5 Tips for Raising a Quiet Child

5 Tips for Raising a Quiet Child - Parenting Like Hannah“Fine” That’s often the favorite word of the quiet child. If you have a quiet child, you may feel like it takes an enormous amount of effort to get him to speak a complete sentence, much less pour his heart out to you. Quiet kids can be male or female and any age, although parents seem the most frustrated trying to communicate with quiet teen boys.

You may be tempted to give up and not try after a few hundred failed attempts at conversation. Unfortunately, parenting is much more difficult when your child doesn’t open up and talk. Christian parenting is virtually impossible because a child who doesn’t tell you what’s on her heart and mind leaves you guessing by the behaviors you see. (Which can be a very inaccurate measure of the heart.)

Your quiet child is also very likely introverted and likes to go off and be alone for hours at a time. You can’t change how God created your child’s nature, but you can soften it a bit. (The strengths God gave your kids can become detrimental when taken to the extreme. God provides parents to mold those gifts to God’s original design and plan – often softening them from the extremes to which kids will often take their gifts.)

If you have a quiet child, doing these things should help if done consistently over a period of time.

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Fun Ways to Get Glimpses of Your Children’s Hearts

Fun Ways to Get Glimpses of Your Children's Hearts - Parenting Like HannahTo be an effective Christian parent, you really need to understand your children’s hearts. You need to know their priorities, what they love and what gets them excited about life. Those insights can help better guide you as you dedicate your kids to God. Unfortunately, no matter how well you know your kids, you can ultimately only see the parts of their hearts they allow you to see.

If your child is quiet, very private or going through a tough time, those glimpses of his or her heart can be hard to find. There are some fun things you can do though, that will give you sneak peeks into the hearts of even the quietest child. Some of these you may already be doing with your kids, but didn’t realize the important information the results of those activities was giving you about their hearts.

Here are a few of my favorites and how to start interpreting them.

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I’d Like You More If You Were More Like Me

I'd Like You More If You Were More Like Me - Parenting Like HannahLet’s be honest for a minute. No matter how much you love your spouse and children, there are just moments when you want to run away to Tahiti without them – permanently! Fortunately, God frowns on such things or Tahiti would be over run with runaway moms (and dads, and kids!).

Many of those days are a result of people living together in a confined space day after day. No matter how much alike you are, there are differences. Those differences can cause misunderstandings. Actually at times, even similarities can also cause conflict.

Most of us are totally unaware of this and honestly believe everyone else is somehow fatally flawed because they think and act differently than we do. While in some cases that may be true, the vast majority of those differences are perfectly godly and acceptable.

Unfortunately, those differences can cause us to pull away and create emotional distance – creating shadow marriages and families – not the deep intimate, beautiful relationships God designed them to be. John Ortberg’s book I’d Like You If You Were More Like Me is one of the very best books I have ever read for helping people recapture the intimate relationships God designed for them to have in their lives.

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Fun Special Outings for Christian Moms and Their Daughters

Fun Special Outings for Christian Moms and Their Daughters - Parenting Like Hannah
PC Tamara Behlarian

In Why Christian Moms Need Special Outings With Tween Daughters, I shared some of the reasons I believe it’s so important for moms to take the time to go on special outings with their tween daughters. Honestly, I would encourage you to continue the practice well into adulthood. Your daughters will need your love, attention and mentoring all of their lives.

Maybe you love the idea, but have no idea what would be a good outing after you have been to the movies, had a manicure or gone shopping. Below, I’ve shared some of the things I did with my daughter as well as some things my friends have done with their daughters. Unlike other areas of Christian parenting, I don’t think these outings have to revolve around a spiritual or religious activity. Some of our best conversations have happened in tea rooms or on walks on the beach.

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Why Christian Moms Need Special Outings With Tween Daughters

Why Christian Moms Need Special Outings With Tween Daughters - Parenting Like Hannah
PC Tamara Behlarian

Have you ever felt like a caterpillar? Did you ever go through a stage when you believed you would never turn into a moth, much less a beautiful butterfly? For some women, those feelings can last for decades, while others may only feel like that for a few weeks of their lives. I would imagine if you ask most women when those feelings peaked though, they would tell you the tween/middle school years.

When our daughter was in late elementary school, we found the Secret Keepers by Dannah Gresh. (This link is what I believe is the current edition. Ours had cassette tapes!) The program was about modesty, beauty and all of that fun girl stuff from a Christian perspective. The series itself was fine, but what made it so special was the “date” we went on for each lesson. I only remember one now, because our daughter got to bring a friend and it involved trying on a lot of clothes – not normally a favorite thing of mine to do. We had a blast though.

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