrespect for scripture depending upon how it is structured. Sometimes youth groups and children’s ministries own Bible games and you can look through them to see if they are something you want to purchase for home use. Or a Christian you know may already own the game and can tell you about it.

Just because a game is advertised as “Christian” or “Bible” doesn’t mean it will help your kids grow spiritually. Don’t forget, your kids can also learn character lessons by playing any games – even secular ones. The important thing is to have regular game nights. If you need a new game, consider a Bible one. It may add another dimension to the fun.